The Monday List

A Matter Of The Great Escape From Stalug Luft 633 Squadron Is Missing

It's Bank Holiday weekend again, and that means most TV channels will be showing a classic war film. So here at Planet Sad Towers, we'll be plonked in front of the telly with a packet or six of Barbecue Beef Monster Munch, waiting to spot these particular characters:

A sadistic German camp commandant sporting a monocle
Someone on an upper bunk in the POW's quarters, playing a mournful tune on the harmonica
A spy parachuting behind enemy lines, dressed as a nun
A doomed airman whose burning plane is being talked down by a beautiful radio controller
Some shipwrecked seaman, clinging to a piece of flotsam in shark-infested waters
A pair of Land Girls, probably called Lil and Flo
Some children being evacuated from London, waiting on a railway station platform clutching cardboard suitcases and with their name on a label pinned to their coat
Steve McQueen, jumping over something on a huge, shiny motorbike just because he can
An American GI getting off with the local girls by giving them chocolate and nylons
The private who talks about the sweetheart he'll be going back to once the fighting ends, and is therefore a dead man walking
A couple of POWs walking around surreptitiously dispensing earth from the escape tunnel that's being dug in the compound
Donald Pleasance, trying to persuade everyone else he can see
The new recruit to the platoon, who will meet a nasty end before anyone has actually learned his name
Someone's pet Labrador with a name that's highly inappropriate name to modern ears
A couple of Japanese soldiers who haven't realised the war is over
Noel chuffing Coward

The Monday List

Ten More Comedy Sketch Shows You've Probably Completely Forgotten About

Hello Mum
Barking
TV Go Home
Rock With Laughter
Jo Brand Through The Cakehole
Tittybangbang
The Kevin Bishop Show
Alfresco
Who Dares Wins...
Blunder

Nathan Fillion Is Very Disappointed In You

The Monday List

Ten Musicians/Bands Who Have Cameos In Other Bands' Videos

The Specials (Driving In My Car, Madness)
Salon Kitty (Wannabe, The Spice Girls)
Paul McCartney (They Don't Know, Tracey Ullman)
Kid Rock (Rockstar, Nickelback)
Jonathan Davies out of Korn (Break Stuff, Limp Bizkit)
Kaiser Chiefs (Oh My God, Mark Ronson/Lily Allen)
Lemmy (Running Free, Airbourne)
Mark Hopus out of Blink 182 (Weightless, All Time Low)
Beck (The Hardest Button To Button, White Stripes)
Stevie Nicks (Bootylicious, Destiny's Child)

The Monday List

Ten More Weird Valspar Paint Names

Peruvian Pom Pom
Hello Prism
City Arboretum
Lofty Delight
Timid Absinthe
Coastal Jetty
Sunset Curtains
Leprechaun Laugh
Pronghorn
Baked Bahama

Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day

At first, we thought this was an out-take from one of Idris Elba's Sky Box Set ads, after he'd got tired of cajoling viewers to binge-watch Game Of Thrones and resorted to plain old-fashioned violence instead. Then we realised he's just being incredibly manly in a still from Bastille Day, and once he's put the gun down he's going to twig he's in a French high-concept thriller and go do the requisite twenty minutes of parkour through the Ninth Arrondissement...

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 10: a dustman. We think. It might be the Kwik-fit Fitter. You can tell we really put a lot of research into these things, can't you?

The Monday List

The Not At All Cliched Return Of Ten Gang Names Taken From TV Tropes.org We'd Like To See In A Remake Of The Warriors

The Fighting Narcissists
The Apron Matrons
The Drunken Sailors
The Gratuitous Animal Sidekicks
The Useless Boyfriends
The Green-skinned Space Babes
The Innocent Bystanders
The Tiny Schoolboys
The Obi-Wannabes
The Mary Sues

These Dogues de Bordeaux…

…are very disappointed in you.