Amazing Family Viewing Lookalikes!

(With Huge Ackman included! You’re welcome, ladies...)

Roddy from Flushed Away and Rotherham United FC's
Drewe Broughton

Amazing Christmas Lookalikes!

Rotherham United goalie Andy Warrington and Bad Santa Eminem:

He sees you when you're keeping...

The Monday List

Ten Celebrities Who Sound Like Exotic Diseases
 
'Sorry, I can't come into work today, I've got a bad case of...'
Ruud Gullit
Ally McCoist
Tiggy Legge-Bourke
Plum Sykes
Moura Lympany
George Corraface
Heike Blassneck
Chantal Collopy
Benicio del Toro
Vitas Gerulaitas

Hi! We're Muse! Episode 7

Yesterday, Teignmouth. Today, the world!

Click on the pic to avoid eyestrain!

Amazing Lookalikes!

Hans Moleman and Sir Roger Moore















Double oh dear.

Great Random Moments In Musical History

No 3: Britney Spears launches a perfume which enables us to use the caption Britney Spears: buy Curious...

The Monday List

Ten People Who Really Should Eat Something
Victoria Beckham
Nicole Richie
Justin Hawkins
Michaela Strachan
Teri Hatcher
Gabriel Clarke off ITV Sport
Keira Knightley
Celine Dion
Michael Stipe
Nicole Kidman

Great Random Moments In Musical History

No 2: Eddie Van Halen marries a woman who looks exactly like he does...

 

Amazing Lookalikes!

John Kear, coach of the Wakefield Wildcats, and Norris off Coronation Street:

One of these men is still hoping for a try and a conversion with Emily Bishop...

The Monday List

The Top Ten Naffest Rock Songs To Perform As Encores
Tush
The Boys Are Back In Town
Rock ’N’ Roll
Honky Tonk Women
With A Little Help From My Friends
Smoke On The Water (especially if you wrote it)
We’re An American Band (especially if you’re from Wolverhampton)
All Night Long
Rockin’ All Over The World
Your only hit single
N.B. All the above are doubly naff if you are joined on stage by Nicko McBrain or Jon Bon Jovi

Festive Tough Love

If your Christmas tree is naughty, make it stand in the corner for five minutes. It's for its own good.

Hi! We're Muse! Episode 6

More from Teignmouth's most-beloved sons.

Click on the picture to avoid eyestrain!

Great Random Moments In Musical History

No 1: Jay Kay, being escorted from the Brits, pissed, with his hat askew...

The Monday List

Men Who Should Just Put It Away, Because We've All Seen It By Now...

Ewan McGregor
Harvey Keitel
The Red Hot Chili Peppers
Gerard Butler
Billy Connolly
The entire cast of Jackass
Viggo Mortensen
Rhys Ifans
Peter Stringfellow
Gerard Depardieu 

On The Buses – the gritty new 'reimagining'!

If Comedy Is The New Rock 'N' Roll...

...then eccentric is the new boring!

Hi! We're Muse! Episode 5

It's all kicking off in Teignmouth…

Click on the picture to avoid eyestrain!

The Monday List

The Ten Most Clichéd Rock Song Titles
Rescue Me
Without You
The Hunter
Going Down
Is This Love?
Forever
Rock ’n’ Roll Lady
Every Beat Of My Heart
Need Your Love So Bad
I’ve Had Enough

Planet Sad's Tribute To The Prince Valiant Haircut

The following people stand accused of committing GBH - Girly Bobby Haircut. And as long as pudding bowls and blunt scissors are readily available, similar atrocities will continue to occur. Having compiled this list of tonsorial terrors, we're hiding our curling tongs, before we start to be seduced by the idea that looking like Joanna Lumley circa 1976 is actually quite a good idea...

The Prince Valiant: his hair's not bad, it's just drawn that way

The Javier Bardem: are you going to introduce him to Wash and Go?

The Emo Phillips: now you know where Gerard Way gets it from

The Audrey Tautou: because Frenchwomen are so effortlessly chic, non?

The Willy Wonka: because it's all right to have bad hair if you own a chocolate factory

The Joanna Lumley: yes, this really was fashionable once

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Gavin Henson. In his tinfoil suit and Fucko The Clown shoes, he brings shame on Wales.

In his aluminium raiment, he inhabits some kind of sartorial cock hell. See what a bad influence he is upon the youth of today.

The Monday List

People Who Always Look Like They’re About To Cry

Ozzy Osbourne
Michelle Pfeiffer
David Batty
Jason Priestley
Fabrizio Ravanelli
Sally Field
Dan Petrescu
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Paul Deacon, Bradford Bulls
Gerard Way

Amazing Lookalikes!

Graeme Swann and Mary Murphy off So You Think You Can Dance:

So you think you can bowl?

Hi! We're Muse! Episode 4

It's all about The Beautiful Game in Teignmouth this week…

(Click on the pic to avoid eyestrain!)

The Monday List

Five Celebrities Who Accidentally Shot Themselves...

Dani Behr
Dusty Hill
Jon-Erik Hexum
Terry Kath out of Chicago
Plaxico Burress of the New York Giants


And Five Who've Been Accidentally Shot By Someone Else...

Bushwick Bill
Mark Maley
Jon Otsemobor
Jill Sinclair
Norman Owens, Jerry Lee Lewis’ bass player

Hi! We're Muse! Episode 3

More larks from those irrepressible Teignmouth rapscallions...

(Click on the pic to avoid eyestrain!)

The Monday List

The Ten Ugliest Bands In Musical History

REO Speedwagon
Mötley Crüe
Terrorvision
Pantera
Hello
East 17
Great White
The Fall
Motorhead
The Happy Mondays

Amazing Lookalikes!

Derby goalkeeper Stephen Bywater and Gerald, the evil baby from The Simpsons:

One's an expert dribbler, and the other one's the Derby goalkeeper...

Uh-oh, it's JARED LATE-ON!

30 Seconds to AAARGH!

Click on image to avoid eyestrain!

The Monday List

Ten Celebrities Who Look Like Potatoes
Meat Loaf
Steve McFadden
Shannon Leto
Jonathan Ross
Tim Robbins
Bruce Hornsby out of Bruce Hornsby and the Range
Jack Bruce
Alan Osmond
Robert Key
Wayne Rooney

Amazing Lookalikes!

Aro in New Moon, and Jarvis from The Mary Whitehouse Experience

'I used to follow The Damned United… Until they asked me to stop. Oh God!'

Hi! We're Muse! Episode 2

It's those wacky Teignmouth scamps again!
(Click on the picture to avoid eyestrain!)

Utterly Useless Fact Of The Day

No matter what profession you're in, eventually you will find yourself working with someone who looks like one (or, technically, both) of The Proclaimers...

 

Planet Sad's Tribute To Stick-on Eyebrows

Poor, poor Mike Newell. He may have just got the sack at Grimsby, he may have caused the man with the finest thighs in League Two football to put them into hibernation and go play cricket for a living instead, but at least he can console himself with the knowledge that he was the inspiration for our round-up of men who look like they get their eyebrows out of a packet:

The Groucho Marx: available in joke shops next to the exploding cigars

The Alistair Darling: the 'collar doesn't match the cuffs' look

The Danny Baker: also comes with optional Danny Kelly

The Lenny Beige: don't try this at home

The Mike Newell: wear to upset female referee's assistants...

The Monday List

Celebrity Jaffas - Ten People Who Are Suspiciously Orange


Judith Chalmers
George Hamilton
Katie Price
Christiano Ronaldo
Victoria Beckham
Lionel Blair
David Dickinson
Peter Andre
Dale Winton
Gavin Henson

Hi! We're Muse! Episode 1

The hilarious adventures of Teignmouth's most madcap band!
(Click on the picture to avoid eyestrain!)

George, Put It Away, Love

So there we were, feet up in front of Cash In The Attic and just getting stuck into a tub of Miniature Heroes, when the doorbell went. It was George Clooney, of all people. He had his sex ramp under his arm and he asked us whether we fancied 'a go'. 'George,' we said, 'how many times do we have to tell you? Not if you were the last incredibly handsome, self-deprecating, millionaire film star on earth. If you'd brought your inflatable sheep and your tub of Butt Wax, it might have been different. Now be off with you...'

George Clooney, yesterday

After George left Planet Sad Towers, he went over to Wembley Stadium and used the ramp to jump over 14 naked women, breaking the world record of 12 set by Russell Brand in 2006...

Arguably Useful Word That We Made Up

markotoole (noun)

The name of a person, place, object, a fact – or anything, really! – that you're absolutely certain you once knew and it’s on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t for the life of you remember it… Until you finally give up and ask someone, look it up in a book or online, or simply allow your brain to stop trying to recall it. Then, weirdly, it’ll hit you like a bolt of lightning. So called because, in pre-internet days, we spent half an hour desperately trying to think of the name of the bassist in Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Then, as one of us was halfway through dialling a relative to ask, the other blurted out, “Mark O’Toole!”

(PS We accept that The Meaning Of Liff or one of its predecessors may already have a word for this, but this is what we call it. So there!)

Municipal Car Parks Of The Nephilim

Proof that Goth humour doesn't have to be clever or sardonic…

The Monday List

Ten Celebrities Who've Dressed As Bees

Richard Stilgoe
Beryl Reid
Graham Norton
Chris Boardman (and his wife, on a tandem)
Lee Thompson out of Madness
Ron Jeremy
Peaches
Tommy Vance
Jerry Seinfeld
K.T. Tunstall

On Thin Ice, Part Two

The story so far: having rowed naked across the Atlantic to raise money for charity, James Cracknell and Ben Fogle have embarked on a more perilous quest - racing to the South Pole to raise the blood pressure of middle-aged women across Britain. Will they succeed, or will those pesky Norwegians beat them to it?

Now read on... (Click on the pictures to avoid eyestrain!)

Utterly Useless Fact Of The Day

Howard Donald out of Take That is the only man ever to be named after two ducks.

The Monday List

Top Ten Shades For Kelly Osbourne's Hair

1) Distressed Aubergine
2) Furious Carrot
3) Queen Mother’s Teeth
4) Spinach Surprise
5) Elderly Toad
6) Hint Of Haemoglobin
7) Pebbledash
8) Deceased Armadillo
9) I Can’t Believe It’s Not Lady GaGa
10) Jordan's Leisurewear

Egad, It's Hawkwind!

The Monday List

Don't expect lots of regular features on here, as we're busy people at Planet Sad - after all, 60 Minute Makeover isn't going to watch itself - but just to keep you going, here's the first in our series of Monday Lists:

Ten Celebrities Who Look Like Cab Drivers
James Herbert
Ray Winstone
Steve McFadden
Danny Dyer
Howard Marks
Terry Venables
Ian McShane
Martin Amis
Harry Redknapp
Neil Pearson

But don't expect any of them to take you south of the river at this time of night...

Welcome To Planet Sad

Looking for serious debate or informed comment? Well, look elsewhere. Planet Sad is the home of spurious lists, random silliness and the cheese blouse. And to start you off, here's a picture of a puppy that looks like Jack Black.