Amazing Lookalikes!

The Apprentice boardroom casualty Zoe Beresford and John Sykes out of Tygers Of Pan Tang and Whitesnake

She did go to Paris, but by Eurostar, not air. And we're not sure SirLordAlanSugar would approve of "find a rich daddy's girl, use my body to twist her mind, steal her money and leave her behind" as a business strategy.

The Monday List

Ten Things We're Really, Really Bored Of With Wimbledon

Punnets of three strawberries costing a fiver
High pitched, orgasmic grunting after every point, especially from the male players
Speeded-up shots of ground staff pulling the covers on to Centre Court
Cliff Richard providing the entertainment when rain stops play
Cutaway shots of minor celebs in the Royal Box
Cutaway shots of the hot girlfriend of someone ranked 142 in the world
Gurning crowds waving to the camera from Henman Hill
People who predict Andy Murray will choke in the semis
People who predict Andy Murray won't choke in the semis
Boris chuffing Becker

Judy Murray Is Very Disappointed In You

INXS: When Middle-Aged Australians Rock Out!

Rock Stars Who Look Like Dinner Ladies

No 19, Ozzy Osbourne

Let me see your hands! Because if they're not clean, you're not getting any pudding...

The Monday List

Ten Further Overused Pieces Of Background Music

Glory Box - Portishead
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Pass Out - Tinie Tempah
Kids - MGMT
I Predict A Riot - The Kaiser Chiefs
Rolling In The Deep - Adele
Forget You - Cee-lo Green
Bodies - Drowning Pool
The Fear - Lily Allen
Poker Face - Lady Gaga

The Monday List

Ten Things We're Really, Really Bored Of On Reality Talent Shows

Contestants with tragic back stories
One judge always having to be nasty, and one always having to be nice
Amateur chefs who think they can out-swear Gordon Ramsey
People talking endlessly about the 'journey' they're on
Cheryl Cole blubbing like a gurl
The winner releasing a terrible cover version that immediately goes to number one in the charts
Someone with zero talent being kept on the show because they're good for ratings
Judges slaughtering competent performances, then lip-synching shamelessly because 'the dance routine is too energetic to let them sing properly'
An 'agonising' pause of about thirty seconds before they announce who's going through to the next round
Simon chuffing Cowell

Hilarious Cases Of Celebrity Name Confusion Just Waiting To Happen, No1 In A Series Of – Oh, Whatever…

Click on image to avoid eyestrain!

OK, fair enough, it's a bit of an anti-climax after all that build-up.

The Monday List

Ten Once-Ubiquitous Books Nobody Reads Any More

Rubyfruit Jungle
Jaws
Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance
The Rats
Fear Of Flying
Watership Down
The Name Of The Rose
The Women's Room
Lace
Confessions Of A Window Cleaner

Ask Planet Sad

Attila Szabo, 19, of Thamesmead writes: "Hey, Planet Sadsters! Any idea what kind of metal is used to make Nine Inch Nails?"

We're guessing Blue Steel.