Tuesday, 31 December 2013
Great Random Moments In Fashion History
No 16: Cher tries out for the lead role in Pirates of the Caribbean: In Stranger Strides
Monday, 30 December 2013
The Monday List
Ten More Talking Heads Who Are Compulsory On Any Pop Culture Clip Show
Neev
Andrew Collins
Ross Mathews
Patrick Strudwick
Kim Taylor Bennett
Kevin O'Sullivan
Nicola MacLean
Mark Webster
Emma Kennedy
Ted Casablanca
Neev
Andrew Collins
Ross Mathews
Patrick Strudwick
Kim Taylor Bennett
Kevin O'Sullivan
Nicola MacLean
Mark Webster
Emma Kennedy
Ted Casablanca
Wednesday, 25 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 25 December
It's…
CHRISTMAS DAY! We're not displaying the Vs today – but not because of the goodwill to all thing. Sod that guff. It's just that they're out of shot because they were being flicked by us at GEORGE CLOONEY who came round to our HQ disguised as a carol singer in a tragic attempt to wangle a Christmas go. Bad Santa? SAD BANTER, MORE LIKE! Trust us, he was barely through the first line of Hark The Herald Angels Sing before we told him to do one, although we hope he enjoyed the Quality Street toffee pennies we pelted him with as he beat his retreat. Season's greetings to you all! Yes, even you, George…
CHRISTMAS DAY! We're not displaying the Vs today – but not because of the goodwill to all thing. Sod that guff. It's just that they're out of shot because they were being flicked by us at GEORGE CLOONEY who came round to our HQ disguised as a carol singer in a tragic attempt to wangle a Christmas go. Bad Santa? SAD BANTER, MORE LIKE! Trust us, he was barely through the first line of Hark The Herald Angels Sing before we told him to do one, although we hope he enjoyed the Quality Street toffee pennies we pelted him with as he beat his retreat. Season's greetings to you all! Yes, even you, George…
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 24 December
It's…
Sir Winston Churchill! We couldn't really have a V-signs calendar without including Winnie! We’re mildly confused – they say every baby looks like him, but would it be blasphemous to say that about the Little Baby Jesus? Oh well, history will be sad for we intend to write it, but not until we've stuck a mince pie (or failing that a Twixlike chocolate bar we got in a dozen-pack at Everything’s 99p) and a glass of this by the hearth for Santa.
Sir Winston Churchill! We couldn't really have a V-signs calendar without including Winnie! We’re mildly confused – they say every baby looks like him, but would it be blasphemous to say that about the Little Baby Jesus? Oh well, history will be sad for we intend to write it, but not until we've stuck a mince pie (or failing that a Twixlike chocolate bar we got in a dozen-pack at Everything’s 99p) and a glass of this by the hearth for Santa.
Monday, 23 December 2013
The Monday List
Ten Things That Will Inevitably Happen In This Year's Selection Of Hallmark Christmas Movies
A highly driven career woman will learn that work is not more important than friends and family
A kindly old man will turn out to be Santa Claus
Someone will have problems trying to fly/drive back home in time for Christmas
A rich, selfish businessman will learn to put less fortunate people before himself
A woman will put her perfect man on her Christmas list - and he'll appear
Someone will find themselves dealing with the letters children write to Santa
It will snow in a part of the country that never normally gets snow on Christmas Day
Someone will be magically made to relive Christmas day after day till they get it right
A widow/widower will be helped by an angel
The plot of A Christmas Carol will be recycled yet again
A highly driven career woman will learn that work is not more important than friends and family
A kindly old man will turn out to be Santa Claus
Someone will have problems trying to fly/drive back home in time for Christmas
A rich, selfish businessman will learn to put less fortunate people before himself
A woman will put her perfect man on her Christmas list - and he'll appear
Someone will find themselves dealing with the letters children write to Santa
It will snow in a part of the country that never normally gets snow on Christmas Day
Someone will be magically made to relive Christmas day after day till they get it right
A widow/widower will be helped by an angel
The plot of A Christmas Carol will be recycled yet again
sadVent Calendar – 23 December
It's…
Margaret Thatcher! In 2013, the world lost a great and charismatic leader. RIP Nelson Mandela! Er, probably best if we leave it at that…
Margaret Thatcher! In 2013, the world lost a great and charismatic leader. RIP Nelson Mandela! Er, probably best if we leave it at that…
Sunday, 22 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 22 December
It's…
Snooki! When we asked for a couple of satsumas in our stocking, we weren't expecting this. With fingers raised as high her as hemline, the woman who could get legless for New Jersey is reminding us how many minutes of fame she's got left.
Snooki! When we asked for a couple of satsumas in our stocking, we weren't expecting this. With fingers raised as high her as hemline, the woman who could get legless for New Jersey is reminding us how many minutes of fame she's got left.
Saturday, 21 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 21 December
It's…
Some old salt! Shiver me timbers, we didn't expect this response when we asked him if he'd like to suck on a Fisherman's Friend...
Some old salt! Shiver me timbers, we didn't expect this response when we asked him if he'd like to suck on a Fisherman's Friend...
Friday, 20 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 20 December
It's…
Fabio Capello! Yes, the current Russia manager and man who took England to their most recent shoeing at a major tournament. Opposition coaches take note, as we think he's indicating that he'll be playing with two up front at the next World Cup.
Fabio Capello! Yes, the current Russia manager and man who took England to their most recent shoeing at a major tournament. Opposition coaches take note, as we think he's indicating that he'll be playing with two up front at the next World Cup.
Thursday, 19 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 19 December
It's…
Katie Waissel and Frankie Cocozza! Yeah, from The X Factor. She gets in because her name sounds a bit like “Wassail” which is all festive, like, and his sounds a bit like “cock” which… OK, bored with this already. Except he’ll be a shoo-in if we’re ever arsed to do another issue of Grubby. We’re just glad they spent a few of their 15 minutes of fame flicking these Vs so we could put them on our sad little tree.
Katie Waissel and Frankie Cocozza! Yeah, from The X Factor. She gets in because her name sounds a bit like “Wassail” which is all festive, like, and his sounds a bit like “cock” which… OK, bored with this already. Except he’ll be a shoo-in if we’re ever arsed to do another issue of Grubby. We’re just glad they spent a few of their 15 minutes of fame flicking these Vs so we could put them on our sad little tree.
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 18 December
It's…
José Mourinho. Here the Special One hits us with a very special two! Feliz Natal!
José Mourinho. Here the Special One hits us with a very special two! Feliz Natal!
Tuesday, 17 December 2013
Festive Veg Vigilance Urged
When preparing your Brussels sprouts for Christmas dinner, be aware that eminent tattooist Guy Aitchison is fond of sitting inside them. You'll know it's him by all the ink and his magical light-up
T-shirt. He's one of the world's greatest tattoo artists, so it would be a huge loss and a crying shame if he got boiled alive or had a cross cut into his bottom – so do please check those greens first.
sadVent Calendar – 17 December
It's…
David Labrava! Yep, another Son Of Anarchy, but if you object to this Happy chappie being on our tree, you can jolly well tell him yourself. Then you’ll probably die – like, A LOT!
David Labrava! Yep, another Son Of Anarchy, but if you object to this Happy chappie being on our tree, you can jolly well tell him yourself. Then you’ll probably die – like, A LOT!
Monday, 16 December 2013
The Monday List
Ten Comedy Sketch Shows You've Probably Completely Forgotten About
Monkey Trousers
End Of Part One
A Kick Up The Eighties
Naked Video
You Gotta Be Jokin'
Let's Parlez Franglais
The Pink Medicine Show
Ant And Dec Unzipped
No Signal
Three Of A Kind
Monkey Trousers
End Of Part One
A Kick Up The Eighties
Naked Video
You Gotta Be Jokin'
Let's Parlez Franglais
The Pink Medicine Show
Ant And Dec Unzipped
No Signal
Three Of A Kind
sadVent Calendar – 16 December
It's…
Peter Steele! Oh Uncle Peter. Uncle Peter, Uncle Peter, Uncle Peter. Another year gone and here we are mourning your passing once again. But at least you left us with not just several blinding albums but this staunch V to remember you by. [Cue exclamation of “Oooh! Didn't ’e ’ave big ’ands!” followed by a chorus of “My girlfriend's girlfriend, she looks like you. My girlfriend's girlfriend, she flicks Vs too." Etc.]
Peter Steele! Oh Uncle Peter. Uncle Peter, Uncle Peter, Uncle Peter. Another year gone and here we are mourning your passing once again. But at least you left us with not just several blinding albums but this staunch V to remember you by. [Cue exclamation of “Oooh! Didn't ’e ’ave big ’ands!” followed by a chorus of “My girlfriend's girlfriend, she looks like you. My girlfriend's girlfriend, she flicks Vs too." Etc.]
Sunday, 15 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 15 December
It's…
Carrot Top! Yikes! We were going to blame Monsanto for his (ahem!) unusual appearance, but if there’s one way this bugger HASN’T been modified (again, allegedly!) it’s genetically. Put it like this, you wouldn't want to find this carrot nestling between your roasties and sprouts on Christmas Day.
Carrot Top! Yikes! We were going to blame Monsanto for his (ahem!) unusual appearance, but if there’s one way this bugger HASN’T been modified (again, allegedly!) it’s genetically. Put it like this, you wouldn't want to find this carrot nestling between your roasties and sprouts on Christmas Day.
Saturday, 14 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 14 December
It's…
Heather Morris! Heather, alias “Brittany S. Pierce”, alias The Thick One Out Of Glee It's OK To Like, is flagging faaaaaabulously here. Sadly, this image will (allegedly) be fed through AutoGestureTM before being broadcast on TV, meaning it'll show up on the screen as jazz hands. Bah!
Heather Morris! Heather, alias “Brittany S. Pierce”, alias The Thick One Out Of Glee It's OK To Like, is flagging faaaaaabulously here. Sadly, this image will (allegedly) be fed through AutoGestureTM before being broadcast on TV, meaning it'll show up on the screen as jazz hands. Bah!
Friday, 13 December 2013
Happy Birthday, Steve Buscemi!
Yep, Planet Sad's favourite weasel is celebrating today, so we thought we'd join in the festivities with a suitably seasonal shot of him coming to one of his many grisly ends. Yep, it's that woodchipper from Fargo, and all the proof you need that you should wear clean socks in case you have an accident...
sadVent Calendar – 13 December
It's…
Barry Ferguson! Another great example of the Sneaky V (see 3 December for more details). Wee Barry got in a heap of trouble for flashing the fingers while on the subs' bench for Scotland, but in his defence he'd been told the team was up against Iceland so he was merely showing his general contempt for Michael Bublé’s Jingle Bells and king prawn ring.
Barry Ferguson! Another great example of the Sneaky V (see 3 December for more details). Wee Barry got in a heap of trouble for flashing the fingers while on the subs' bench for Scotland, but in his defence he'd been told the team was up against Iceland so he was merely showing his general contempt for Michael Bublé’s Jingle Bells and king prawn ring.
Thursday, 12 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 12 December
It's…
Ton Twelf Ronnies! Twelf Vs a-flicking. Quite possibly our favourite Fast Show moment. That is all.
Ton Twelf Ronnies! Twelf Vs a-flicking. Quite possibly our favourite Fast Show moment. That is all.
Wednesday, 11 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 11 December
It's…
Himself out of the Rubber Bandits! Will they swap their Horse Outside for a reindeer and drop a sack of festive yokes down our chimney? No need, fellas, you've already gifted us with this frankly enormous V! Merry Christmas to yous!
Himself out of the Rubber Bandits! Will they swap their Horse Outside for a reindeer and drop a sack of festive yokes down our chimney? No need, fellas, you've already gifted us with this frankly enormous V! Merry Christmas to yous!
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
Great Random Moments In Fashion History
No 15: Madonna realises too late that going out dressed as the Planet Sad Christmas tree means she'll probably end the evening with Liam Gallagher hanging off her, flicking a V
sadVent Calendar – 10 December
It's…
Viggo Mortensen! Ah, good old Rigor Mortisen. The epitome of manly grubbiness (or grubby manliness – same difference) would have our vote just for being au fait with the Laudrup brothers. But here he's excelling himself by displaying a semi-sneaky V in the gritty movie Eastern Promises. Apparently it's a film about Russian gangsters and not Fry's Turkish Delight, but we know who we'd like to find in our selection box nestled between the Toffee Crisp and the Lion Bar, right, ladies?
No, not you, Clooney. Just sod off, OK?
Viggo Mortensen! Ah, good old Rigor Mortisen. The epitome of manly grubbiness (or grubby manliness – same difference) would have our vote just for being au fait with the Laudrup brothers. But here he's excelling himself by displaying a semi-sneaky V in the gritty movie Eastern Promises. Apparently it's a film about Russian gangsters and not Fry's Turkish Delight, but we know who we'd like to find in our selection box nestled between the Toffee Crisp and the Lion Bar, right, ladies?
No, not you, Clooney. Just sod off, OK?
Monday, 9 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 9 December
It's…
Gwen Stefani! Hollaback Girl? Nope, it's more a case of "Don't speak, we know just what you're saying" when you jab that pair of perfectly manicured digits skywards. And given that you're married to a Brit, we're in No Doubt that you know too.
Gwen Stefani! Hollaback Girl? Nope, it's more a case of "Don't speak, we know just what you're saying" when you jab that pair of perfectly manicured digits skywards. And given that you're married to a Brit, we're in No Doubt that you know too.
The Monday List
Ten More Music Videos That Feature Cheerleaders
Tainted Love - Marilyn Manson
Misery Business - Paramore
Beekeeper's Daughter - All American Rejects
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
Popular - Nada Surf
Give Me All Your Luvin' - Madonna
Destination Unknown - Alex Gaudino
Lucky You - Lightning Seeds
Fantasy - Ms Mr
Death To All But Metal - Steel Panther
Tainted Love - Marilyn Manson
Misery Business - Paramore
Beekeeper's Daughter - All American Rejects
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
Popular - Nada Surf
Give Me All Your Luvin' - Madonna
Destination Unknown - Alex Gaudino
Lucky You - Lightning Seeds
Fantasy - Ms Mr
Death To All But Metal - Steel Panther
Sunday, 8 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 8 December
It's…
Justin Bieber! "Biebster" has been going off the rails in this past year, getting into such scrapes as having a pet monkey confiscated, turning up to gigs hours late, flobbing off a hotel balcony on to his adoring fans and participating in various instances of unarmed Canadian hitting. We have it on authority that his behaviour became erratic after Wendy Craig turned up from the 1980s demanding her hairstyle back. And her retaliation when he told her a two-fingered no wasn't pretty.
Justin Bieber! "Biebster" has been going off the rails in this past year, getting into such scrapes as having a pet monkey confiscated, turning up to gigs hours late, flobbing off a hotel balcony on to his adoring fans and participating in various instances of unarmed Canadian hitting. We have it on authority that his behaviour became erratic after Wendy Craig turned up from the 1980s demanding her hairstyle back. And her retaliation when he told her a two-fingered no wasn't pretty.
Saturday, 7 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 7 December
It's…
George Bush Sr! Reacting to a "will you be boking up on your Christmas dinner this year?" wisecrack. Probably.
George Bush Sr! Reacting to a "will you be boking up on your Christmas dinner this year?" wisecrack. Probably.
Friday, 6 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 6 December
It's…
Billy Casper out of Kes! Now, this is your classic Northern salt of the earth, working class, that's what I think of you and your chuffin' whippets V. None of your poncy southern Chardonnay-swilling V-signs round here, chum. Or alternatively, those fingers are just being raised so a kestrel can land on them...
Billy Casper out of Kes! Now, this is your classic Northern salt of the earth, working class, that's what I think of you and your chuffin' whippets V. None of your poncy southern Chardonnay-swilling V-signs round here, chum. Or alternatively, those fingers are just being raised so a kestrel can land on them...
Thursday, 5 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 5 December
It's…
Tig Trager! Vicious killer and colossal pervert he may be, but Sons Of Anarchy's Tiggy – played by Saskatoon's own Kim Coates – is strangely lovable. And a V this rigid should be outlawed!
Tig Trager! Vicious killer and colossal pervert he may be, but Sons Of Anarchy's Tiggy – played by Saskatoon's own Kim Coates – is strangely lovable. And a V this rigid should be outlawed!
Wednesday, 4 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 4 December
It's…
Liam Gallagher! Oh dear, looks like someone reminded Our Kid that Spinal Tap aren't a real band. Or stuck an All Saints CD in his Christmas stocking. Oh well, at least when he looks back in anger it's with a solid V raised high and proud.
Liam Gallagher! Oh dear, looks like someone reminded Our Kid that Spinal Tap aren't a real band. Or stuck an All Saints CD in his Christmas stocking. Oh well, at least when he looks back in anger it's with a solid V raised high and proud.
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
sadVent Calendar – 3 December
It's…
Huey Morgan! Here, the multimedia personality and Fun-Lovin' Criminal is introducing the concept of the accidental – or, as we like to think of it – Sneaky V in which blatant rudery is passed off as an attempt to scratch an itchy nose or check on the progress of one's burgeoning five-a-side tache. As far as we're concerned a V is a V, so flick it however you like, Huey – you still win a Scooby snack. (All Planet Sad houseguests get a lucky dip into our tin of Minature Heroes. You may get a chocolate or you may come out with the wrapper-covered stone out of an Eat Me date. You have been warned.)
Monday, 2 December 2013
The Monday List
Ten Bands Who Are Named After Songs
Stiff Little Fingers
Death Cab For Cutie
Motorhead
All Time Low
Jet
Right Said Fred
Funeral For A Friend
Sisters Of Mercy
Deacon Blue
Madness
Stiff Little Fingers
Death Cab For Cutie
Motorhead
All Time Low
Jet
Right Said Fred
Funeral For A Friend
Sisters Of Mercy
Deacon Blue
Madness
sadVent Calendar – 2 December
It's…
Harvey Smith! Matt's is not the most famous flicking of a V by a Smith – that honour goes to horseman Harvey who flashed this beauty back in 1971, and for a while at least a V was known by many as a "Harvey Smith". He claimed at the time it was a victory sign, but we know what we think. And either way, we (two-fingered) salute you, Harvs!
Harvey Smith! Matt's is not the most famous flicking of a V by a Smith – that honour goes to horseman Harvey who flashed this beauty back in 1971, and for a while at least a V was known by many as a "Harvey Smith". He claimed at the time it was a victory sign, but we know what we think. And either way, we (two-fingered) salute you, Harvs!
Sunday, 1 December 2013
Happy sadVent!
Yes, try not to wet yourselves in excitement but we're doing the Sadvent Calendar again – and this time it will feature people flicking V-signs. And as Doctor Who has become a Christmas tradition, we're kicking off with…
MATT SMITH! Apparently he was sending Vs by (rubbish) satellite link the way of One Direction. Rather than just giggling childishly while calling them One Erection. Hahahahahaha.
(Click on the picture to avoid eyestrain. Well, to minimise it, anyway!)
MATT SMITH! Apparently he was sending Vs by (rubbish) satellite link the way of One Direction. Rather than just giggling childishly while calling them One Erection. Hahahahahaha.
(Click on the picture to avoid eyestrain. Well, to minimise it, anyway!)
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