The Monday List

Ten Rejected Names For Wetherspoon Pubs
The Moon Out Of The Window
The Moon's A Balloon
The Everyone's Gone To The Moon
The Keith Moon's Roller Under Water
The Killing Moon
The Moon Landings Were Faked
The Daphne Moon Off Of Frasier
The Moonbase Alpha
The Dark Side Of The Moon
The Moon and Firkin

The Monday List

The Ten Albums On The Planet Sad Gramophone This Christmas

And Christmas For All: The Holiday Tribute To Metallica - Wreck The Halls
Hung For The Holidays - William Hung
Glad Tidings: Mrs Mills' Christmas Party
A Merry Mancini Christmas - Henry Mancini
Christmas Jollies - The Salsoul Orchestra
Christmas With The Brady Bunch
Yuletide Disco - Mirror Image

Ren & Stimpy's Crock O'Christmas
Ho Ho Ho - RuPaul
John Denver And The Muppets: A Christmas Together

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 17 December

It's…

Penn & Teller & Slipknot!
No idea what's going on here aside from the obvious Thothing, but we reckon it's the clown one backstage at Bullshit! or something. How terribly festive, eh, readers?

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 16 December

It's…

Peter Steele!

Oh, Uncle Peter… why did you have to leave us? More to the point, why didn't you pose for a picture throwing the horns before you popped your size-17 clogs? A V-sign will have to do for now. Season's greetings, tall bugger. x

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 15 December

It's…

Gwen Stefani!
No doubt (yes, we went there…) this shot was taken on an ill-advised pub crawl, during which G-Stef would have warned her Harajuku Girls to avoid blokes called Gavin because they are the devil. We disagree – they're not Satanic, they just BRING SHAME ON WALES.

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. When we said we liked a husky gentleman, we were thinking Parks & Rec-era Chris Pratt.

The Monday List

Ten Films/TV Shows That Borrow The Plot of The Gift of the Magi

Gifts For Christmas
Love's Surprises Are Futile
Mickey's Once Upon A Christmas
The Gift Of Love
Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas
The Sacrifice
Christmas On Sesame Street
Gift For The Living
Raincoat
The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 14 December

It's…

Pope Francis and Archbishop Antonio Tagle! Apparently it means "I love you" in the Philippines – metal as eff! Nice one, Francis – although we're still hoping for a Scandinavian Pope to be elected at some point, just because of how "Urbi et Orbi" would sound in the accent.

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 13 December

It's…

Dave Mustaine! 
Because there's nothing we like better in the run-up to Christmas than to snuggle up under a tatty old Slanket sipping a cup of Dave Mustaine Coffee. Which inevitably leads to dreams of being abandoned outside a pub and forced to scrap with "Junior" Ellefson over pop and crisps. May your coffee be Thothy, everyone.

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 12 December

It's…

Katy Perry! 
She Thothed a girl, and she liked it, apparently.

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 11 December

It's…

Peter Dinklage!
He goes up to 11. Face it, you'll never be this cool, will you?

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 10 December

It's…

Guy Fieri! 
We once read an article that attempted to disparage Guy by likening him to one of the Biker Mice From Mars. Well, you know what? We actually WANTED a Biker Mouse From Mars for Christmas when they were the in thing, and we would have got one too, except we ended up choosing the Street Shark that looks like Pete Steele instead. But, as we settle down to our Christmas dinner of Quavers seasoned with turkey gravy powder, we'd give anything for a taste of Triple D. All very well in hindsight, isn't it?

The Street Shark that looks like Pete Steele.
Can't cook, won't cook.
Twat.

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 9 December

It's…

Dustin Hoffman!
With Anvil xxxxxxxxxxxx.

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 8 December

It's…

Celine Dion!
From Dio to Dion! Poor Celine's had a tough time of it this past year, what with all the worries aboot her husband, The Wizard Rene Angelil. We wish them well, and one thing we know – near, far, wherever she are, we know that her Thoth will go on. Her Thoth will go on and on.

The Monday List

Son Of Ten More Music Videos That Feature Horses


Candy - Robbie Williams
Growing On Me - The Darkness
Diamonds - Rhianna
Heartline - Robin George
I Could Be The One - Anicii vs Nicky Romero
Heart - Pet Shop Boys
Blue Orchid - White Stripes
Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something
Swerve City - Deftones
Living On The Ceiling - Blancmange

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 7 December

It's…

 

Ronnie James Dio!

Shown actual size. Hahahahahahaha.

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 6 December

It's…

Tiny, tiny Justin Bieber!

He (and us) would like to wish a merry Christmas to all the lesbians who look like him.

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 5 December

It's…

Charlie Brooker!
Yes, Charlie's made it into the calendar for a second successive year. And call us astute, but we believe he still may have children...

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 4 December

It's…

Sir Alfred Hitchcock!
Leytonstone's finest export (sorry, David Beckham and Jonathan Ross, but you know it's true) is the second knight of the realm caught flashing the devil horns on our Sadvent tree. Of course, there's a possibility he was having problems with his hand swearing and was actually trying to flip someone The Bird(s)...

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 3 December

It's…

George Dubya Bush!
Because we have no political bias. Or because we found the picture and we're not fussy, so he's in. Whatever.

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 2 December

It's…

Barack Obama! 
Thoths, Obama.

Caretaker Managers Who Look Like Maths Teachers

No 1: Karel Fraeye, Charlton

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 1 December

It's…

Sir Christopher Lee!

Yes, it's that time of year again, and having exhausted our supply of festive ADGE and Vs (well, for now, at least…) we've turned our hands to the throwing of horns – or, as we know it, THOTHING. (Don't ask…)

To kick things off, we're paying tribute to a film (and music) legend in the truest sense of the word. Sod Star Wars, LOTR and The Wicker Man, and even his heavy metal album about Charlemagne – we love him because he once sang about GIRL DRINKS. Farewell, Sir Christopher – Planet Sad misses you lots, like whisky tots.

Name Your Poison

The Monday List

Ten More Authors Who Are Namechecked In Song Lyrics
Charles Dickens (Every Picture Tells A Story, Rod Stewart)
Virginia Woolf (Virginia Woolf, Indigo Girls)
Jack Kerouac (Hey, Jack Kerouac, 10,000 Maniacs)
Stephen King (Shamrocks and Shenanigans, House of Pain)
Barbara Cartland (The Day Before You Came, Blancmange)
John Donne (Rave On, John Donne, Van Morrison)
Oscar Wilde (Oscar Wilde, Company Of Thieves)
John Keats (Cemetery Gates, The Smiths)
Harold Pinter (Faster, Manic Street Preachers)
Graham Greene (Graham Greene, John Cale)

The Monday List

Ten Hand-tools That Sound Like Nu-Metal Bands
Jabsaw
Combination Shavehook
Impact Drill
Brad Nailer
G Clamp
Pushpin
Hex Breaker
Jack Plane
Glue Gun
Basin Wrench

The Monday List

Ten People You Completely Forgot Were On I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here
Catalina Guirado
John Burton Race
Diane Modahl
Scott Henshall
Chris Bisson
Brian Paddick
Limahl
Kayla Collins
Darren Day
Crissy ROck

The Monday List

Ten Pairs of Music Videos That Share A Common Location


Like A Virgin (Madonna) and Dear Prudence (Siouxsie and the Banshees) - Venice
I'm Already Gone (A Day To Remember) and Midnight Memories (One Direction) - River Thames
Mrs Robinson (Lemonheads) and Lightning Bolt (Jake Bugg) - Amsterdam
A View To A Kill (Duran Duran) and Someone Like You (Adele) - Paris
Big Time Sensuality (Bjork) and What's Love Got To Do With It? (Tina Turner) - New York
Never Tear Us Apart (INXS) and Numb (Linkin Park) - Prague
Motorcycle Emptiness (Manic Street Preachers) and Panic Station (Muse) - Tokyo
Stay (Faraway, So Close!) (U2) and Prayer In C (Lilly Wood) - Berlin
Soak Up The Sun (Sheryl Crow) and I'm Yours (Jason Mraz) - Oahu
My Immortal (Evanescence) and Slow (Kylie Minogue) - Barcelona

The Monday List

Ten Cookery Programmes You've Probably Completely Forgotten AboutChefs: Put Your Menu Where Your Mouth Is
Take On The Takeaway
Get Stuffed
The Delicious Miss Dahl
Cook Me The Money
Neneh & Andi Dish It Up
Farmhouse Kitchen
More Rhodes Around Britain
Eggs 'n' Baker
Hot Chefs

Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day

Here's Vin 'My Middle Names Are Ridiculous And Manly' Diesel trying not to let his hay fever get the better of him in a still from The Last Witch Hunter. Personally, we'd like to see him in The Last Which? Hunter, where he rampages through every newsagents' shop in the Home Counties in search of Britain's favourite consumer advice magazine...

The Monday List

Ten Reality Shows We Really Want To See
Courtney Love Island
The Real Housewives Of Northampton
Dancing On Quicksand
Celebrity Are You Drunker Than A Ten-Year-Old?
My Big Fat Gypsy Embarrassing Bodies
America's Next Top Model Railway
Toddlers & Piranhas
Britain's Got Show-offs
You're A Celebrity... Get Some Dignity
Creeping Up On The Kardashians

The Monday List

Ten More TV Shows That Surprisingly Have Their Own Board Game
Sons Of Anarchy
The Love Boat
Baywatch
Grizzly Adams
M*A*S*H
Space: 1999
Dexter
ALF
Laverne & Shirley
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

The Monday List

A Further Ten Great Tribute Act Names
Fell Out Boy
ZZ Tap
The Small Fakers
Well Spacious D
Maybe Gaga
Faux Fighters
Amy Housewine
Lets Zeppelin
Wrong Jovi
Paramore Or Less

Matt Damon Is Very Disappointed In You... On Mars

Amazing "Coming Out Of Their Shell" Lookalikes!

Yes, it's... CSI: Miami's David Caruso, double Tour de France winner Chris Froome and a tortoise. At least two of the three are currently in hibernation, but could be tempted into activity by waving a nice, juicy lettuce leaf under their nose.

The Monday List

Ten Rejected Flavours For Cup-a-Soup
Cream of Sludge
Salt and Vinegar
Mechanically Recovered Beef Broth
Leek-a-cockie
Pea and Stoat
Look Ma, No E-Numbers!
Hint Of Stock Cube
Whelk Bisque
Tomato-Coloured Gloop
I Can't Believe It's Not Tapwater

The Monday List

Ten More Professionally Gobby Celebrities
Jeremy Clarkson
Katie Hopkins
Kerry Katona
Nick Ferrari
Lowri Turner
Charlotte Crosby off of Geordie Shore
Janet Street-Porter
Adrian Durham
Edwina Currie
Robbie Savage

Great Random Moments In Musical History

No 14: Too late, Beirut realise that calling their album 'No No No' is exactly what everyone is going to think when they see this shot of the band going for that 'endearingly awkward' vibe...

The Monday List

The Ten Best Beer Names From The De Molen Brewery
Hel & Verdomenis (Hell & Damnation)
Vuur & Vlam (Fire & Flame)
Spanning & Sensatie (Thrills & Spills)
Licht & Lustig (Light & Lustful)
Bloed Zweet & Tranen (Blood Sweat & Tears)
Mooi & Meedogenloos (Beautiful & Ruthless)
Hemel & Aarde (Heaven & Earth)
Bommen & Granaten (Bombs & Grenades)
Rook & Vuur (Smoke & Fire)
Lief & Lied (Love & Sorrow)

The Monday List

Ten More Music Videos That Feature Men In Drag
I Feel Like Dancing - All Time Low
Living On The Edge - Aerosmith
Our House - Madness
Read My Mind - The Killers
Everlong - Foo Fighters
The Great Pretender - Freddie Mercury
Save It For The Bedroom - You Me At Six
Boys Keep Swinging - David Bowie
The French Song - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Without Me - Eminem

Former Cast Members Of CSI: Miami Who Look Like Dinner Ladies

No 1 in a series of (removes sunglasses) YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!: David Caruso

The Adge Files

Sideburns? Sideburns are rubbish!

The Monday List

Ten Signs That You're The Heroine Of A Lifetime Movie
Your children's nanny is trying to kill you because she's obsessed with your husband
The nice man you've just met online is actually a deranged stalker
The shy new friend you've made at school totally wants to take over your life and become
you
Your oldest and closest friend is trying to kill you because she's obsessed with your husband
Someone you think you can trust has emailed a fake porn clip of you to everyone you know in an attempt to ruin your life
Your morally upstanding husband is about to be unmasked as a serial rapist
The woman carrying your surrogate child is trying to kill you because she's obsessed with
your husband
The police are ignoring all your suspicions that you're being stalked/terrorised in your own home/about to be murdered
You've discover your husband has a secret love child who is determined to destroy your family
The mousy secretary at your husband's law firm is trying to kill you because she's obsessed with your husband

The Monday List

Ten TV Music Programmes You've Probably Completely Forgotten About


Supersonic
Alright Now
Tim Lovejoy And The Allstars
Revolver
Fanfare With Flintlock
Razzamatazz
The O-Zone
Get It Together
The White Room
Rock Goes To College

Amazing "Back To The Future" Lookalikes!

Yes, it's everyone's favourite time travelling teen, Marty McFly, and Patrick Bamford, who spent last season on loan in Middlesbrough, a town where some may say it's still 1985. And whoever did all that dodgy Michael J. Fox fan art we had to wade through while looking for this picture, thanks. We're off to scrub our eyeballs now...

The Monday List

Ten People You Completely Forgot Went On Celebrity Big Brother
Germaine Greer
'The Situation' off Jersey Shore
Donny Tourette
Lisa I'Anson
Andrew Stone off of Pineapple Dance Studios
Lady Sovereign
Kenzie out of Blazing Squad
Samantha Brick
Faria Alam
Ken Russell

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 7: a fireman. insert your own 'supplies his own hose' joke here

The Monday List

Ten Actors With Their Own Bands
Russell Crowe (Thirty Foot Odd Of Grunts)
Juliette Lewis (Juliette And The Licks)
Keanu Reeves (Dogstar)
Ryan Gosling (Dead Man's Bones)
Jared Leto (Thirty Seconds To Mars)
Adrian Edmondson (The Bad Shepherds)
Dennis Quaid (The Sharks)
Zooey Deschanel (She & Him)
Jason Schwartzman (Phantom Planet)
Rhys Ifans (The Peth)

Amazing 'Down In The Park' Lookalikes!

Yes, it's... one of the Goths from South Park and Jean-Ralphio off Parks and Recreation. It's a lookalike that's so non-conformist it 's going to conform, per se...

The Monday List

Ten Things That Will Happen In Every Episode Of A Real Housewives Of... Show
There will be a massive fight which ends with someone throwing a glass of wine over
someone else
After said massive fight, there will be several self-justifying monologues to camera about
why it happened
There will be a black and white flashback to a massive fight that happened in a previous
episode
Someone will cry in a photogenic fashion without smudging their mascara
People will apologise without meaning a word of it
Someone's husband will be shown looking like a huge chump who's barely able to tie his own shoelaces
One of the housewives will tell another one how fearless and what a beautiful person they
are
Someone will break down while talking about their struggle with drugs and/or alcohol
There will be another massive fight in a restaurant which someone will walk out of halfway
through
There will be a teaser for the massive fight that happens in the next episode

The Monday List

Ten More Default Answers In Any Episode Of Pointless
Tuvalu
Charlotte Dujardin
Europium
Dover Beach
King Harold of Norway
Cate Blanchett
Lou Macari
Côte d’Ivoire
Ann Boleyn
Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind

Matt Dillon Is Very Disappointed In You

Presumably because you can't cook a burger to save your life...

The Monday List

Ten Reality Shows You've Probably Completely Forgotten About


The Mole
Streetmate
Princess Nikki
Make Me A Supermodel
There's Something About Miriam
WAGs Boutique
Love Shaft
Gay, Straight Or Taken?
Tool Academy
Dumped

Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day

To the untrained eye, this may look like our go-to guy for all things ridiculously manly (shirtless and oiled-up in a garage division) Jason Statham in a shot from The Expendables 2. Actually, it's taken from his audition tape for the presenter's job on One Man And His Dog And An Unfeasibly Large Shotgun. We hear John Craven beat him to the part, but then we wouldn't mess with John Craven...

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 6: a chef. NB This is what happens just before that plate of soup you've returned comes back from the kitchen.

The Monday List

Ten Music Videos That Feature Ron Jeremy
American Badass - Kid Rock
The Plot to Bomb The Panhandle - A Day To Remember
Sexy And I Know It - LFMAO
Date Rape - Sublime
Party Like Tomorrow is The End of the World - Steel Panther
We Are All Made Of Stars - Moby
This Is What It Feels Like - Armin van Buuren
10 Miles Wide - Escape The Fate
Something For Joey - Mercury Rev
The Boys Are Back in Town - Everclear

Sir Patrick Stewart Is Very Disappointed In You

And if it's because you dissed his fabby lobster costume, then frankly so are we. You git.

The Monday List

Ten More Pieces Of Overused Background Music (Reprise)

M83 - Midnight City
The Heavy - What Makes A Good Man? 
Feeling - Fill My Little World
Bruno Mars - Runaway Baby 
Woodkid - Run Boy Run 
The Transplants - Diamonds and Guns
Sara Bareilles - Brave
John Newman - Love Me Again
Katy Perry - Firework
American Authors - Best Day Of My Life

The Monday List

Ten More Book Genres We're Really, Really Bored Of


Trilogies about conflicted billionaires who do kinky sex
Chick-lit novels about women who own cupcake shops
Young adult novels about a teenager who's different and special set in a dystopian future
Detective series set in a bizarrely specific region of Britain
Diet books with recipes seemingly designed for people who don't like food
Tell-all celebrity autobiographies that actually leave out the juiciest stuff
self-help books designed to help inadequate men pick up women who are out of their league
Self-help books designed to help inadequate women convince themselves they're worthy of men who are out of their league
Dinosaur porn
Magical chuffing realism

Rock Stars Who Look Like Dinner Ladies

No 32: Colin Blunstone

The Monday List

Ten Girl Bands You've Probably Completely Forgotten About


Cleopatra
The Reynolds Girls
Vanilla
Love Bites
Precious
Girl Thing
Shampoo
Faith Hope and Charity
Oral
Made In London

Great Random Moments In Fashion History

No 23: This is either the last thing a young Atzec child saw before their heart was cut out in sacrifice to the feathered serpent god, Quetzalcoatl, or Kylie Minogue.

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 5: we honestly haven't got a clue. One of Slipknot, possibly?

Amazing "Eyes Down For A Full House" Lookalikes!

It's... that bloke off the Winner Bingo advert (you know, the one who looks like he's done a LOT of porn) and John Helliwell, the saxophone player out of Supertramp. And if making irritatingly cheesy adverts for online bingo isn't the crime of the century, then it ought to be...

The Monday List

Ten Musicians And Their Often Frankly Bizarre Alter Egos


David Bowie - Ziggy Stardust
Prince - Christopher
Mary J Blige - Brooke Lynn
Eminem - Slim Shady
Garth Brooks - Chris Gaines
David Johansen - Buster Poindexter
Lady Gaga - Joe Calderone
Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot
Bono - Mr MacPhisto
Beyonce - Sasha Fierce

The Adge Files

For the past few days, Planet Sad has been watching ITV 4's fabby coverage of the Isle of Man TT races and playing our usual drinking game for the event (take one shot when they mention the Ramsey Hairpin, two shots every time you wonder what happened to Craig Doyle's prime-time TV career). And while we've already paid tribute to the Adge being sported by current racer Guy Martin, we couldn't let the week slip by without bringing you this shot of the legend that is Joey Dunlop and his marvellously un-aerodynamic face fungus. You can almost feel those sidies bristling as he breezed past the Bungalow...

The Monday List

The Ten Self-Help Books We Really Want To Read


Women Who Love Themselves Too Much
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From A Different Part Of Mars
Chicken Soup For The Soulless
He's Not As Into You As You're Into You
Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Couldn't Be Arsed To Find Out
Who Cut My Cheese?
Feel The Fear And Go Back Inside The House
The Seven Habits Of Highly Ineffective People
Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, F*** Like A Beast
What To Expect When You're Expecting Everyone To Be Interested In Every Last Chuffing Detail Of Your Chuffing Pregnancy

The Monday List

Ten TV Shows That Surprisingly Have Their Own Board Game
Home And Away
Battlestar Galactica
Deadliest Catch
Colditz
Saturday Night Live
The Fall Guy
On The Buses
Desperate Housewives
Murder, She Wrote
Cheers

The Monday List

A Mad, Mad Cannonball Rat Race In Their Flying Machines: Aerial Edition

Look to the skies! The Planet Sad Bank Holiday movie chase sequence returns yet again - only this time the action (such as it is) is taking place in the air. Sinking swiftly to earth are:
Some magnificent men in their flying machines, obviously
The Millenium Falcon
Concorde, which is of course much smaller in real life than people expect
A couple joining the Mile High Club in the first class toilets
Dumbo, holding a mouse in military jacket in his trunk
The Red Arrows, dispensing red, white and blue smoke as they go
Airwolf
George Clooney and Sandra Bullock, stranded somewhere above the earth because their spaceship's floated away, crying
The Montgolfier Brothers in their hot air balloon
Jimbo out of Jimbo and the Jet SetHarry Potter on his broomstick, doing something involving quidditch, probably
The Spruce Goose, piloted by fat-faced manchild Leonardo diCaprio
An air stewardess who's taken over at the controls because the flight crew have all got food poisoning
Scooch, dressed unamusingly as flight attendants and getting nul points in the Eurovision Song Contest, crying
The Red Max in the Crimson Haybailer
A flying saucer which could just be a hubcap dangling from a piece of string
Thunderbird 2
Sabrina the Teenage Witch on her flying vacuum cleaner
A Zeppelin
Led Zeppelin on their private jet, then
Bruce Dickinson out of Iron Maiden, showing off the fact he's got a pilot's licence, while fencing and writing a novel at the same time, probably
Everyone who's ever tried to fly via Ryanair, waiting in the departure lounge because the plane never turned up, crying

The Monday List

Ten More Bands Named After Fictional Characters
T'Pau
Fall Out Boy
Billy Talent
Artful Dodger
Mallory Knox
Aiden
The Fratellis
Rolo Tomassi
McFly
Huggy Bear

The Monday List

Ten More Animated Music Videos (That Still Aren't Take On Me or Sledgehammer)
Wordy Rappinghood - Tom Tom Club
Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
Land of Confusion - Genesis
The Masterplan - Oasis
Make Luv - Room 5 Featuring Oliver Cheatham
Accidents Will Happen - Elvis Costello
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me - U2
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
Love Rollercoaster - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Wag The Dog - George Michael

The Monday List

Ten Game Shows You've Probably Completely Forgotten About
Interceptor
Divided
Shafted
Man O Man
Friends Like These
Memory Bank
Bognor or Bust
That's Showbusiness
Catchword
100% Sex

The Monday List

Ten More Bands That Are Named After Films
Fine Young Cannibals
Dirty Pretty Things
The Mission
My Bloody Valentine
BMX Bandits
Godspeed You! Black Emperor
The Damned
Vixen
Black Sabbath
Killdozer

The Monday List

Ten Surprisingly Famous Film Directors Who've Made TV Ads
Wim Wenders (Stella Artois)
Darren Aronovfky (Yves Saint Laurent)
Spike Jonze (Adidas)
Nicolas Winding Refn (H&M)
David Lynch (Sony Playstation)
Wes Anderson (American Express)
Baz Lurhman (Chanel No 5)
David Fincher (Apple)
Tom Hooper (Jaguar)
Martin Scorsese (Dolce & Gabbana)

The Adge Files

Historical naval epics are compelled by law to teem with extravagant facial hair, and to prove it, here's Paul Bettany being outacted by his Adge in Master And Commander: Far Side Of The World. (And yes, we are just being catty because they never made a sequel. Here at Sad Towers we have a fondness for a good salty tar...)

The Monday List

Ten People With Unnecessary Punctuation In Their Names
Ke$ha
Je'Caryous Johnson
India.arie
Mo'Nique
will.i.am
P!nk
Des'Ree
?uestlove
Elliot S! Maggin
Travi$ Scott

Great Random Moments In Fashion History

No 22: Madonna realises she hasn't been featured on Planet Sad looking daft for ages, so turns up at the Grammys looking daft...

Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day

This is either Sean Penn being ridiculously manly in a film still from The Gunman or his reaction to the news that Madonna fell down some steps at the Brits and did herself a mischief. You decide.

The Monday List

Ten Films That Have A Lot More Sequels Than You'd Expect
Hellraiser
Home Alone
Puppet Master
Air Bud
The Devil in Miss Jones
The Amityville Horror
The Howling
Children of the Corn
Black Emmanuelle
Beethoven

Christopher Walken Is Very Disappointed In You

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 4: Elvis (fried squirrel and peanut butter sandwich not pictured)

The Adge Files

Timothy Spall takes his substantial sidies and big bottom lip out for a walk in the English countryside and ponders why Mr Turner didn't win the Oscar for Best Supporting Adge...

The Monday List

Ten More Music Videos That Feature Horses
Vienna - Ultravox
Animal - Def Leppard
Earthbeat - The Slits
The Best - Tina Turner
New Ceremony - Dry The River
Buffalo Soldiers - Bob Marley
Black And White - Michael Jackson
No One Does It Better - You Me At Six
Alone - Heart
Joan of Arc - OMD

Great Random Moments In Musical History

No 13: Geoff Downes out of Buggles wears that hat for a bet, probably, and inadvertently gives five-year-old Victoria Beckham the idea of dressing like Inspector Gadget...

The Monday List

Ten Songs That Feature Countries In Their Titles
Panama - Van Halen
Cambodia - Kim Wilde
Visions Of China - Japan
Big In Japan - Alphaville
Australia - Manic Street Preachers
English Kids In America - Lower Than Atlantis
Going To Brazil - Motorhead
Tour de France - Kraftwerk
Oh England My Lionheart - Kate Bush
Don't Cry For Me Argentina - Madonna

The Monday List

Ten Acts Who Have Songs Featuring Their Name In The Title
Bo Diddley
Motorhead
Jilted John
Bad Company
Living In A Box
Iron Maiden
Visage
Black Sabbath
Talk Talk
S'Express

The Monday List

The Next Ten Series Of American Horror Story, Probably
American Horror Story: Foreclosure
American Horror Story: Wal-mart
American Horror Story: Traffic Jam
American Horror Story: Obesity
American Horror Story: Miami
American Horror Story: Spartacus
American Horror Story: 2 Horror 2 Story
American Horror Story: Sharknado
American Horror Story: Electric Boogaloo
American Horror Story: Kardashians

The Monday List

Ten Celebrities Who Look Like They Cut Their Own Hair
Ann Widdicombe
Rickie Lambert
Shia LeBeouf
Bob Geldof
Miley Cyrus
Boris Johnson
Adrian Chiles
Gerry Francis
Kristen Stewart
Jeremy Clarkson

The Monday List

Ten Music Videos That Feature Dwarves
To The Hilt - Die Krupps
Sex Dwarf - Soft Cell
Love In An Elevator - Aerosmith
Man Overboard - Blink 182
The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang
All I Want Is You - U2
The Whole World - Outkast
The Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
Call of the Wild - Deep Purple
Beatfreakz - Somebody's Watching Me

The Monday List

The Ten Most Manly Craig McLachlan Character Names - No, Seriously...
The Whip
Ed Russell
Dutch Holland
Steve McNamara
Jack Skidder
Clifford Bosworth
Kane Morgan
Stuart Diver
Hayden Bradley
Grant Mitchell (not that Grant Mitchell)

The Monday List

Ten Things We're Really, Really Bored Of In Music Videos
Bands singing while walking down the street accompanied by a growing gaggle of fans
Liquid flying up when the drummer hits their snare drum/cymbal
A number of female crotches gyrating towards the camera that is inversely proportional to the quality of the song in question
Faceless Swedish DJs performing to a crowd in a venue the size of an aircraft hangar
Amy Lee out of Evanescence singing underwater with her mascara all smeared
Bands performing in the middle of the Nevada desert for no apparent reason
People walking/dancing/driving around in cars in slow motion
Acting cameos by Stephen Graham
Lens flare
Robin chuffing Thicke

Great Random Moments In Fashion History - Revisited

Perez Hilton and his shower cap leave the Big Brother house in defeat:

Amazing 'Stay Hubble' Lookalikes!

Yes, it’s... P.J. Boudousqué out of Ascension (shut up, some of us watched it) and England cricketer Stuart Broad. Mind you, if Broad really did believe he’d been on board a spaceship from the 1960s it would explain some of his recent bowling…