The Monday List

Ten Things That Will Be Over In 2026

Barrel-leg jeans

The everything shower

Romantasy

Labubu dolls

Dubai chocolate

Midaxi dresses

Pedro Pascal

BuzzBallz cocktails

Biscoff-flavoured whatever

And, of course, The Kardashians

Happy Planet Sad Christmas

 

Korean boy band members - they're sweet, polite, and you can take them home and shag them introduce them to your mother, right? Well, maybe not if they're Kim Taehyung out of BTS, who is celebrating Christmas in the traditional Planet Sad manner by whipping out a sneaky V for the ladies. Meli keuliseumaseu, as they say in Seoul (we're guessing, we just looked it up on Google Translate and hoped for the best...)

Planet Sad Brings You A Beloved Children's Classic For Christmas

 

The Monday List

The Tinsel-Decorated Return Of Ten Things We're Really, Really Bored Of Seeing On Christmas TV

Anyone parodying Andrew Lincoln holding up a series of heartfelt messages in Love Actually

Aldi's adverts featuring the latest tedious instalment in the adventures of Kevin the Carrot

BBC 1 showing Christmas Top of the Pops even though no one cares about the UK Top 40 any more

Christmas Day episodes of soap operas that feature fights over the dinner table and at least one gruesome murder

Seasonal episodes of popular programmes that were clearly filmed in August

Anything that borrows from the plot of The Gift of The Magi

People stepping outside to see snow falling and a brass band playing Silent Night

Adverts for cheap summer package holidays

Endless repeats of Blackadder's Christmas Carol and old Only Fools and Horses Christmas specials

Mrs Brown's chuffing Boys

The Adge Files

 

Plucked from the casebook of Planet Sad's paranormal face furniture investigators, here we see what happens when The Thin White Duke meets The Fat Triangular Adge...

The Monday List

Ten More Films That Are Heavily Endebted To The Plot Of A Christmas Carol

Ebenezer

A Diva's Christmas Carol

Scrooge and Marley

A Nashville Christmas Carol

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

It's Christmas, Carol!

All American Christmas Carol

Karroll's Christmas

A Christmas Karen

A Valentine's Carol

The Monday List

Ten Unnecessary Christmas Cover Versions, Santa Baby Edition

Santa Baby, Madonna

Santa Baby, Calista Flockhart

Santa Baby, The Swingle Singers

Santa Baby, RuPaul

Santa Baby, Sugababes

Santa Baby, Katherine Jenkins

Santa Baby, Michael Buble

Santa Baby, The Pussycat Dolls

Santa Baby, Miss Piggy

Santa Baby, Everclear

The Monday List

The Ten Albums That Are On The Planet Sad Gramophone This Christmas

Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire, Bob Rivers

A Very Trainor Christmas, Meghan Trainor

Mistletoe Jam, The Christmas Jug Band

Christmas Gone Soca, Errol Ince

Kylie Christmas, Kylie Minogue

Christmas Jeer, Various Artists

Christmas For Brass, Amsterdam Staff Band

A Cockney Christmas With Chas 'N' Dave, Chas 'N' Dave

A Holly Dolly Christmas, Dolly Parton

Christmas Presence, Woo

The Monday List

Ten Films Where Characters Find Themselves Buried Alive In A Coffin

Kill Bill Vol 2

Double Jeopardy

Laid To Rest

Buried

City Of The Living Dead

The Vanishing

Buried Alive

Grave Secrets

The Nun

The Premature Burial

The Monday List

Ten Celebrities Who Own Pubs (Who Aren't Jeremy Clarkson)

Stuart Broad

Jodie Kidd

Ed Sheeran

Guy Ritchie

Ian McKellen

Rick Astley

James Blunt

Neil Morrissey

Connor McGregor

James May

The Monday List

 The Ten Worst Films To Watch While Holidaying On A Boat

Titanic 

Captain Philips 

The Perfect Storm

Dead Calm

Death on the Nile

Open Water 2

Ghost Ship

A Night To Remember

The Poseidon Adventure

Speed 2: Cruise Control (also one of the worst films to watch pretty much anywhere)

The Monday List

Ten More Actors Who Are Namechecked In Song Lyics

Doris Day - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, Wham

Errol Flynn - Twentieth Century Hero, Bucks Fizz

Rudolph Valentino - Y Viva Espana, Sylvia

Michael Caine - Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do, Goldie Lookin Chain

Richard Gere - Crying At The Discotheque, Alcazar

Clara Bow - Clara Bow, Taylor Swift

Macaulay Culkin - Summer Girls, Lyte Funkie Ones

Dennis Hopper - Lullaby, Shawn Mullins

Steve McQueen - Steve McQueen, Automatic

River Phoenix - River Phoenix, Santa Cruz

The Monday List

Get Down and Boogie With The Very Welcome Return Of Ten Songs By Acts You've Never Heard Of Before Since Or During

I Love My Radio - Taffy

Lullaby - Shawn Mullins

Little Girl - Banned

Your Honour - Pluto

Bass (How Low Can You Go) - Simon Harris

Could Have Told You So - Halo James

Every Night - Phoebe Snow

I Love The Nightlife - Alicia Bridges

Chase The Sun - Planet Funk

Tender Love - Force MDs

The Monday List

Ten Varieties Of Tomato That Sound Like Jam Bands

Big Rainbow

Early Girl

Mr. Stripey

Amish Paste

Super Sweet 100

Green Zebra

Arkansas Traveller

Indigo Rose

Garden Peach

Aunt Ruby's German Green

The Monday List

Ten Unnecessary Cover Versions - Rod Stewart Edition

Cigarettes And Alcohol, Rod Stewart

Love Train, Rod Stewart

You Keep Me Hanging On, Rod Stewart

Try A Little Tenderness, Rod Stewart

Weak, Rod Stewart

Sometimes When We Touch, Rod Stewart

I'll Stand By You, Rod Stewart

Stand Back, Rod Stewart

Rocks, Rod Stewart

Everything I Own, Rod Stewart

The Monday List

Ten Musical Acts Who For Some Unfathomable Reason Have Their Own Monopoly Set

Elton John

AC/DC

The Beatles

Jimi Hendrix

The Grateful Dead

Britney Spears

Rolling Stones

Iron Maiden

Queen

Metallica

The Monday List

The Ten Most Bizarre Things You Can Learn To Do With The Help Of WikiHow

Catch a lizard without using your hands

Be okay with having a Communist friend

Find and speak to your guardian angel

Get dimples naturally

Compute pi with frozen hot dogs

Tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue

Apologise to a cat

Make a narcissist come crawling back

Clean your bong with household items

Overcome lust

The Monday List

Quick, Change The Channel! It's Ten Programmes That Were Cancelled After One Episode

Kookyville

The Melting Pot

Let's Make A Love Scene

Host The Week

The Big Posh Holiday Swap

Storms From Space

The Debbie King Show

The Chop: Britain's Top Woodworker

Family Forensics UK

Heil Honey I'm Home!

The Monday List

The We May Have Had A Tiny Bit To Drink Return Of Ten  Bizarre Beer Names From Cloudwater Brew Co.

The Search For Truth Begins

Private Dreams And Public Nightmares

14 Unanswerable Questions

Sitting For A Long Time Becomes Toilsome

Rain On Ancient Keys

It's Good Weather For Black Leather

A Boat Leaves Alnmouth

It Must Be A Camel

A Giant In The Clouds

Stollen From Ivor

The Monday List

The Ten Most Bizarrely Named Lush Fragrances

The Old Songs Are Walking

Hungarian Fronds

No Way To Say Goodbye

Mossy Bottom

The Dew On Their Hems

Hairdresser's Husband

Bond Street 1972

Devil's Nightcap

Mr Wallet

Dad's Garden Lemon Tree

The Monday List

Ten Unnecessary Cover Versions - Status Quo Edition

The Safety Dance, Status Quo

Don't Bring Me Down, Status Quo

Raining In My Heart, Status Quo

The Wanderer, Status Quo

Johnny and Mary, Status Quo

Pump It Up, Status Quo

Don't Stop, Status Quo

Green Tambourine, Status Quo

Proud Mary, Status Quo

The Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades), Status Quo

The Monday List

Ten Celebrity Couples You Probably Completely Forgot About - Rock Musicians Edition

Paul Stanley and Samantha Fox

John Mayer and Katy Perry

Gene Simmons and Diana Ross

Tommy Lee and Pink

Eric Clapton and Sheryl Crow

Tony Iommi and Lita Ford

Geri Halliwell and Fred Durst

Lenny Kravitz and Kylie Minogue

Justin Timberlake and Fergie

Robbie Williams and Nicole Appleton

The Monday List

Ten TV Shows Which For Some Unfathomable Reason Have Their Own Cluedo Set

Bridgerton

Rick and Morty

Wednesday

Brooklyn Nine-nine

One Piece

Melrose Place

The Big Bang Theory

Scooby-doo

The Office

Downton Abbey

The Monday List

The Ten Most Unconvincing Scientists In Movie History

Denise Richards, The World Is Not Enough

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Junior

Tara Reid, Alone In The Dark

Keanu Reeves, Chain Reaction

Jessica Alba, Fantastic Four

Charlie Day, Pacific Rim

Elisabeth Shue, The Saint

Nicolas Cage, Knowing

Liv Tyler, The Incredible Hulk

Mark Wahlberg, Transformers: Age of Extinction

The Monday List

Ten Classic TV Shows You Probably Completely Forgot They Remade

The Bionic Woman

V

Kojak

The Odd Couple

Charlie's Angels

The Outer Limits

Fantasy Island

Dynasty

Beauty & The Beast

Ironside

The Monday List

Ten Celebrity Couples You Probably Completely Forgot About - Kate Hudson Edition

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong

Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson

Kate Hudson and Matt LeBlanc

Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson out of The Black Crowes

Kate Hudson and Dax Shephard

Kate Hudson and Nick Jonas

Kate Hudson and Adam Scott (the golf one, not the Parks and Recreation one)

Kate Hudson and Shannon Thirty Seconds To Mars

Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy out of Hi, We're Muse!

The Monday List

Ten Celebrities Who Own Their Own Vineyard

Madonna

Jon Bon Jovi

Sting

John Legend

Mary J. Blige

Sam Neill

Kyle McLachlan

Francis Ford Coppola

Drew Barrymore

Fergie out of The Black Eyed Peas

The Adge Files

 

 

Our ever-busy facial regalia researchers bring us this lovely shot of super smooth seventies pop duo R & J Stone, best known for their hit song, We Do It. And by It, we're sure they mean tend to those wonderfully exuberant sideburns. They really don't sport adge like this any more...

The Monday List

Ten Movies Which For Some Unfathomable Reason Have Their Own Monopoly Set

Top Gun

Gremlins

Elf

Love, Actually

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Stephen King's It

Lilo & Stich

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Beetlejuice

Labyrinth

Ten Musicians Who Sound Like Small Country Villages

Chappell Roan

Brook Benton

Jordan Hill

Benson Boone

Glen Campbell

Kirk Hammett

Morgan Seatree

Austin Howard

Brandon Lake

Newton Faulkner

The Monday List

Get Up And Boogie To Another Ten Songs That Don't Have Their Title In The Lyrics

Lido Shuffle, Boz Scaggs

Love Song, The Cure

Over The Hills And Far Away, Led Zeppelin

Temptation, New Order

The Kill, 30 Seconds To Mars

B.Y.O.B, System Of A Down

Reptilia, The Strokes

The Diary Of Horace Wimp, ELO

What's Up?, 4 Non Blondes

Night Owl, Gerry Rafferty

The Monday List

Coming To You Live From Google Maps, It's The Return Of Ten Villages That Sound Like Old Actors

Hutton Rudby

Rolvenden Layne

Crosby Ravensworth

Sherfield English

Maulds Meaburn

Whitley Chapel

Holme St Cuthbert

Kirkby Thore

Carlton Miniott

Patrick Brompton

The Monday List

What Are You Watching? It's The Return Of Ten Fake Movies From We Hate Movies We Wish Were Real

Divorced Guy v The Widower

Camera Gun 3: Going Digital

The Fingering Escapade

Fat University

Dominic Strauss Kahn v Tarantula

The Purge: Loose Rottweilers

Single White Summer Camp

Nerd Cop

Taken Vacation

Pacific CHUD

The Adge Files

As Planet Sad's tribute to the late Sly Stone, our FBI unit (that's Facial Bumfluff Investigators) brings you Sly and the Family Adge:

The Monday List

Ten Actors They Kept Trying To Make Happen (A Couple Of Whom Might Actually Have)

Sam Worthington

Austin Butler

Charlie Hunnam

Taron Egerton

Taylor Kitsch

Alex Pettyfer

Sam Claflin

Jai Courtney

Taylor Lautner

Ansel Elgort

The Monday List

Oh, You'll Know them When You Hear Them. It's Ten Pieces Of Overused Background Music - Classical Music Edition

In The Hall of the Mountain King, Peer Gynt, Grieg

Nocturnes, Op. 9: No. 2 in E-Flat Major, Andante, Chopin

Für Elise, Strauss

Air on the G-string, Bach

Concerto No.2 in G Minor "Summer", Presto, The Four Seasons, Vivaldi

Claire de Lune, Debussy

Ride of the Valkyries, Wagner

La Gazza Ladra, Rossini

Adagio for Strings, Barber

"O Fortuna", Carmina Burana, Orff

The Monday List

Currently Entertaining A Hen Party Near You, It's The Extremely Overdue Return of Ten Great Tribute Band Names

Fake No More

Meet Loaf

Dire Streets

Aeromyth

OK Sis

Fake That

Proxy Music

The Fillers

Jamirrorquai

No Duh

The Monday List

Packed With Insufferable Oxbridge Graduates, It's A Further Ten Comedy Sketch Shows You've Probably Completely Forgotten About

It's Kevin

Pulp Video

Glitchy

After That, This

Horne & Corden

Bruiser

Ryan and Ronnie

Dirty Sexy Funny

PS It's Paul Squire

Man Stroke Woman

The Monday List

Ten Unnecessary Cover Versions - Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker Edition

Rivers of Babylon, Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker

Staying Alive, Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker

Dancin' (On A Saturday Night), Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker

Sha La La Lee, Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker

Substitute, Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker

Save Your Kisses For Me, Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker

Night Fever, Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker

Get Back, Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker

Daddy Cool, Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker

Save Your Kisses For Me, Arthur Mullard & Hylda Baker

The Monday List

Ten More of the Weirdest Barry M Nail Varnish Shade Names

Silent Cove

Black Tie

After Dark

Lake House

Sheer Grace

Rarity

Sprinkles

Cascading

Optimist

Beach Club

The Monday List

After Some Corny Old Gags From The Warm-up Man, It's The Return Of Ten Sitcoms You've Probably Completely Forgotten About

Fiddlers Three

That's My Boy

Bonjour La Classe

Plaza Patrol

Haggard

My Husband and I

Down The 'Gate

Barbara

Sir Yellow

The Nineteenth Hole

The Monday List

Cor Blimey Guvnor! It's Ten More Fictional Characters With Strangely Unfortunate English Accents

Robin Hood (Kevin Costner, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves)

Molly Bennett (Lily Collins, Maxxxine), especially offensive to English because Lily Collins is actually from Surrey...

Clive, Daphne's 'Mancunian' boyfriend (Scott Atkinson, Frasier)

Jerôme (Shia LeBeouf, Nymphomaniac)

Billy Butcher (Karl Urban, The Boys)

Alex Drake (Troian Bellisario, Pretty Little Liars)

Brian (Josh Hartnett, Blow Dry)

Simon Pace (John Henry Canavan, Lost)

Evey (Natalie Portman, V for Vendetta)

Alistair Gascoyne, an alleged 'Geordie' (Greg Bryan, Castle)

The Monday List

Earworm Alert! It's The Highly Anticipated Return Of Ten Overused Pieces Of Background Music

Girl On Fire, Alicia Keys

Greatest Day, Take That

Boys Wanna Be Her, Peaches

Jump In The Line, Harry Belafonte

Boom Shak-a-Lak, Apache Indian

Unstoppable, Sia

A Girl Like You, Edwyn Collins

Home, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

Connection, Elastica

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This, Eurythmics

The Monday List

Ten Movies Where Somebody Dies On A Toilet

Southland Tales

Psycho 3

Deep Rising

Reeker

Jurassic Park

Street Trash

Zombieland

Ghoulies II

Pledge Night

The Monday List

Ten TV Shows You Probably Never Realised Had Their Own Pinball Game

Gilligan's Island

The Six Million Dollar Man

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

The Munsters

Scooby-Doo

The Twilight Zone

Rescue 911

Charlie's Angels

Star Trek

The Sopranos

The Monday List

Clogging Up Your Spotify Algorithm, It's Ten More Unnecessary Cover Versions

Stuck On You - Trevor Walters

Where Did Our Love Go - Manhattan Transfer

Break My Stride - Unique II

I Put A Spell On You - Brian Ferry

Love Don't Live Here Anymore - Madonna

More, More, More - Bananarama

Nights in White Satin - The Dickies

I Can See Clearly Now - Hothouse Flowers

Fantasy - Black Box

You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) - Byron Stingily

The Monday List

Ten People Who Were Once Ubiquitous On TV But Seem To Be Barely Spoken Of Today

Darcus Howe

Louie Spence

Dr Gillian McKeith

Nick Hancock

Carol Smillie

Mark Lamarr

Philippa Forrester

Paul Coia

Magenta Devine

Henry Kelly

The Monday List

Ten Varieties Of Hop That Sound Like Prog Rock Bands

Mosaic

Saphir

Galena

Ahtanum

Styrian Golding

Pacifica

Merkur

Hallertauer Taurus

Celeia

Bramling Cross

The Monday List

The Return Of Ten Bands That Are Impossible To Google

Personal Trainer

Cake

Real Estate

Girls Names

Free

Tennis

First Aid Kit

S

Equipment

Merchandise

The Monday List

Ten Celebrities Who Have A Cocktail Named After Them

Jim Carrey

Mary Pickford

David Bowie

John Daly

Brad Pitt

Ginger Rogers

Douglas Fairbanks

JOan Collijns

Jean Harlow

Charlie Chaplin

The Monday List

Ten Brands Of Lager You Probably Completely Forgot About

Skol

Harp

Castlemaine XXXX

Hofmeister

Kestrel

Charger

Hemeling

Arctic Lite

Kaltenberg

Heldenbrau

The Monday List

Ten Unnecessary Cover Versions - Midnite String Quartet Edition

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up), Midnite String Quartet

Living After Midnight, Midnite String Quartet

All The Small Things, Midnite String Quartet

Venus As A Boy, Midnite String Quartet

1999, Midnite String Quartet

I'm Not Okay (I Promise), Midnite String Quartet

Karma Police, Midnite String Quartet

Heart Shaped Box, Midnite String Quartet

Been Caught Stealing, Midnite String Quartet

My Old School, Midnite String Quartet

The Monday List

Ten Rejected Sequels To The Pope's Exorcist

The Pope's Dry Cleaner

The Pope's Chiropodist

The Pope's Independent Financial Advisor

The Pope's Coach Driver

The Pope's Greengrocer

The Pope's Dental Hygienist

The Pope's Customer Service Assistant

The Pope's Tattooist

Tyler Perry's Madea The Pope's Exorcist

The Pope's Exorcist: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire

The Monday List

Ten Varieties of Chili Pepper That Sound Like Rock Bands (And Aren't The Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Devil's Tongue

Black Cobra

Madame Jeanette

7 Pot Brain Strain

Chimayo

Fatalii

Prairie Fire

Dundicut

Cascabel

Naga Viper

The Monday List

The Welcome Return Of Ten Great Pest Control Truck Names From Bob's Burgers

Working For The Squeak-End

Bugs Done-y

Smash Moth

How The Pest Was Won

Gone Insect-y Seconds

Anty Maim

Gnat If I Can Help It

Two Crickets To Paradise

Pest Mortem

The Weevil Dead

The Monday List

Greetings, Pop-Pickers, It's Another Ten Artists In Other Artists' Lyrics

Gene Vincent - Sweet Gene Vincent, Ian Dury and the Blockheads

Daft Punk - Daft Punk Is Playing at My House, LCD Soundsystem

Kurtis Blow - Genius of Love, Tom Tom Club

Buddy Holly - I Feel Like Buddy Holly, Alvin Stardust

Michael Jackson - Michael Jackson, Fat Boy Slim

Charlie Puth - The Tortured Poets' Department, Taylor Swift

Fountains of Wayne - Fountains of Wayne Hotline, Robbie Fulks

New Kids On The Block - Summer Girls, Lyte Funkie Ones

Destiny's Child - Liquid Dreams, O-Town

Megan Thee Stallion - Antichrist, Eminem

The Monday List

Ten Things That Will Be Over In 2025

Cottagecore

Baby Reindeer

Picky tea

Being 'brat' (just at the point when Planet Sad works out what 'brat' actually is) 

Unicorns

Full sleeve tattoos

Cereal milk lattes

Eyebrow feathering

Fringing on everything

The ever-chuffing Kardashians