Amazing O*****c Lookalikes!

Ace gymnast Louis Smith and Drederick Tatum off of The Simpsons

The Monday List

Son of Ten Songs By Artists You've Never Heard Of Before, Since or During - Eighties Edition!
Keeping The Dream Alive - Freiheit
Cry - Waterfront
Lean on Me - Red Box
Is Vic There? - Department S
C'est La Vie - Robbie Nevil
I Won't Let You Down - PhD
What's The Colour of Money? - Hollywood Beyond
Let it All Blow - Dazz Band
Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone) - Glass Tiger
Drowning In Berlin - Mobiles

Rock Stars Who Look Like Dinner Ladies

No 23: Paul McCartney

Live and let dye...

30th OlympiADGE!

Danny Boyle, Planet Sad salutes you!

For celebrating the role of Adge in Great Britain's rich heritage. Mutton chops and naked flames are usually a risky combination, but oh, how you pulled it off.

The Adge Files

Deep in The Adge Files lurks a piece of grease-stained piece of paper that appears to have been singed while someone was smoking a fag, and bears only the words 'Wayne Slob'. Though based on the pictorial evidence, our investigators believe Wayne only grew sideburns because he was simply too lazy to shave the whole of his face...

Planet Sad Gets Sexy

Now that it's all about erotic fiction, we've decided to offer you some quality reading to arouse your senses and inflame your passions:

Or you can always go for this derivative, bandwagon-jumping shower of poorly written smut-shite:

(He promised to lay off moithering us for 'a go' for a few days if we gave them a plug, OK?'

The Monday List

Ten Men Who Just Look Worse With A Beard

David Beckham
Ashton Kutcher
Phil Collins
Joaquin Phoenix
Brad Pitt
Pierce Brosnan
Carlos Tevez
Spencer Pratt
Ben Affleck
David Mitchell

The Adge Files

Sealed in a lead-lined canister, at the bottom of a pit even deeper than the one we dug round the back of Planet Sad Towers in case Clooney comes back with his sex ramp, wanting a go, our paranormal face fungus investigators found an item marked The Most Irritating Adge In The World. Against their better instincts, they opened it and found...

...the bloke from the Safestyle UK windows advert!

Hurriedly, they resealed the can and poured half a ton of quick-setting concrete over it, to prevent such an eldritch abomination ever escaping into the world. But on dark winter's nights, even through their triple-glazing, the words 'You buy one sideburn, you get one free. You buy one sideburn, you get one free...' can still be heard floating through the air...

Hollywood Actors With Names That Sound Like A Particularly Tossy Firm Of London Estate Agents, No1 In A Series Of… Go On, Take A Punt

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

The Monday List

Ten Men Who Just Look Better With A Beard
Rowan Atkinson
William Petersen
Russell Brand
Caleb Followill out of Kings of Leon
Jack Black
Jonathan Frakes
Jamie Jones-Buchanan
Jeff Lynn
Russell Crowe
Gerard Butler

Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day

No, it's not a couple of Premier League footballers exchanging mid-match pleasantries about each other's marital situations - when Christian Bale's involved, you know it's going to be even swearier than that. Instead, it's a shot from The Dark Knight Rises. We think it might involve Batman trying to make sure the character on the left's had all his rabies shots and his pet passport's up to date - well, why else would he be wearing a muzzle in public? - but you know we're usually too busy stuffing cheesy nachos to pay any attention when the trailers come on down our local Gaumont.

Dutch Violinist Maths

     John Wetton                   Tom Wilkinson                      Andre Rieu

Congratulations, Roger Federer!

Well done on winning Wimbledon and all, but we'd prefer it if you didn't win it again, because if you do, then the people of Switzerland will have to give you another cow to commemorate your achievement, and Switzerland isn't made of cows.

Oh, hang on...

Planet Sad Went To Bruges...

...and all we got was this lousy exquisitely handwoven lace:

Huge Man, Tiny Wife - Belgian Edition

Yes, it's Man City's all-round good egg Vincent Kompany and his wife, Carla, though we can't decide if she's his missus or his mini-me...

The Monday List

The Ten Most Outrageous Flavours Of Chocolate Available From The Chocolate Line, Bruges

Saffron and curry
Havana cigar leaves
Basil, sundried tomato and black olives
Lemongrass and coconut milk
Cabernet Sauvignon and pine nuts
Marzipan and wasabi
Earl Grey tea
Fried onion
Coriander and salted peanut praline
Extra virgin olive oil

The Adge Files - Belgian Edition

In our quest to discover the strangest sideburns ever worn by man (and, on the odd occasion, woman), we followed up a reported sighting that puts the 'wall' into Walloon, or the phlegm into - er - Flemish. Scarier than sitting through a marathon of Hard Target, Sudden Death and whatever the other one is that they always screen after Europa Cup games on Channel 5, it's what can only be described as... Jean Claude van Adge!

At Your Service

COME ON ANDY MURRAY!

And then, for the love of Cliff, buy your mum a tube of Factor 50.

Hi! We're O*****c Muse!

Click on the strip to avoid eyestrain!

PS Dear corporate sponsors, we’ve tried our best not to infringe any marketing rights here but if we should have called Muse M**e, we’re very sorry.

PPS Dear M**e, very sorry to you too. For all of this.

The Monday List

Ten TV Drama Series You've Probably Completely Forgotten About
Harry
She's Out
Afterlife
The Paradise Club
Harbour Lights
Common As Muck
The Good Guys
Crocodile Shoes
Anna Lee
The Broker's Man