Ten Things That Will Be Over In 2020 Sriracha Weight loss tea Romesh Ranganathan Jackfruit Social media 'influencers' with no influence over anything Clothes with 'cold shoulder' sleeves Putting CBT oil in absolutely everything Kombucha Llamas The Kardashians (we're bound to be right about this one eventually...)
Ten Unnecessary Cover Versions - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas Edition Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Michael Bolton Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Sam Smith Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, The Pretenders Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Des O'Connor Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, St Winifred's School Choir Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Michael Buble Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Kathie Lee Gifford Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Coldplay Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Kermit The Frog Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Clay Aiken
The Ten Albums On The Planet Sad Gramophone This Christmas Dredd Zeppelin Presents Merry Christmas Christmas With Pinky & Perky Ann-Margret's Christmas Carol Collection Christmas From Hawaii - The Surfers Christmas Dancing - The James Last Band A Soulful Christmas - Glenn Hughes Tiny Tim's Christmas Album My Christmas Song For You - Danny Aiello Christmas Eve - Shakatak A Colt 45 Christmas - Afroman
We're Roasting Our Chestnuts On An Open Fire With The Ten Most Cliched Stock Images Of Christmas A nativity scene with the star shining directly down on the manger and the three kings hoving into view on camels A family in Christmas jumpers gathered around while their smallest child opens a beautifully-wrapped parcel Three 'trendy' women in matching party dresses and silver foil crowns, clutching luminous cocktails in oversized Martini glasses Father Christmas in his sleigh pulled by reindeer, silhouetted against a full moon A Christmas angel who looks more like a lace doily blowing a huge trumpet A hipster-looking bloke in a red and green novelty elf outfit with stripy socks and huge boots, posing self-consciously with arms full of presents A doting father lifting up his tiny son/daughter to place a star on the top of the Christmas tree A Christmas dinner table where the focal point is a roast turkey the size of Swindon A blonde model in a tiny red dress trimmed with white fur and matching Santa hatStrings of Christmas lights, out of focus so they appear to glow (bonus points if there's also a chuffing out-of-focus Christmas tree in the shot)
Ten More Alternative Terms For Piles Johnny Giles Sarah Miles Simone Biles Rockford Files Ashley Maitland-Niles Topps Tiles J. Geils Jeremy Kyles Annabel Giles Ben Wiles
Ten Things You'll Hear In Any 1970s BBC Radio Comedy Show A reference to Robin Ray showing off on Face The Music Jokes about Jimmy Savile being a bit weird that sound really uncomfortable in hindsight Someone doing an 'ethnic' voice to get a cheap laugh Mentions of the defunct radio soap opera Waggoner's Walk A musical interlude from a vocal harmony group you've never heard of Rotherham being used as the comedy place name of choice A joke pointing out that Spiro T. Agnew has a silly name A sketch parodying War of the Worlds, Blake's 7 or The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy A guest appearance by Marti Caine A gag at the expense of the continuity announcer who's about to appear when the show finishes
Ten Rejected Titles For 'Now' Compilation Albums Now That's What I Call Just Got Dumped Now That's What I Call Pissing Off The Neighbours At 2 A.M. Now That's What I Call A Tense, Angry Drive Home From The In-laws Now That's What I Call Terribly Hungover Now That's What I Call Trying To Impress Your Uni Roommates Now That's What I Call Unnecessary Cover Versions Now That's What I Call Songs That Sound Tinny Through Headphones On The Tube Now That's What I Call Something You Can Half Hear While Getting Your Hair Blow-dryed Now That's What I Call Overused Background Music Now That's What I Call Dancing Badly To Nineties Indie
Ten Music Videos That Feature The London Underground
Turn Back Time, Aqua Disco 2000, Pulp Don't Delete The Kisses, Wolf Alice Hung Up, Madonna New Song, Howard Jones Bedsitter, Soft Cell Press, Paul McCartney Something Better Came Along, Lower Than Atlantis Cry, Alex Parks Whisky Story, Example
The Ten Most Cliched Songs To Play Following The Final Whistle Of A Sports Match I Got You (I Feel Good) - James Brown Happy - Pharell Williams I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas Uprising - Muse Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond Celebrate - Kool And The Gang Another One Bites The Dust - Queen New York, New York - Frank Sinatra* Movin' On Up - M People** The Only Way Is Up - Yazz ** *Rotherham's New York Stadium only ** Football League Play-off Final games only
Ten Music Videos That Feature Trains Something About You - Level 42 On A Train - Yuksek 9 to 5 (Morning Train) - Sheena Easton Children - Robert Miles Livin' On The Edge - Aerosmith Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi Sticks n Stones - Jamie T Star Guitar - Chemical Brothers Riding On A Train - The Pasadenas Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper
Let's Have A Rumble With Ten More Gang Names Taken From TV Tropes.org We'd Like To See In A Remake Of The Warriors The Fake Faith Healers The Perky Female Minions The Vampire Vannabes The Corporate Samurais The Battleaxe Nurses The Heroic Albinos The Celibate Eccentric Geniuses The Hostile Hitchhikers The Lady Drunks The Token Rich Students
Ten Rejected Titles For The Forthcoming Avatar Sequels Carry On Avatar The Lion, The Witch And The Avatar Avatar 2: Electric Boogaloo Tyler Perry's Medea's Avatar Avatar In The Hood Avatar: Here We Go Again Confessions Of An Avatar The Fast And The Avatar Bride Of Avatar Avatar: A Tale Of Two Kitties
Ten More Musicians/Bands Who Have Cameos In Other Bands' Videos John Otway (Heart of Lothian, Marillion) Boyzone (The Sweetest Thing, U2) Claire Grogan (Young At Heart, The Bluebells) Quincy Jones (Triumph, Wu-Tang Clan) Edward Tudor-Pole (Vindaloo, Fat Les) Trevor Horn (Cry, Godley and Creme) Tenacious D (Learn To Fly, Foo Fighters) Lemmy (Anthem, Zebrahead) Dave Grohl (I Want You So Hard, Eagles Of Death Metal) Rick Ross (Centuries, Fall Out Boy)
Yes, it's Till Lindemann out of über-noisy German rock band, Rammstein, and a tompot blenny. Somewhere in the background is a ballan wrasse in a gimp suit, walking on a treadmill...
Who Let Ten More Music Videos That Feature Dogs Out? Sliver, Hundred Reasons Pork Soda, Glass Animals Teenage Icon, The Vaccines Juicebox, The Strokes Don't Matter Now, George Ezra Black Hole Sun, Soundgarden Original Prankster, Offspring Doop, Doop Temple, Kings of Leon Hounds Of Love, The Futureheads
Ten Actors Who Are Namechecked In Song Lyrics Michelle Pfeiffer - Uptown Funk, Bruno Mars Brad Pitt - That Don't Impress Me Much, Shania Twain James Dean - Rock On, David Essex Eva-Marie Saint - Perfect Skin, Lloyd Cole and the Commotions Marlene Dietrich - Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)?, Peter Sarstedt Sean Connery - Kids, Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue Tom Cruise - Through The Wire, Kanye West Michael Caine - Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do, Goldie Lookin' Chain Harrison Ford - One Week, Barenaked Ladies Dom DeLuise - After The Fire, Roger Daltry
Returning With The Tedious Inevitability Of An Unloved Season, It's Ten Unnecessary Cover Versions A Whiter Shade Of Pale, Annie Lennox Nathan Jones, Bananarama Viva Las Vegas, ZZ Top Torn, Neck Deep Love Of The Common People, Paul Young Personal Jesus, Def Leppard Shout, Disturbed Lean On Me, Club Nouveau Some Guys Have All The Luck, Rod Stewart Rock The Boat, Forrest
Ten Music Videos That Feature Ballerinas Shattered Dreams, Johnny Hates Jazz Still Into You, Paramore No More I Love Yous, Annie Lennox Dancing Girls, Nick Kershaw Hey Little Girl, Icehouse Shake It Off, Taylor Swift Rapture, Blondie The Look Of Love, ABC Runaway, Kanye West Spectrum, Florence + The Machine
Heywoode You Believe It, It's Ten More Acts You've Never Heard Of Before Since Or During Roses - Heywoode Sonic Boom Boy - Westworld London Nights - London Boys Brother Louie - Modern Talking Jump To The Beat - Stacy Lattisaw Numero Uno - Starlight Live It Up - Mental As Anything Touch Me - 49ers The First Picture Of You - The Lotus Eaters Call Me - Spagna
Splash The Walls With Ten More Weird Valspar Paint Shade Names Sailor’s Delight Lovely Love Song Nana’s Pearls Salty Peat Roaming Pony Ballroom Belle Subtle Canopy Cattle Drive Hello Dolly Shark Loop
Ten More Questions That Aren't Answered By The Lyrics Of The Song Do You Know The Way To San Jose? What's Up? Will You Love Me Tomorrow? Who Killed Bambi? Is Vic There? What's New Pussycat? What Is Love? Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)? Is This The Way To Amarillo? Don't You Want Me?
When A Man Loves The Monday List - It's Ten Unnecessary Cover Versions, Michael Bolton Edition When A Man Loves A Woman, Michael Bolton Sexual Healing, Michael Bolton Tired Of Being Alone, Michael Bolton A Whiter Shade Of Pale, Michael Bolton Dancing In The Street, Michael Bolton I Can't Stand The Rain, Michael Bolton Try A Little Tenderness, Michael Bolton Reach Out I'll Be There, Michael Bolton Ain't No Sunshine, Michael Bolton Georgia On My Mind, Michael Bolton
Ten Music Videos That Feature Judges Good Morning, Judge - 10CC Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous - Good Charlotte Pass the Dutchie - Musical Youth Do Anything You Wanna Do - Thin Lizzy Sexuality - Billy Bragg The Drug In Me Is You - Falling In Reverse I Can't Drive 55 - Sammy Hagar Do You Really Want To Hurt Me - Culture Club Kangaroo Court - Capital Cities She Said - Plan B
Ten Things From Jukebox Musicals We're Completely Bored Of The setting is a futuristic totalitarian dystopia Privileged but malcontent teenage heroine Teen hero from wrong side of the tracks Romeo and Juliet-style plot involving the previous two things. The heroine gets a rock/metal/punk/bad-gal makeover Evil overlord who has outlawed music (usually the heroine's dad) Campy torture scene, usually involving the chorus pretending to spasm while being poked by fake cattle prods A macguffin that's only there to look/sound cool, rather than being vital to the outcome of the plot Song sung by beta couple who invariably have way more talent/charisma/chemistry than the alpha couple* The inevitable chuffing film adaptation of the musical *And who are usually considerably less white
Break A Leg! It's Another Ten Place Names That Sound Like Old Actors Stanton Fitzwarren Newton St Loe Lydiard Millicent Broughton Poggs Grendon Underwood Hinton Waldrist Kingston Bagpuize Asthall Leigh Buckland Marsh Norton Malreward
Yes, Greta and Freda Sad are enjoying our traditional Wimbledon fortnight - slumped in front of BBC2 with a family bucket of pickled onion Monster Munch and several dozen cans of Asda own brand Strawberry Daiquiri to hand. When we heard Andy Murray would be playing men's doubles with Pierre-Hugues Herbert, we got very excited, because at first we thought he was teaming up with Jean-Hugues Anglade. Once we'd swallowed our disappointment (and a couple of those Strawberry Daiquiris) on learning the truth, we were at least able to dig this picture from Killing Zoe (nah, us neither) out of the Planet Sad archives and remind ourselves that if you are French, it is still legal to be this ridiculously grubby:
Ten Rejected Titles For John Wick 3 John Wick 3: Wick Harder John Wick 3: Wick As A Brick John Wick 3: John Wick vs Kramer John Wick 3: The Wick And The Dead John Wick 3: The John Wick-er Man John Wick 3: Look, Keanu's Acting! Tyler Perry's John Wick 3 John Wick 3: Is He Really Still Upset About The Dog? John Wick 3: Season Of The Wick John Wick 3: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire
Ten Bizarre Things That Have Their Own Museum In Amsterdam Pianolas Marijuana Tulips Vodka Houseboats Pipes Instruments of torture Handbags Cheese The Dutch national football team
Yes, it's fat-faced manchild Leonardo diCaprio in a still from Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, proving that it is possible to be ridiculously manly while wearing beige slacks, a windcheater and stack heels...
Following The Success (Or Otherwise) Of The Carabao Cup Draw, Ten More Events That Will Be Held At Morrisons, Colindale The Last Night Of The Proms The Trooping Of The Colour The Induction Ceremony Into The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame The Wimbledon Men's Doubles Finals The Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe The Nickleodeon Kids' Choice Awards The Giro d'Italia The Great British Beer Festival Amsterdam Pride Burning Man
No 20: Planet Sad prepares a smart aleck remark about Tyson Fury's - er- unconventional fashion choices and the fact he's the only man named after two dogs, then remembers how hard he hits and decides to say he looks lovely instead.
Get Her, Dearie, It's The Ten Campest Valspar Paint Shade Names So Twee Buckskin Chaps Here Comes The New Girl Cheeky Felecia Sassy Suede Boots Mince Tarts Oopsy Daisy Buttered Crumpet Sigh of Relief Campground
Ten People Whose Careers Are Being Kept Alive By Lifetime Original Movies Jewel Staite Vivica A. Fox Lochlyn Munro Boti Bliss Alexandra Paul Haylie Duff Jason Patric Kellie Martin Melissa Joan Hart Eric Roberts
Bust A Move For The Return Of Ten Songs By Artists You've Never Heard Of Before Since Or During I Wanna Wake Up With You, Boris Gardiner Disco's Revenge, Gusto Definition of a Boombastic Jazz Style, Dream Warriors Eat My Goal, Collapsed Lung Black and Gold, Sam Sparro Whatever, Liam Lynch Get Dancin, Disco Tex and the Sex-O-Lettes Set Adrift On Memory Bliss, PM Dawn Bomb The Bass, Beat Dis Poison, Bell Biv Devoe
Ten More Fake Movies From We Hate Movies We Really Want To Watch Another Schindler's List Hitlergeist Tales From The Crypt Presents Garbagefest Night At The Museum: Oh My God, A Dragon! Uwe Boll's Chaincopter The Madness Of King Ralph City Slickers 2: The Legend Of Curly's Wife Lara Croft: Boob Raider Stephen Sajdak in Condoms On Christmas Expendables 4: Still Fat
Ten Films That Were Supposed To Have A Sequel But Never Did The Shadow A-Team John Carter Eragon Master And Commander: The Far Side Of The World Green Lantern The Golden Compass Lost In Space Super Mario Bros. Godzilla
By Jove, Old Bean! The Ten Most Cliched Stock Images Of London A woman standing on Westminster Bridge with the Houses of Parliament in the background The bell tower everyone thinks is called Big Ben, but it isn't A row of red telephone boxes, strangely without any "tarts' cards" visible on the windows A night time street scene with light trails to suggest London is always on the move Those sky scraper office blocks in the City that all have ridiculous names like The Walkie-Talkie, The Cheese Grater, and Deric Buckingham Palace, the Queen not pictured A Routemaster bus driving around Piccadilly Circus The London Eye The London Eye, but at night Nelson's chuffing Column
The Long Overdue Return Of Ten Place Names That Sound Like Old Actors Buckland Dinham Upton Scudamore Peasdown St John Chewton Keynsham Norton Bavant Hinton Charterhouse Farleigh Hungerford Stanton Drew Compton Dando Marston Bigot
Ten Music Videos That Feature Food Fights Fight For Your Right (To Party) - Beastie Boys Ready To Run - Dixie Chicks Everybody's Gone To War - Nerina Pallot Sing - Travis Kiwi - Harry Styles Love Is Gone - David Guetta Let's Go For Tonight - Foxes Hot And Cold - Ex Hex Buckle - We Are Scientists Sunday Morning - No Doubt
Ten More Celebrities You Probably Completely Forgot Made An Album Steven Seagal Lindsay Lohan Kevin Costner Carl Lewis Ann-Margret Leonard Nimoy Scarlett Johansson Scott Baio Anthony Hopkins Heidi Montag
Slap On The Undercoat, It's The Return Of Ten Weird Valspar Paint Shade Names Tempest's Teapot Sling Your 'ook Swan Beak Tadpole Blue Back by Popular Demand Ploughman’s Pickle Eye of Horace Howl at the Moon Release the Hounds Bog Fog
Ten Cheese-Based Hip Hop Stars* Eminemmenthal Method Manchego Feta Wap Andre Brie000 Rowdy Reblechon Redfoo Leicester Babybel Biv DeVoe Mos-arella Def Gouda Lookin' Chain Cheesy-E *because scientists claim cheese tastes better when you listen to hip hop
Helaas Pindakaas! The Ten Most Cliched Stock Images Of Amsterdam A woman cycling with a bunch of tulips in her bike basket Some gabled houses leaning over as if they might fall into the water A shop display of pairs of clogs A prostitute standing in a window in the Red Light District, looking so bored she could just spew Tourists sitting on the big 'iamsterdam' letters round the back of the Rijksmuseum The Rijksmuseum, then A bridge with a bike chained to it A view of a stretch of canal, probably the Brouwersgracht The same view of the Brouwersgracht, but at night A windmill - possibly with a mouse living in it, we don't know
Here's Ben Affleck and chums being all ridiculously manly in Netflix's Triple Frontier. Not only is the image ideal for any middle-aged divorcees or gay men who are bored of their 300 wallpaper, it also features the best creepy flesh-coloured beard since that belonging to Spencer Pratt off of The Hills...
Ten Music Videos From Films Where The Stars Of The Film Make Cameo Appearances Spies Like Us, Paul McCartney When The Going Gets Tough, Billy Ocean Ghostbusters, Ray Parker Jr. Sweet Freedom, Michael McDonald Gangster's Paradise, Coolio Twist Of Fate, Olivia Newton-John St Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion), John Parr The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss), Cher The Power Of Love, Huey Lewis and The News Wild Wild Life, Talking Heads
Ten More Tyler Perry Projects We Wish He'd Film Tyler Perry's Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events Tyler Perry's Michelle and Romy's High School Reunion Tyler Perry's Monty Python's Life Of Brian Tyler Perry's Ferris Beuller's Day Off Tyler Perry's Bram Stoker's Dracula Tyler Perry's The French Lieutenant's Woman Tyler Perry's John Carpenter's Ghosts Of Mars Tyler Perry's Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure Tyler Perry's Lady Chatterley's Lover Tyler Perry's Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
Ten More Music Videos That Feature Nurses Basket Case - Green Day Girls Just Want To Have Fun - Cindi Lauper Dancing Girls - Nik Kershaw Dr Beat - Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones Run - Foo Fighters She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby Bandages - Hot Hot Heat Cocoon - Catfish and the Bottlemen Crazy - From Ashes To New
Ten Categories We'd Like To Have Seen At This Year's Oscars Best Reboot Of A Prequel To A Sequel To A Remake Best Attempt To Resurrect A Career Derailed By Scandal Best Film Based On A Mediocre Sitcom Best Film To Receive Extravagant Praise Without Actually Being Any Good The Meryl Streep Award For Simply Being In A Film This Year Best Performance By Someone You Didn't Realise Was Still Alive Best Film Nobody Will Remember In Three Years' Time Best Picture People Claim To Have Watched But Never Will Best Film That Exists Purely To Stoke Up Outrage On Twitter
Ten Oscar Winners Who've Appeared In Lifetime Movies Mercedes Ruehl (All-American Girl) Marcia Gay Harden (She's Too Young) Tatum O'Neil (Fab Five: The Texas Cheerleader Scandal) Mira Sorvino (No One Would Tell) Hilary Swank (Dying To Belong) Kim Basinger (The Mermaid Chair) Patricia Arquette (Terror In The Family) Anjelica Huston (The Watcher In The Woods) Catherine Zeta-Jones (Cocaine Godmother) Martin Landau (Anna Nicole)
Ten Films That Borrow The Plot Of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde The Ugly Duckling Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde I, Monster The Two Faces Of Dr. Jekyll Mary Reilly Dr. Pyckle and Mr. Pryde The Nutty Professor Dr. Heckle And Mr. Hype Edge Of Sanity Dr. Jeckyll and Sister Hyde
Shivering Britain! 10 Pictures You're Sure To See When It Snows In The UK Britain's Highest Pub The Tan Hill Inn Dogs frolicking in the snow Policemen having fun with a sledge (bonus point for spotting comments from churls moaning that the policemen should be fighting crime, because that's what we pay them for) A sculpture of two giant feet labelled "Two Feet of Snow" made of snow Blimey! It snowed IN LONDON! Here's a Tube station in the snow Twangers skiing to work Sheep in the snow "Hilarious" snowpeople in pornographic poses Zoo animals experiencing snow for the first time The chuffing Tan Hill Inn again
Woof! Woof! It's Ten More Music Videos That Feature Dogs Sliver - Hundred Reasons Pork Soda - Glass Animals Teenage Icon - The Vaccines Juicebox - The Strokes Don't Matter Now - George Ezra Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden Original Prankster - Offspring Doop - Doop Weirdo - The Charlatans Temple - Kings Of Leon
Ten More Actors Who've Fronted Ad Campaigns While Clearly Wondering Where Their Acting Career Went... Heather Graham (Foxy Bingo) Harvey Keitel (Direct Line) Verne Troyer (BGO) David Hasselhof (Farm Foods) Owen Wilson (Sofology) Clive Owen (SAP) Julianne Hough (Proactiv) Richard Ayoade (HSBC) James Buckley (Ladbrokes) Vinnie Jones (Kik e-cigarettes)
The Ten Most Manly Gerard Butler Character Names Mike Banning (Olympus Has Fallen) Sam Childers (Machine Gun Preacher) 'Big Nick' O'Brien (Den Of Thieves) Dane Jensen (A Family Man) Clyde Shelton (Law Abiding Citizen) Captain Joe Glass (Hunter Killer) Frosty Hesson (Chasing Mavericks) Terry Sheridan (Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life) Alex Rover (Nim's Island) Milo Boyd (The Bounty Hunter)
Ten Films That Are Based On Songs Alice's Restaurant Love Me Tender Copacabana Take This Job And Shove It The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia Earth Girls Are Easy Harper Valley PTA Convoy Born In East L.A. Ode To Billy Joe
We're here, we're sad - get used to us! Whenever two or more are gathered together having a conversation about how the Kings of Leon look like they need a wash, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you find yourself inadvertently stalking a lower league footballer, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you are in need of a window to scrabble at, you are on Planet Sad. And if you are in the Twilight Zone, you should have turned left at the lights.
HERE'S WHERE ALL THE TRAGIC HAPPENS!
Whenever two or more are gathered together having a conversation about how the Kings of Leon look like they need a wash, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you find yourself inadvertently stalking a lower league footballer, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you are in need of a window to scrabble at, you are on Planet Sad. And if you are in the Twilight Zone, you should have turned left at the lights.
