Monday, 15 July 2019

The Monday List

Ten Things From Jukebox Musicals We're Completely Bored Of

The setting is a futuristic totalitarian dystopia
Privileged but malcontent teenage heroine
Teen hero from wrong side of the tracks
Romeo and Juliet-style plot involving the previous two things.
The heroine gets a rock/metal/punk/bad-gal makeover
Evil overlord who has outlawed music (usually the heroine's dad)
Campy torture scene, usually involving the chorus pretending to spasm while being poked by fake cattle prods
A macguffin that's only there to look/sound cool, rather than being vital to the outcome of the plot
Song sung by beta couple who invariably have way more talent/charisma/chemistry than the alpha couple*
The inevitable chuffing film adaptation of the musical

*And who are usually considerably less white

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