Hapless hound Binky Hellbeard has found himself on doggie
death row for the crime of LOOKING LIKE VARG VIKERNES. The pitiful pooch told
Planet Sad of his plight – “I ain’t no Black Metal Bonzo. I’ve nicked a sausage or two in my
time but I ain’t never stabbed a rival musician causing him to die in his underpants nor burned down no Mediaeval churches – honest.” Any lawyers
willing to defend Binky on a pro-Bonio* basis and offer him a loving forever
home pending an acquittal should contact Planet Sad ASAP. We haven’t got the
foggiest idea where the mutt is, but if you’re that much of a soft touch, we’re
hoping you’ll be willing to take THIS off our hands. Pretty please?
*Yes, we really did sink this low.
