The Monday List

The Ten Albums On The Planet Sad Gramophone This Christmas

Dredd Zeppelin Presents Merry Christmas
Christmas With Pinky & Perky
Ann-Margret's Christmas Carol Collection
Christmas From Hawaii - The Surfers
Christmas Dancing - The James Last Band
A Soulful Christmas - Glenn Hughes
Tiny Tim's Christmas Album
My Christmas Song For You - Danny Aiello
Christmas Eve - Shakatak
A Colt 45 Christmas - Afroman

The Monday List

We're Roasting Our Chestnuts On An Open Fire With The Ten Most Cliched Stock Images Of Christmas

A nativity scene with the star shining directly down on the manger and the three kings hoving into view on camels
A family in Christmas jumpers gathered around while their smallest child opens a beautifully-wrapped parcel
Three 'trendy' women in matching party dresses and silver foil crowns, clutching luminous cocktails in oversized Martini glasses
Father Christmas in his sleigh pulled by reindeer, silhouetted against a full moon
A Christmas angel who looks more like a lace doily blowing a huge trumpet
A hipster-looking bloke in a red and green novelty elf outfit with stripy socks and huge boots, posing self-consciously with arms full of presents
A doting father lifting up his tiny son/daughter to place a star on the top of the Christmas tree
A Christmas dinner table where the focal point is a roast turkey the size of Swindon
A blonde model in a tiny red dress trimmed with white fur and matching Santa hatStrings of Christmas lights, out of focus so they appear to glow (bonus points if there's also a chuffing out-of-focus Christmas tree in the shot)

The Monday List

Ten More Alternative Terms For Piles

Johnny Giles
Sarah Miles
Simone Biles
Rockford Files
Ashley Maitland-Niles
Topps Tiles
J. Geils
Jeremy Kyles
Annabel Giles
Ben Wiles

The Monday List

Ten Things You'll Hear In Any 1970s BBC Radio Comedy Show

A reference to Robin Ray showing off on Face The Music
Jokes about Jimmy Savile being a bit weird that sound really uncomfortable in hindsight
Someone doing an 'ethnic' voice to get a cheap laugh
Mentions of the defunct radio soap opera Waggoner's Walk
A musical interlude from a vocal harmony group you've never heard of
Rotherham being used as the comedy place name of choice
A joke pointing out that Spiro T. Agnew has a silly name
A sketch parodying War of the Worlds, Blake's 7 or The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
A guest appearance by Marti Caine
A gag at the expense of the continuity announcer who's about to appear when the show finishes

The Monday List

Ten Rejected Titles For 'Now' Compilation Albums

Now That's What I Call Just Got Dumped
Now That's What I Call Pissing Off The Neighbours At 2 A.M.
Now That's What I Call A Tense, Angry Drive Home From The In-laws
Now That's What I Call Terribly Hungover
Now That's What I Call Trying To Impress Your Uni Roommates
Now That's What I Call Unnecessary Cover Versions
Now That's What I Call Songs That Sound Tinny Through Headphones On The Tube
Now That's What I Call Something You Can Half Hear While Getting Your Hair Blow-dryed
Now That's What I Call Overused Background Music
Now That's What I Call Dancing Badly To Nineties Indie

The Monday List

Ten Music Videos That Feature The London Underground

Turn Back Time, Aqua
Disco 2000, Pulp
Don't Delete The Kisses, Wolf Alice
Hung Up, Madonna
New Song, Howard Jones
Bedsitter, Soft Cell
Press, Paul McCartney
Something Better Came Along, Lower Than Atlantis
Cry, Alex Parks
Whisky Story, Example

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 25: Putting the water into the Battle of Waterloo...