Ten Signs You're A Character In An Agatha Christie Novel
You are the village busybody, and somehow know more about how to solve a crime than any number of long-serving policemen
You are the narrator, and also the murderer
You know a surprising amount about how to disguise the taste of arsenic in food
You are a fussy Belgian with an unhealthy interest in moustache wax
You are a detective, and also the murderer
You hold the vital clue to solving the murder, but because you appear to be a dotty old lady, everyone ignores you
You are able to make yourself appear completely unrecognisable simply by dying your hair
You are a character so minor you got a passing mention in Chapter Three, and also the murderer
Your house has a drawing room, purely so that everyone can be invited into it for the big reveal at the end of the book
You are a dead body, and also the murderer
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We're here, we're sad - get used to us! Whenever two or more are gathered together having a conversation about how the Kings of Leon look like they need a wash, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you find yourself inadvertently stalking a lower league footballer, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you are in need of a window to scrabble at, you are on Planet Sad. And if you are in the Twilight Zone, you should have turned left at the lights.
We're here, we're sad - get used to us!
WHERE ALL THE TRAGIC HAPPENS
We're here, we're sad - get used to us! Whenever two or more are gathered together having a conversation about how the Kings of Leon look like they need a wash, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you find yourself inadvertently stalking a lower league footballer, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you are in need of a window to scrabble at, you are on Planet Sad. And if you are in the Twilight Zone, you should have turned left at the lights.
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- HERE'S WHERE ALL THE TRAGIC HAPPENS! Whenever two or more are gathered together having a conversation about how the Kings of Leon look like they need a wash, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you find yourself inadvertently stalking a lower league footballer, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you are in need of a window to scrabble at, you are on Planet Sad. And if you are in the Twilight Zone, you should have turned left at the lights.
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