Friday, 22 June 2018

Planet Sad's Guide To The Wildlife Of The Low Countries


In recent years, Greta and Freda Sad have travelled extensively in Belgium and the Netherlands, because waffles and frites. Here’s our spotters’ guide to some of the native creatures we found there.

Herons

Herons can always be seen on the banks of canals and rivers, hunting for fish, eels, and small birds they will swallow in one gulp to gross you out. They are supreme opportunists. If you leave a bottle of Evian uncapped for more than a couple of minutes, a heron will arrive and loiter beside it, hoping to catch something.

Cats
Cats have been recently banned from cafes in Amsterdam because of the fear they may be unhygienic and from coffee shops because of the fear they will bogart your joint. You will still see them posing in many shop windows, like the magnificent chap we found pulling focus from some erotic sculptures.


Belgium’s squattest horse
This prestigious award is handed out every year. The winner can be found in a field somewhere between Brussels and Ghent, prompting passing train travellers to look out of the window and recite that Father Ted routine about things that are small as opposed to far away…


Wax George Clooney

Here's Wax George, taking time from his busy schedule of being a waxwork at Madame Tussauds in Amsterdam to nonchalantly enjoy a coffee and ignore the fact he's being photobombed by an Albert Heijn supermarket. Wax George is almost indistinguishable from the real Clooney, apart from one vital detail:


No comments:

Post a Comment