The Monday List

Ten Obscure Patron Saints And What We Think They Represent

St Mirren - the patron saint of taking your clothes off if the part demands it
St Abbo - the patron saint of offensive Australian language
St Cera - the patron saint of being mistaken for Jesse Eisenberg
St Veep - the patron saint of HBO political comedy series
St Hedwig - the patron saint of transgender musicals
St Dodo - the patron saint of being hunted to extinction by the Dutch
St Scholastica - the patron saint of school book clubs
St Ceasaria - the patron saint of being too posh to push
St Gwynllyw - the patron saint of being Welsher than Max Boyce at an Eisteddfodd
St Bond - ah, the patron saint we've been expecting...

Footballers Who Sound Like Artisan Farmhouse Cheeses

Colby Bishop, Accrington Stanley

The Monday List

Ten Music Videos That Feature A Supermarket

Dance The Night Away - The Mavericks
Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction
Your Mother's Got A Penis - Goldie Lookin Chain
Wonderful Life - Bring Me The Horizon
You Have Placed A Chill In My Heart - Eurhythmics
They Don't Know - Tracey Ullman
Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble
She Looks So Perfect - 5 Seconds Of Summer
Closer - Travis
Peanut Butter Jelly - Galantis

The Monday List

The Ten Weirdest Fortnum and Mason Chocolate Bar Names

Goodnight, My Bittersweet Beloved
Lady Antoine's Garden
Fire In The Hive
The Night It Snowed Stars
The Beast Comes At Midnight
Forever Chasing Supernovas
Pilots Fly In Pink Skies
Rose In The Violet Dress
The Obedience Of Bubbles The Dog
She Dreams In Marmalade

Oscar-winning Film Directors Who Look Like Dinner Ladies

No 1 in a series of the Korean for 'one': Bong Joon-Ho

The Monday List

Ten Things That Were Ubiquitous In The Nineties But Are Rarely Spoken Of Today

General Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf
Tamagotchis
The Body Shop's Dewberry perfume
William 'The Refrigerator' Perry
Incomprehensible heist thrillers directed by somebody desperate to be the next Quentin Tarantino
Ladettes
Handbag house music
L.A. Law
The Maldives as the exotic holiday location of choice
Spoonface Steinberg

The Monday List

The Triumphant Return Of Ten Of Roger The Alien Out Of American Dad's Best Persona Names

Ace Crouton
Twanderlust Lumpkin
Arbuckle T. Boone
Buck Wetnap
Schwinn Chafecrotch
Calypso Banana Puffy-Sleeves
JoJo Keen Wa
Lacey Krinkelhoel
Dan Ansom Handsome
Cordila Buttersnatch