Ten Shows On Really TV Whose Title Is The Most Interesting Thing About Them
Can Fat Teens Hunt?
Dawn Porter: Extreme Wife
I Want To Be A Hilton
Twiggy's Frock Exchange
Who'll Age Worst?
Spa Of Embarrassing Illnesses
Baby Borrowers
Sex With Mum And Dad
Hair Battle Spectacular
House Of Tiny Tearaways
Monday 26 December 2011
Sunday 25 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 25 December
It's…
CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAS!
Who else could we have in our top festive spot but Noddy Holder? We salute him for decades of services rendered to the cause of Adge, and the Lolloping Leafleteer, who has met him, says he was an all-round lovely bloke – which is what really counts during the season of goodwill, eh readers?
CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAS!
Who else could we have in our top festive spot but Noddy Holder? We salute him for decades of services rendered to the cause of Adge, and the Lolloping Leafleteer, who has met him, says he was an all-round lovely bloke – which is what really counts during the season of goodwill, eh readers?
Friday 23 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar – 24 December
It's...
Jarred Christmas! Looking a tad forlorn because it's not actual Christmas yet. Don't fret Jarred, only one more sleep to go...
Jarred Christmas! Looking a tad forlorn because it's not actual Christmas yet. Don't fret Jarred, only one more sleep to go...
Thursday 22 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 23 December
It's…
Cartoon Clooney! Sorry, George, we were going to let you have a "go" as a special treat for Christmas, but you're looking a little drawn.
Cartoon Clooney! Sorry, George, we were going to let you have a "go" as a special treat for Christmas, but you're looking a little drawn.
Wednesday 21 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 22 December
It's…
JPR Williams then and now! If the 1970s were a golden era for Welsh rugby, they were a platinum era for ostentatious Adge. Sadly, Japes is not so jolly in this more current picture – possibly because he'd just been done for drink driving, despite having had the presence of mind *AHEM!* to suck coins in an attempt to beat the breathalyser. Or maybe it's because his once luxuriant ginger chops are now merely silvery shadows of their former selves. Get a grip, JPR – don't bring shame on Adge like Henson brings shame on Wales.
JPR Williams then and now! If the 1970s were a golden era for Welsh rugby, they were a platinum era for ostentatious Adge. Sadly, Japes is not so jolly in this more current picture – possibly because he'd just been done for drink driving, despite having had the presence of mind *AHEM!* to suck coins in an attempt to beat the breathalyser. Or maybe it's because his once luxuriant ginger chops are now merely silvery shadows of their former selves. Get a grip, JPR – don't bring shame on Adge like Henson brings shame on Wales.
Tuesday 20 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 21 December
It's…
Monkey and Pigsy! These two put the Adge into Monkey magic and proved, week after week, that the nature of Adge is irrepressible!
Monday 19 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 20 December
It's…
Jemaine Clement out of Flight Of The Conchords! He's the one who isn't Bret McKenzie, whose Adge has already had a good going-over on Planet Sad (though not as good a going-over as all the fangirlies who liked Bret as that elf in Lord Of The Rings would like to give him). And – er – that's about it, really...
Jemaine Clement out of Flight Of The Conchords! He's the one who isn't Bret McKenzie, whose Adge has already had a good going-over on Planet Sad (though not as good a going-over as all the fangirlies who liked Bret as that elf in Lord Of The Rings would like to give him). And – er – that's about it, really...
X Factor Rejects Who Look Like Dinner Ladies
(As opposed to X Factor rejects who will probably end up as dinner ladies)
Number one in a field of one, Frankie Cocozza
Number one in a field of one, Frankie Cocozza
Sunday 18 December 2011
The Monday List
Ten Catchphrases Used By Guy Fieri On Every Episode Of Diners, Drive-ins And Dives
Off the hook
Out of bounds
Killer
Winner, winner, turkey dinner
Driving the bus to Flavour Town
On point
That's money
Here on Triple D
And that's all she wrote
It's bananas - and bananas is good
Off the hook
Out of bounds
Killer
Winner, winner, turkey dinner
Driving the bus to Flavour Town
On point
That's money
Here on Triple D
And that's all she wrote
It's bananas - and bananas is good
Adgevent Calendar - 19 December
It's…
Ludacris! Let us take a moment to admire a man who clearly designs his Adge with the aid of an Etch-a-sketch, a man whose entourage puts the 'ho' into 'ho-ho-ho', a man who inspires us to wish you all a Merry Ludacris-mas!
Ludacris! Let us take a moment to admire a man who clearly designs his Adge with the aid of an Etch-a-sketch, a man whose entourage puts the 'ho' into 'ho-ho-ho', a man who inspires us to wish you all a Merry Ludacris-mas!
Saturday 17 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 18 December
It's…
Starsky and Hutch! This is the Adge your mother tuned in to Saturday night TV for, because who couldn't resist a man in stack heels and a belted cardie? Just looking at that facial hair makes us want to throw ourselves out of a warehouse window, land on the roof of a car and look at our bestie in a homo-erotic fashion. The 1970s were weird, weren't they?
Starsky and Hutch! This is the Adge your mother tuned in to Saturday night TV for, because who couldn't resist a man in stack heels and a belted cardie? Just looking at that facial hair makes us want to throw ourselves out of a warehouse window, land on the roof of a car and look at our bestie in a homo-erotic fashion. The 1970s were weird, weren't they?
Friday 16 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 17 December
It's…
Tommy Craig as Inspector Brackenreid out of the Murdoch Mysteries! You know, it's that programme on the Alibi channel that isn't 20-year-old repeats of Taggart or Trevor Eve's Waking The Audience. Anyway, Tommy's role requires him to fail to solve crimes and be outacted by his Victorian mutton chops, both of which he does with aplomb. In his spare time, he supports Sheffield Wednesday, and apparently has a dog that claws his sofa (DFS, natch) when they lose. We don't know what it does when they win, because he's only owned it for three years...
Tommy Craig as Inspector Brackenreid out of the Murdoch Mysteries! You know, it's that programme on the Alibi channel that isn't 20-year-old repeats of Taggart or Trevor Eve's Waking The Audience. Anyway, Tommy's role requires him to fail to solve crimes and be outacted by his Victorian mutton chops, both of which he does with aplomb. In his spare time, he supports Sheffield Wednesday, and apparently has a dog that claws his sofa (DFS, natch) when they lose. We don't know what it does when they win, because he's only owned it for three years...
Thursday 15 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 16 December
It's…
Pete Steele! Oh, Uncle Peter, why did you have to leave us? This picture is from his notorious photo set for Playgirl. We're told he had a massive wang but we couldn't tear our eyes away from his Adge!
Wednesday 14 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 15 December
It's…
Mike Dirnt! You know, pointy sidies bloke out of Green Day, responsible for such classics as B-Adge-ket Case and American Adge-iot, but chiefly known for pulling a face that looks like he's been plonked unceremoniously on top of a Christmas tree. He's also got the world's dullest Wikipedia page (what, you think we put in extensive research on these entries when we could be sat in front of Noise Squad chowing down on hot and spicy Monster Munch?), but then he is a bass player...
Mike Dirnt! You know, pointy sidies bloke out of Green Day, responsible for such classics as B-Adge-ket Case and American Adge-iot, but chiefly known for pulling a face that looks like he's been plonked unceremoniously on top of a Christmas tree. He's also got the world's dullest Wikipedia page (what, you think we put in extensive research on these entries when we could be sat in front of Noise Squad chowing down on hot and spicy Monster Munch?), but then he is a bass player...
Tuesday 13 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 14 December
It's…
Jackson Rathbone! Out of Twilight. Way too fucking pleased with himself. Next!
Jackson Rathbone! Out of Twilight. Way too fucking pleased with himself. Next!
Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day
Monday 12 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar - 13 December
It's…
Annie Lennox, Aaron Johnson and Lady Gaga! In no particular order.
Annie kicked it off back in the ’80s by proving Sweet Dreams (and the nightmares of confused young men) are made of 20p-worth of velcro stuck to your cheeks. Aaron kicked ass and played John Lennon on the big screen – ImADGEine!
And OMG! FFS! (As the young folks would put it when they're not smoking, snogging or duffing each other up behind some bins.) Gaga, try to be original just for once, eh? Enough of ripping off of Madonna (M-Adge?)! And who hasn't danced blasphemously in their knickers while little Norman Reedus, barefoot and lipstick-smeared in their bathtub, tries terribly hard not to corpse?
Annie Lennox, Aaron Johnson and Lady Gaga! In no particular order.
Annie kicked it off back in the ’80s by proving Sweet Dreams (and the nightmares of confused young men) are made of 20p-worth of velcro stuck to your cheeks. Aaron kicked ass and played John Lennon on the big screen – ImADGEine!
And OMG! FFS! (As the young folks would put it when they're not smoking, snogging or duffing each other up behind some bins.) Gaga, try to be original just for once, eh? Enough of ripping off of Madonna (M-Adge?)! And who hasn't danced blasphemously in their knickers while little Norman Reedus, barefoot and lipstick-smeared in their bathtub, tries terribly hard not to corpse?
The Monday List
Nine Incidental Characters (Plus One Prop) We’re Strangely Obsessed With
Leonardo Acropolis in Blackadder – JAY-nius!
The bloke in a stetson who asks for Cristal’s autograph in Showgirls – Texas Sex Pest
Policeman 2 in Withnail & I – “Getinthebackofthevan!”
Planet Ay The Apes in Trainspotting
Jerry the pool boy from Dinocroc vs Supergator – “That I do, sir!”
The rasta on the bicycle in Thelma & Louise
Rob Reiner’s mother in When Harry Met Sally – “I’ll have what she’s having!”
Spike Milligan in The Life Of Brian – 'Yea, he cometh to us... like...' *gives up and stooges off*
Cynthia Knickerbocker, Zombie Killer of the Week, in Zombieland
George Clooney’s sex ramp in Burn After Reading!
Leonardo Acropolis in Blackadder – JAY-nius!
The bloke in a stetson who asks for Cristal’s autograph in Showgirls – Texas Sex Pest
Policeman 2 in Withnail & I – “Getinthebackofthevan!”
Planet Ay The Apes in Trainspotting
Jerry the pool boy from Dinocroc vs Supergator – “That I do, sir!”
The rasta on the bicycle in Thelma & Louise
Rob Reiner’s mother in When Harry Met Sally – “I’ll have what she’s having!”
Spike Milligan in The Life Of Brian – 'Yea, he cometh to us... like...' *gives up and stooges off*
Cynthia Knickerbocker, Zombie Killer of the Week, in Zombieland
George Clooney’s sex ramp in Burn After Reading!
Sunday 11 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar – 12 December
It's…
The MastADGE, out of Stargate! Which probably has actual Adge under its locks and bridle, we reckon. We'll level with you. At least one of us has envied and resented this hapless, innocent creature for years, on account of it being hand-fed chocolate by James Spader before dragging him off for the ride of his life. Then we discovered that "in universe", the species went extinct because its native planet was blown up. That makes us sad.
Sad enough that we want to give little grubby Dougal here
a cuddle and go "There, there, there..."
The MastADGE, out of Stargate! Which probably has actual Adge under its locks and bridle, we reckon. We'll level with you. At least one of us has envied and resented this hapless, innocent creature for years, on account of it being hand-fed chocolate by James Spader before dragging him off for the ride of his life. Then we discovered that "in universe", the species went extinct because its native planet was blown up. That makes us sad.
a cuddle and go "There, there, there..."
Saturday 10 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar – 11 December
It's…
Huge Ackman and Liev Schreiber! Yes, we are aware that these prodigious sidies were grown for X-Men Origins: Wolverine and not just for shits and giggles – Adge gratia artis and all that. But we've been told by our so-called "friends" at HRT TV – The Channel For The Change! that either we include the duo or they'll cut off the early-warning system that tells us CLOONEY is at large and sniffing around for "a go". So thanks a bunch, ladies, but whatever – it's the season of goodwill, so enjoy these with your mince pie and scoop of Baileys Haagen-Dasz. Bah.
Huge Ackman and Liev Schreiber! Yes, we are aware that these prodigious sidies were grown for X-Men Origins: Wolverine and not just for shits and giggles – Adge gratia artis and all that. But we've been told by our so-called "friends" at HRT TV – The Channel For The Change! that either we include the duo or they'll cut off the early-warning system that tells us CLOONEY is at large and sniffing around for "a go". So thanks a bunch, ladies, but whatever – it's the season of goodwill, so enjoy these with your mince pie and scoop of Baileys Haagen-Dasz. Bah.
Friday 9 December 2011
Adgevent Caldendar - 10 December
It's…
Christopher Lee! We were all set to post a picture of him as Lord Summerisle out of The Wicker Man, using Adge to accessorise a lovely yellow polo-neck and tweed – then up popped this gem. If ever Adge could impregnate a scullery maid simply by brushing up against her, then blame the indiscretion on a stable boy and, without the slightest pang of guilt, thrash him to within an inch of his sorry life for it, it would surely be this Adge. We also like Christopher's song about girl drinks from The Return Of Captain Invincible. Bottoms up!
Christopher Lee! We were all set to post a picture of him as Lord Summerisle out of The Wicker Man, using Adge to accessorise a lovely yellow polo-neck and tweed – then up popped this gem. If ever Adge could impregnate a scullery maid simply by brushing up against her, then blame the indiscretion on a stable boy and, without the slightest pang of guilt, thrash him to within an inch of his sorry life for it, it would surely be this Adge. We also like Christopher's song about girl drinks from The Return Of Captain Invincible. Bottoms up!
Thursday 8 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar – 9 December
It's…
Dave Grohl! Lead singer of the popular beat combo The Foo Fighters, Mr Grohl cordially invites you to admire the colour and the shape of his Adge. He earns the Planet Sad seal of approval for being a man who appreciates the fact facial fungus is always a winner when teamed with items of ladies' apparel - check out the video for Low if you don't believe us, but don't blame us if you never look at big, butch truck drivers in the same way again. That's if you looked at them in the same way before, of course...
Dave Grohl! Lead singer of the popular beat combo The Foo Fighters, Mr Grohl cordially invites you to admire the colour and the shape of his Adge. He earns the Planet Sad seal of approval for being a man who appreciates the fact facial fungus is always a winner when teamed with items of ladies' apparel - check out the video for Low if you don't believe us, but don't blame us if you never look at big, butch truck drivers in the same way again. That's if you looked at them in the same way before, of course...
Wednesday 7 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar – 8 December
It's…
Ray Dorset out of Mungo Jerry! In the summertime, when the weather is hot, this much Adge could cause fatal heat exhaustion. But it's winter, so bring it on!
Many thanks to the Lolloping Leafleteer for nominating him!
Ray Dorset out of Mungo Jerry! In the summertime, when the weather is hot, this much Adge could cause fatal heat exhaustion. But it's winter, so bring it on!
Many thanks to the Lolloping Leafleteer for nominating him!
Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day
Tuesday 6 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar – 7 December
It's…
Paul Bettany! He's something of a serial Adge-fender, sporting sidies in (at the very least) Creation and Master And Commander – The Far Side Of The World. In the former, he plays Charles Darwin and the latter sees him visit the Galap-Adge-gos Islands, doubtless on a quest to classify face fuzz as a Natural Selection/Survival Of The Fittest-type thing – like it gives Evolution something to hang on to, perhaps. Anyway, Bettany, we've rumbled you, and if you'd be so kind as to nip down to 4 December, Edgar Winter and his brother Johnny would like a word with you about your role in The Da Vinci Code…
Paul Bettany! He's something of a serial Adge-fender, sporting sidies in (at the very least) Creation and Master And Commander – The Far Side Of The World. In the former, he plays Charles Darwin and the latter sees him visit the Galap-Adge-gos Islands, doubtless on a quest to classify face fuzz as a Natural Selection/Survival Of The Fittest-type thing – like it gives Evolution something to hang on to, perhaps. Anyway, Bettany, we've rumbled you, and if you'd be so kind as to nip down to 4 December, Edgar Winter and his brother Johnny would like a word with you about your role in The Da Vinci Code…
Monday 5 December 2011
The (Free)View From Planet Sad
We were going to review The Referees DVD for you, but we now suspect our copy may be a knock-off.
Adgevent Calendar - 6 December
It's…
Lion-O out of Thundercats!
No, this isn't the steroid Pokémon/teatime cartoon version we were expecting. In fact it looks more like Wolverine (or, OK, Marcus Akin off of Big Brother 10) did it with Rihanna and then it was who'd have thought it. (By which we mean she gave viviparous birth.) But it's got better Adge than any other picture of Lion-O, and it's all about Adge right now so this is what we went with.
Lion-O out of Thundercats!
No, this isn't the steroid Pokémon/teatime cartoon version we were expecting. In fact it looks more like Wolverine (or, OK, Marcus Akin off of Big Brother 10) did it with Rihanna and then it was who'd have thought it. (By which we mean she gave viviparous birth.) But it's got better Adge than any other picture of Lion-O, and it's all about Adge right now so this is what we went with.
The Monday List
Ten Celebrity Great Long Jessies
Luke Charteris
Darren Boyd
Bruce Spence
Alexander Skarsgård
Will Ferrell
Peter Steele (RIP)
Donald Sutherland
RuPaul
Krist Novoselic
Neil Flynn
Luke Charteris
Darren Boyd
Bruce Spence
Alexander Skarsgård
Will Ferrell
Peter Steele (RIP)
Donald Sutherland
RuPaul
Krist Novoselic
Neil Flynn
Sunday 4 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar – 5 December
It's…
Starburns out of Community! Because Adge doesn't get more festive than this, unless you happen to have the entire Nativity on your chops and a Little Donkey topiary in your shirt moustache or something. We'd stick him on top of the Christmas tree, but we have other plans for that. Oh yes we do...
Starburns out of Community! Because Adge doesn't get more festive than this, unless you happen to have the entire Nativity on your chops and a Little Donkey topiary in your shirt moustache or something. We'd stick him on top of the Christmas tree, but we have other plans for that. Oh yes we do...
Saturday 3 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar – 4 December
It's…
Edgar Winter! Something for the gentlemen this time! An anagram of his name is "Adge Twin Err", so double the kudos for that. And it's, like, winter too. But he mucks it up a bit for himself with this, aside from the obvious jabot crime:
Us? Planet Sad? Listening to music for PEOPLE? Oh here go hell come!
Edgar Winter! Something for the gentlemen this time! An anagram of his name is "Adge Twin Err", so double the kudos for that. And it's, like, winter too. But he mucks it up a bit for himself with this, aside from the obvious jabot crime:
Us? Planet Sad? Listening to music for PEOPLE? Oh here go hell come!
Adgevent Calendar – 3 December
It's…
RichADGE ADGEmitage! Gisburne with sideburns! Something for the laydeez, especially our mates at HRT TV – The Channel For The Change!
RichADGE ADGEmitage! Gisburne with sideburns! Something for the laydeez, especially our mates at HRT TV – The Channel For The Change!
Thursday 1 December 2011
Adgevent Calendar – 2 December
It's…
Jim Kelly! Because we love his Adge-fro and as well as kicking bum as Williams in Enter The Dragon, he's also been in films called Black Belt Jones, Black Belt Jones 2, Hot Potato, Afro Ninja and The Amazing Mr No Legs. Look them up if you don't believe us.
Jim Kelly! Because we love his Adge-fro and as well as kicking bum as Williams in Enter The Dragon, he's also been in films called Black Belt Jones, Black Belt Jones 2, Hot Potato, Afro Ninja and The Amazing Mr No Legs. Look them up if you don't believe us.
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