Monday 31 December 2012
Happy New Year From Planet Sad!
On New Year's Eve, it is traditional for a dark-haired man to bring a lump of coal over the threshold come midnight and usher in luck for the rest of the year. Of course, at Planet Sad Towers, the only thing that's likely to be loitering on our doorstep tonight is...
The Monday List
Ten Things We Fully Expect To Be Over In 2013
Macaroons
Burlesque
The Gangnam Style dance
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux
Pop-up meat wagon restaurants
Fifty Shades and any books that want to be Fifty Shades when they grow up
Woolly hats with teddy bear/kitten ears attached
Pinterest
Vajazzling
The Kardashians (but not Bruce Jenner. Bruce Jenner will never be over.)
Macaroons
Burlesque
The Gangnam Style dance
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux
Pop-up meat wagon restaurants
Fifty Shades and any books that want to be Fifty Shades when they grow up
Woolly hats with teddy bear/kitten ears attached
Vajazzling
The Kardashians (but not Bruce Jenner. Bruce Jenner will never be over.)
Monday 24 December 2012
The Monday List
Ten Films That Are Heavily Indebted To The Plot Of A Christmas Carol
Scrooged
The Muppet Christmas Carol
A Carol Christmas
Ebbie
Christmas Cupid
Chasing Christmas
It's Never Too Late
Three Wise Women
Mrs Scrooge
Big Fat Important Movie
Scrooged
The Muppet Christmas Carol
A Carol Christmas
Ebbie
Christmas Cupid
Chasing Christmas
It's Never Too Late
Three Wise Women
Mrs Scrooge
Big Fat Important Movie
Friday 21 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 21 December
It's…
The Mayan Calendar with big, rubbish ginger Adge scrawled on it. Not as funny as if it had been the ADGEtecs or NostrADGEdamus, so can everyone please shut up about it now that we haven't woken up dead. Bored, bored, bored…
Thursday 20 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 20 December
It's…
Ray Manzarek! In the absence of actual little cardboard doors for you to open on this calendar, we thought we'd bring you the next best thing – one of The Doors! Ray's possibly best known for the immense twiddly bit at the start of Light My Fire, but all we care about are the immense twiddly bits he had on his face around that time. Ironically, whenever anyone did light a fire, Ray would take a few nervous steps back lest his Adge go up like twin petrol-soaked hay bales. Fact.
(Happy birthday to The Lizard Queen, by the way!)
Ray Manzarek! In the absence of actual little cardboard doors for you to open on this calendar, we thought we'd bring you the next best thing – one of The Doors! Ray's possibly best known for the immense twiddly bit at the start of Light My Fire, but all we care about are the immense twiddly bits he had on his face around that time. Ironically, whenever anyone did light a fire, Ray would take a few nervous steps back lest his Adge go up like twin petrol-soaked hay bales. Fact.
(Happy birthday to The Lizard Queen, by the way!)
Wednesday 19 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 19 December
It's…
Charlie Rich! Charlie once sang 'No one knows what goes on behind closed doors', but our theory is behind his, he was busy growing this truly remarkable pair of sidies that resemble spaniel's ears. And yes, we did happen to see the most beautiful Adge in the world...
Charlie Rich! Charlie once sang 'No one knows what goes on behind closed doors', but our theory is behind his, he was busy growing this truly remarkable pair of sidies that resemble spaniel's ears. And yes, we did happen to see the most beautiful Adge in the world...
Tuesday 18 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 18 December
It's…
Johnny Mathis! Crooner, golf fanatic and author of the seminal recipe book, Cooking For You Alone. (We're planning the Planet Sad version, Opening A Tin Of Beans For You Alone.) And when a child is born, whether he's black, white, yellow - no one knows - we only hope he'll be sporting luxuriant face furniture just like Johnny's. Now we're off to listen to The Sh-Adge-ow Of Your Smile. Yup, we did it again.
Monday 17 December 2012
The Monday List
Ten Music Videos That Are Set In Prison
St Anger - Metallica
Telephone - Lady Ga Ga & Beyonce
LSF - Kasabian
Prayin' - Plan B
Save A Mountain For Me - Godley & Creme
Feeling This - Blink 182
Valerie - The Zutons
They Don't Really Care About Us - Michael Jackson
It's My Life - No Doubt
Love In The Third Degree - Bananarama
St Anger - Metallica
Telephone - Lady Ga Ga & Beyonce
LSF - Kasabian
Prayin' - Plan B
Save A Mountain For Me - Godley & Creme
Feeling This - Blink 182
Valerie - The Zutons
They Don't Really Care About Us - Michael Jackson
It's My Life - No Doubt
Love In The Third Degree - Bananarama
Adgevent Calendar 2012 17 December
It's…
The mystery Welsh rugby fan seen on Clapham Junction station after the Twickers match! We don't know who you are, just that your spectacular Adge would have put JPR's to shame even in his heyday. You had the ’70s locks going on too, but sadly the only cameraphone we had with us at the time had run out of juice. If you read this and you'd care to send us a snap you're a shoo-in for next year's calendar. And if you don't, we salute you and your Cymric Adge anyway!
The mystery Welsh rugby fan seen on Clapham Junction station after the Twickers match! We don't know who you are, just that your spectacular Adge would have put JPR's to shame even in his heyday. You had the ’70s locks going on too, but sadly the only cameraphone we had with us at the time had run out of juice. If you read this and you'd care to send us a snap you're a shoo-in for next year's calendar. And if you don't, we salute you and your Cymric Adge anyway!
Sunday 16 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 16 December
It's…
Peter Steele, occupying his customary place within the branches. Still missing you and your Adge, Uncle P. RIP. x
Peter Steele, occupying his customary place within the branches. Still missing you and your Adge, Uncle P. RIP. x
Saturday 15 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 15 December
It's…
Christian Rodska! From biker to Ron Stryker, who was er, actually a biker as well. The shadiest worker on Follyfoot farm, he's workshy and roars around on a Triumph Tiger. But Wikipedia says he was "essentially warm-hearted and loved the horses", so fair play to him. As the theme tune didn't go but should have, "Grow, grow, the Adgevent Tree, don't shave those ’burns too easily!" and Christian certainly let those incredible ginger sproutings flourish! Bonus points for an epic ’70s bob-cum-widow's peak fringe combo too.
Christian Rodska! From biker to Ron Stryker, who was er, actually a biker as well. The shadiest worker on Follyfoot farm, he's workshy and roars around on a Triumph Tiger. But Wikipedia says he was "essentially warm-hearted and loved the horses", so fair play to him. As the theme tune didn't go but should have, "Grow, grow, the Adgevent Tree, don't shave those ’burns too easily!" and Christian certainly let those incredible ginger sproutings flourish! Bonus points for an epic ’70s bob-cum-widow's peak fringe combo too.
Friday 14 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 14 December
It's…
Andy McPhee! Sons Of Anarchy is a great show but why did a drama about hairy bikers wait until series three – after an ENTIRE run of Henry Rollins doing his cross face – and drag the action all the way to Belfast before it could serve up some decent Adge? Then, just when we were thinking that SAMBEL President Keith McGee's glorious sidies were well worth the wait, he turned out to be a traitorous rat-bastard, and Ron Perlman got perfectly furious and threw him off a roof. Oh well, that's The Life for you.
Andy McPhee! Sons Of Anarchy is a great show but why did a drama about hairy bikers wait until series three – after an ENTIRE run of Henry Rollins doing his cross face – and drag the action all the way to Belfast before it could serve up some decent Adge? Then, just when we were thinking that SAMBEL President Keith McGee's glorious sidies were well worth the wait, he turned out to be a traitorous rat-bastard, and Ron Perlman got perfectly furious and threw him off a roof. Oh well, that's The Life for you.
Wednesday 12 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 13 December
It's…
Matthew Arnold! British poet – he wrote Dover Beach, The Scholar-Gypsy and Thyrsis – cultural critic and also inspector of schools. This meant that kids everywhere probably sniggered and called him *heaves sigh* "Matthew ADGE-nold." Those are particularly spectacular chops, mind you. Like a couple of hairy Breville toasties.
Matthew Arnold! British poet – he wrote Dover Beach, The Scholar-Gypsy and Thyrsis – cultural critic and also inspector of schools. This meant that kids everywhere probably sniggered and called him *heaves sigh* "Matthew ADGE-nold." Those are particularly spectacular chops, mind you. Like a couple of hairy Breville toasties.
Adgevent Calendar 2012 12 December
It's…
Midge Ure! The non/less-sweary one out of him and Bob Geldof out of Band Aid, he was the singer out of Ultravox and out of Slik too, a band a lot of people thought was called "Silk" if they'd only seen it written down. Vienna means nothing to him which makes us pity him because we know how it feels to really like somewhere (Bruges). He was married to a woman whose name is rhyming slang for piles, but of course we're most interested in his liking for pointy ADGE topiary. We'll do the MADGE Ure pun because you'll be expecting it now but it's not our fault if it sounds like a Madonna joke.
Midge Ure! The non/less-sweary one out of him and Bob Geldof out of Band Aid, he was the singer out of Ultravox and out of Slik too, a band a lot of people thought was called "Silk" if they'd only seen it written down. Vienna means nothing to him which makes us pity him because we know how it feels to really like somewhere (Bruges). He was married to a woman whose name is rhyming slang for piles, but of course we're most interested in his liking for pointy ADGE topiary. We'll do the MADGE Ure pun because you'll be expecting it now but it's not our fault if it sounds like a Madonna joke.
Adgevent Calendar 2012 11 December
It's…
William Ewart Gladstone! This Liberal politician was Prime Minister four times, Britain's oldest Prime Minister and also Chancellor of the Exchequer. He was known as "The GOM", which stood for "The Grand Old Man" among people who liked him, or "God's Only Mistake" according to Benjamin Disraeli who thought he sucked (but in a Victorian stylee) and obviously didn't foresee Planet Sad. (Although it's pretty obvious that this site has bugger all to do with intelligent design.) Gladstone was also known as "The People's William" which makes him sort of like Lady Di, Princess of Hearts, but with ADGE. So yes, William Ewart GlADGEstone! See what we did there? Again.
William Ewart Gladstone! This Liberal politician was Prime Minister four times, Britain's oldest Prime Minister and also Chancellor of the Exchequer. He was known as "The GOM", which stood for "The Grand Old Man" among people who liked him, or "God's Only Mistake" according to Benjamin Disraeli who thought he sucked (but in a Victorian stylee) and obviously didn't foresee Planet Sad. (Although it's pretty obvious that this site has bugger all to do with intelligent design.) Gladstone was also known as "The People's William" which makes him sort of like Lady Di, Princess of Hearts, but with ADGE. So yes, William Ewart GlADGEstone! See what we did there? Again.
Tuesday 11 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 10 December
If this entry was an episode of Friends, they'd title it The One With The Scheduling Misfire. And being a Planet Sad production it would have shitter hair. Anyway, it's…
Peter Griffin out of Family Guy, when he was in a rubbish stoned hippie duo with Lois called Handful Of Peter. And he probably had a fight with a giant chicken or a buff hamster after that or something. Whatever. Behold! Cartoon Adge!
Monday 10 December 2012
The Monday List
Ten Sci-fi Series You've Probably Completely Forgotten About
Star Cops
Hyperdrive
Jason of Star Command
Phoenix 5
Bugs
Moonbase 3
Lexx
The Tripods
Aquila
The Last Train
Star Cops
Hyperdrive
Jason of Star Command
Phoenix 5
Bugs
Moonbase 3
Lexx
The Tripods
Aquila
The Last Train
Sunday 9 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 9 December
It's...
Canada's Godfather of Grunge is also an ascendant of Adge, with sidies still going strong to this day!
Canada's Godfather of Grunge is also an ascendant of Adge, with sidies still going strong to this day!
Adgevent Calendar 2012 8 December
It's…
Isaac Asimov! Isaac ADGE-simov more like! See what we did there? Again.
Isaac Asimov! Isaac ADGE-simov more like! See what we did there? Again.
Thursday 6 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 7 December
It's…
Lemmy! He's no Mary but he has a little lamb – one that hopefully understands that "mutton chops" is just a turn of phrase. No sheep were harmed during the making of this entry, although this one looks like "Uncle Ian" gave it a sneaky slug or three from his bottle of Jack just before the shoot. And for those of you who might argue that this isn't technically Adge, just part of a beard, we say, "It's effing LEMMY, OK?!" And we don't use interrobangs lightly on this site.
Lemmy! He's no Mary but he has a little lamb – one that hopefully understands that "mutton chops" is just a turn of phrase. No sheep were harmed during the making of this entry, although this one looks like "Uncle Ian" gave it a sneaky slug or three from his bottle of Jack just before the shoot. And for those of you who might argue that this isn't technically Adge, just part of a beard, we say, "It's effing LEMMY, OK?!" And we don't use interrobangs lightly on this site.
Adgevent Calendar 2012 6 December
It's…
Richard (OK, RichADGE – we did warn you!) Roundtree as John Shaft!
What's the hair grows on his cheeks
And makes the honeys' knees go weak?
ADGE!
Bristly bushes on his face
As he puts the bad guys in their place
ADGE!
You get the idea.
Richard (OK, RichADGE – we did warn you!) Roundtree as John Shaft!
What's the hair grows on his cheeks
And makes the honeys' knees go weak?
ADGE!
Bristly bushes on his face
As he puts the bad guys in their place
ADGE!
You get the idea.
Wednesday 5 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 – 5 December
It's…
Gaz Coombes formerly out of Supergrass! Why Monkey Man and his ’burns haven't featured in our illustrious (ahem!) line-up before now is a mystery, not to mention a travesty, so here we are putting that right. Maybe we should make some special Adge crackers for Christmas Day, containing stick-on Adge instead of a paper crown and jokes like, "What do men use to keep their sideburns neat and tidy? Gaz Combs!" Gaz released a solo album in May 2012 and co-owns a barn in France.
Tuesday 4 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 – 4 December
It's…
Peter Saarsgaard! Flaunting his SaarsgaADGE! Yes, by now it'll have dawned on you that that you're in for a month of rubbish puns involving the name "Adge". The expression on Peter's face beneath those sculpted sidies probably sums up how you're feeling so we'll apologise to you now. But not to Peter, oh no. He deserves all he gets for being in that steaming heap of knacker that was Flightplan.
Peter Saarsgaard! Flaunting his SaarsgaADGE! Yes, by now it'll have dawned on you that that you're in for a month of rubbish puns involving the name "Adge". The expression on Peter's face beneath those sculpted sidies probably sums up how you're feeling so we'll apologise to you now. But not to Peter, oh no. He deserves all he gets for being in that steaming heap of knacker that was Flightplan.
Monday 3 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 – 3 December
It's…
Isambard Kingdom Brunel himself – the first of our special HeritADGE entries on this year's calendar. We're nothing if not educational, and face it, IKB is COOL and NAILS and stuff. In the run-up to Christmas, he laughs in the face of your puny paper chains.
Isambard Kingdom Brunel himself – the first of our special HeritADGE entries on this year's calendar. We're nothing if not educational, and face it, IKB is COOL and NAILS and stuff. In the run-up to Christmas, he laughs in the face of your puny paper chains.
The Monday List
Ten Things We're Really, Really Bored Of Celebrities Doing
Hosting a 'small, intimate' wedding ceremony for their family and closest friends - and the entire readership of Hello! or OK!
Getting injected with so much Botox their face doesn't move, then putting their suspiciously youthful looks down to 'good genes'
Announcing they're engaged to the co-star of their current film
Breaking off said engagement once they've generated enough publicity for the film in question
Buying handbags that cost more than the GDP of Belgium
Launching their own range of designer knickers
Naming their children after soft fruits and cities on the Indian sub-continent
Having 'meaningful' tattoos on shoulderblades, inner arms or tops of the feet
Owning a tiny, tiny dog which they treat as a dressing-up doll
Trying to convince people the best way to lose weight involves living on maple syrup and fresh air
Hosting a 'small, intimate' wedding ceremony for their family and closest friends - and the entire readership of Hello! or OK!
Getting injected with so much Botox their face doesn't move, then putting their suspiciously youthful looks down to 'good genes'
Announcing they're engaged to the co-star of their current film
Breaking off said engagement once they've generated enough publicity for the film in question
Buying handbags that cost more than the GDP of Belgium
Launching their own range of designer knickers
Naming their children after soft fruits and cities on the Indian sub-continent
Having 'meaningful' tattoos on shoulderblades, inner arms or tops of the feet
Owning a tiny, tiny dog which they treat as a dressing-up doll
Trying to convince people the best way to lose weight involves living on maple syrup and fresh air
Saturday 1 December 2012
Adgevent Calendar 2012 – 2 December
It's…
Kenneth Branagh as Isambard Kingdom Brunel! The main attraction of Danny Boyle's Adgefest, Ken's performance celebrated a man who constructed some of Britain's most magnificent edifices. Then wiped his razor clean and pootled around building a few bridges and stuff.
Kenneth Branagh as Isambard Kingdom Brunel! The main attraction of Danny Boyle's Adgefest, Ken's performance celebrated a man who constructed some of Britain's most magnificent edifices. Then wiped his razor clean and pootled around building a few bridges and stuff.
Happy Sadvent!
Yes, the Sadvent Calendar is back and, by popular demand/just because we could, you know, it's the return of the Adgevent Calendar. So, who's kicking things off?
It's…
Danny Boyle! Why, you ask, given that his sidies in the picture are so small as to be vest-ADGE-ial? Well, as far as we're concerned he's in for bringing us an Olympic Opening Ceremony that was absolutely crawling with mutton chops. Danny, we salute you!
It's…
Danny Boyle! Why, you ask, given that his sidies in the picture are so small as to be vest-ADGE-ial? Well, as far as we're concerned he's in for bringing us an Olympic Opening Ceremony that was absolutely crawling with mutton chops. Danny, we salute you!
Tuesday 27 November 2012
Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day
Nope, this isn't a shot of cage Alex Reid five seconds after he found out Jordan had dumped him. Instead, the scary collection of bulging veins and tattoos belong to that nice Dr Jack out of Lost, now playing a ridiculously manly cage fighter in Alex Cross and proving he does have other expressions in his acting armoury apart from 'perplexed' and 'staring into the middle distance while suffering from trapped wind'...
Monday 26 November 2012
The Monday List
The Top Ten Celebrity Flounce-offs
Preston out of the Ordinary Boys off Never Mind The Buzzcocks
Johnnie Mountain off Great British Menu
Tracey Emin off the Turner Prize debate
The Bee Gees off Clive Anderson All Talk
Donny Tourette out of the Big Brother house
John Nott off Panorama
Paris Hilton off ABC News
Sarah Ferguson off 60 Minutes
Steve Jones off the Piers Morgan show
Russell Crowe off Radio 4's Front Row
Preston out of the Ordinary Boys off Never Mind The Buzzcocks
Johnnie Mountain off Great British Menu
Tracey Emin off the Turner Prize debate
The Bee Gees off Clive Anderson All Talk
Donny Tourette out of the Big Brother house
John Nott off Panorama
Paris Hilton off ABC News
Sarah Ferguson off 60 Minutes
Steve Jones off the Piers Morgan show
Russell Crowe off Radio 4's Front Row
Friday 23 November 2012
The Five-a-side Tache Files
While on the never-ending hunt for men with facial hair they'd rather forget about, our Adge investigators were halted in their tracks by one of most magnificent mullet and five-a-side moustache combos ever witnessed. In a change from our scheduled programming, we bring you a young Stefan Freund. You're welcome.
Monday 19 November 2012
The Monday List
The Ten Most Bizarre Liqueurs Available From The Whisky Exchange
Pinnacle Cotton Candy
Vanilla Frosting Cupcake Vodka
Phillips Shrub Liqueur
Boker’s Bitters
Bols Yoghurt
Ponche Pistachio Diva
Van Wees Rose Without Thorns Liqueur
Briottet Crème de Bergamot
Mavromatis Kumquat
Gabriel Boudier Darjeeling Tea Liqueur
Pinnacle Cotton Candy
Vanilla Frosting Cupcake Vodka
Phillips Shrub Liqueur
Boker’s Bitters
Bols Yoghurt
Ponche Pistachio Diva
Van Wees Rose Without Thorns Liqueur
Briottet Crème de Bergamot
Mavromatis Kumquat
Gabriel Boudier Darjeeling Tea Liqueur
Friday 16 November 2012
Thursday 15 November 2012
Hi! We're Muse!
Just when you thought this strip couldn't get any cheesier!
Click on the picture to avoid eyestrain!
Click on the picture to avoid eyestrain!
Monday 12 November 2012
The Monday List
Ten Subjects We're Really, Really Bored Of Seeing As Themes For TV Programmes
Gypsies
Cake decoration
Auctions
House renovation
The horrors of binge drinking
Hoarding
Pawning furniture
The Second World War
Beauty pageants
The Kardashians
Gypsies
Cake decoration
Auctions
House renovation
The horrors of binge drinking
Hoarding
Pawning furniture
The Second World War
Beauty pageants
The Kardashians
Saturday 10 November 2012
The Adge Files
Here's a new Adge concept – sausAdge, as modelled by Paul Clark, a butcher who created a sausage to celebrate the success of Planet Sad favourite Bradley "BrAdgely" Wiggins. They look like they'd be especially tasty with mutton chops, Paul, and let's hope you stock spare ribs too, as poor Bradley may need some following his recent prang. Get well soon, Bradley!
Monday 5 November 2012
The Monday List
Ten Great Firework Names
Glitzy Blitz
Angels v Demons
Stealth Bomber
Dr Thrust
Armageddon
King Hell
Giddy Aunties In A Spin
Screaming Spiders
Atomic Meltdown
Falling Leaves
Glitzy Blitz
Angels v Demons
Stealth Bomber
Dr Thrust
Armageddon
King Hell
Giddy Aunties In A Spin
Screaming Spiders
Atomic Meltdown
Falling Leaves
Monday 29 October 2012
The Monday List
Ten More Sitcoms You've Probably Completely Forgotten About
Colin's Sandwich
They Came From Somewhere Else
Mike Bassett: Manager
Faith In The Future
Up The Elephant and Round The Castle
Is It Legal?
French Fields
Agony Again
Whoops Apocalypse
Oh, Doctor Beeching!
Colin's Sandwich
They Came From Somewhere Else
Mike Bassett: Manager
Faith In The Future
Up The Elephant and Round The Castle
Is It Legal?
French Fields
Agony Again
Whoops Apocalypse
Oh, Doctor Beeching!
Sunday 28 October 2012
Monday 22 October 2012
The Monday List
The Ten Worst Band Names Of All Time
Mr. Mister
Hoobastank
An Emotional Fish
Iglu & Hartly
Toad The Wet Sprocket
Kitchens of Distinction
You've Got Foetus On Your Breath
Son Of Dork
Classix Nouveaux
FE-M@IL
Mr. Mister
Hoobastank
An Emotional Fish
Iglu & Hartly
Toad The Wet Sprocket
Kitchens of Distinction
You've Got Foetus On Your Breath
Son Of Dork
Classix Nouveaux
FE-M@IL
Thursday 18 October 2012
The Adge Files
Wednesday 17 October 2012
Amazing 'Scotland's Goose Is Cooked!' Lookalikes
Tuesday 16 October 2012
Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day
Monday 15 October 2012
The Monday List
Five ways you know a man's having a mid-life crisis...
Trading in the wife for a model twenty years her junior
Getting an earring
Wearing a 'distressed' leather jacket
Buying an eff-off Harley Davidson he can't ride properly
Starting a rock band
...and five ways you know a woman's having a mid-life crisis
Going on holiday to the Gambia and marrying a young man she meets there
Getting a tattoo of a dolphin/devil/red rose in an 'intimate' place
Wearing dresses that are deliberately too short and one size too tight
Trying to make strangers mistake her and her daughter for sisters
Finding John Inverdale strangely hot
Trading in the wife for a model twenty years her junior
Getting an earring
Wearing a 'distressed' leather jacket
Buying an eff-off Harley Davidson he can't ride properly
Starting a rock band
...and five ways you know a woman's having a mid-life crisis
Going on holiday to the Gambia and marrying a young man she meets there
Getting a tattoo of a dolphin/devil/red rose in an 'intimate' place
Wearing dresses that are deliberately too short and one size too tight
Trying to make strangers mistake her and her daughter for sisters
Finding John Inverdale strangely hot
Monday 8 October 2012
The Monday List
And Yet Another Ten Overused Pieces Of Background Music
How You Like Me Now? - The Heavy
Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine
The Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin
Gold on the Ceiling - The Black Keys
One Day Like This - Elbow
Black and White Town - Doves
Woo Hoo - 5, 6, 7, 8s
Phat Planet - Leftfield
A-Punk - Vampire Weekend
The Race - Yello
How You Like Me Now? - The Heavy
Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine
The Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin
Gold on the Ceiling - The Black Keys
One Day Like This - Elbow
Black and White Town - Doves
Woo Hoo - 5, 6, 7, 8s
Phat Planet - Leftfield
A-Punk - Vampire Weekend
The Race - Yello
Monday 1 October 2012
The Monday List
The Ten Posters That Have Appeared On Most Student Bedroom Walls
Che Guevara
Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher: Gone With The Wind
A monkey sitting on the toilet
Pulp Fiction
'I Like The Pope, The Pope Smokes Dope'
A knickerless tennis player scratching her bum
An arty black and white shot of a naked man holding a baby
Kurt Cobain smoking
'Why?'
Anything by Boris Vallejo
Che Guevara
Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher: Gone With The Wind
A monkey sitting on the toilet
Pulp Fiction
'I Like The Pope, The Pope Smokes Dope'
A knickerless tennis player scratching her bum
An arty black and white shot of a naked man holding a baby
Kurt Cobain smoking
'Why?'
Anything by Boris Vallejo
Tuesday 25 September 2012
Kim Coates Is Very Disappointed In You
Monday 24 September 2012
The Monday List
Ten Questions That Aren't Answered By The Lyrics Of The Song
Alice What's The Matter?
Why Don't We Do It In The Road?
Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?
When Will I Be Famous?
What Do I Get?
Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?
Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?
Who Let The Dogs Out?
Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?
What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?
Alice What's The Matter?
Why Don't We Do It In The Road?
Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?
When Will I Be Famous?
What Do I Get?
Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?
Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?
Who Let The Dogs Out?
Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?
What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?
Tuesday 18 September 2012
The Adge Files
All the way from Italian rugby union, where they do things with their own particular style, we witness the spectacular sight of Paul Griffen's penumbra of dreadlocks circling a glorious constellation of Adge. Truly dedication to manscaping above and beyond the call of duty...
Monday 17 September 2012
The Monday List
A Further Ten People Who Always Look Like They’re About To Cry
Justin Timberlake
David Wheater
Wentworth Miller
Jennifer Aniston
Nemanja Vidic
Bear Grylls
Mischa Barton
Clint Dempsey
Gwyneth Paltrow
Mark Cavendish
Justin Timberlake
David Wheater
Wentworth Miller
Jennifer Aniston
Nemanja Vidic
Bear Grylls
Mischa Barton
Clint Dempsey
Gwyneth Paltrow
Mark Cavendish
Wednesday 12 September 2012
Monday 10 September 2012
Sunday 9 September 2012
The Monday List
Ten People Who've Got The Advertising Voiceover Market All Sewn Up
Ralph Ineson
Maria McErlane
Adrian Bower
David Morrissey
Julie Walters
Paddy McGuinness
Jane Horrocks
John Thomson
Miranda Hart
Harry Hill
Ralph Ineson
Maria McErlane
Adrian Bower
David Morrissey
Julie Walters
Paddy McGuinness
Jane Horrocks
John Thomson
Miranda Hart
Harry Hill
Wednesday 5 September 2012
Monday 3 September 2012
Planet Sad - In Memoriam
Sir Rhodes Boyson - truly we will never see the likes of such mutton chops again in our time. Please pay a respectful moment's silence to their whiskery magnificence.
The Monday List
Ten Children's Programmes You've Probably Completely Forgotten About
Round The Bend
8.15 From Manchester
Robert's Robots
Jigsaw
CBTV
Pardon My Genie
The Feathered Serpent
Sam on Boff's Island
Pigeon Street
Renford Rejects
Round The Bend
8.15 From Manchester
Robert's Robots
Jigsaw
CBTV
Pardon My Genie
The Feathered Serpent
Sam on Boff's Island
Pigeon Street
Renford Rejects
Monday 27 August 2012
The Monday List
Ten Things That Are Smaller In Real Life Than People Expect
Stonehenge
The Mona Lisa
The Little Mermaid
Plymouth Rock
Concorde
The Manneken Pis
Brighton Pavilion
The Alamo
The Venus of Willendorf
Fatima Whitbread
Stonehenge
The Mona Lisa
The Little Mermaid
Plymouth Rock
Concorde
The Manneken Pis
Brighton Pavilion
The Alamo
The Venus of Willendorf
Fatima Whitbread
Monday 20 August 2012
The Monday List
Ten Music Videos That Feature Horses
Knights of Cydonia - Muse
Frontier Psychiatrist - The Avalanches
Feel - Robbie Williams
Black Velvet - Alannah Myles
Stand And Deliver - Adam and the Ants
The Death Of You And Me - Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
Trouble - Pink
Kings and Queens - 30 Seconds to Mars
For Reasons Unknown - The Killers
Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
Knights of Cydonia - Muse
Frontier Psychiatrist - The Avalanches
Feel - Robbie Williams
Black Velvet - Alannah Myles
Stand And Deliver - Adam and the Ants
The Death Of You And Me - Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
Trouble - Pink
Kings and Queens - 30 Seconds to Mars
For Reasons Unknown - The Killers
Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
Tuesday 14 August 2012
Looks Like...
...Justin Theroux's taking the prospect of being married to Jennifer Aniston quite calmly and rationally, then.
Monday 13 August 2012
The Monday List
The Ten Most Suggestive Adam Ant Song Titles
Whip In My Valise
Physical (You're So)
Beat My Guest
Human Bondage Den
S.E.X.
Mohair Lockeroom Pin-up Boys
Good Sex Rumples the Clothing
Doggy Style
Strip
Survival Of The Fetish
Whip In My Valise
Physical (You're So)
Beat My Guest
Human Bondage Den
S.E.X.
Mohair Lockeroom Pin-up Boys
Good Sex Rumples the Clothing
Doggy Style
Strip
Survival Of The Fetish
Wednesday 8 August 2012
The Adge Files
Filed under 'Why, exactly?', we have Jackson Galaxy, presenter of My Cat From Hell, with what our investigators believe to be one of Donald Trump's old hairpieces perched on his right shoulder...
Tuesday 7 August 2012
Reality Show Stars' Dads Who Look Like Dinner Ladies
No 1 in an oh, we think you know where this is going: JWoww out of Jersey Shore's dad - er, Mr Woww
Monday 6 August 2012
The Monday List
Ten Things We're Really, Really Bored Of With The Olympics
Hearing the US national anthem during every other medal ceremony
People still whinging about not being able to get any tickets/the opening ceremony/their taxes paying for it all
Adverts featuring slow-motion shots of athletes looking 'motivational' - for which read vaguely constipated
Mark Lawrenson grumping his way through the coverage of the Team GB football games
Armchair pundits who are suddenly experts on rhythmic gymnastics/smallbore shooting/Yngling
Gratuitous crotch shots masquerading as the coverage of women's beach volleyball
Windsurfing being taken seriously as an Olympic sport
Tom Daley's teeny-tiny Speedos
The inevitable musical montages to introduce/wrap up the action in any particular event
Usain chuffing Bolt
Hearing the US national anthem during every other medal ceremony
People still whinging about not being able to get any tickets/the opening ceremony/their taxes paying for it all
Adverts featuring slow-motion shots of athletes looking 'motivational' - for which read vaguely constipated
Mark Lawrenson grumping his way through the coverage of the Team GB football games
Armchair pundits who are suddenly experts on rhythmic gymnastics/smallbore shooting/Yngling
Gratuitous crotch shots masquerading as the coverage of women's beach volleyball
Windsurfing being taken seriously as an Olympic sport
Tom Daley's teeny-tiny Speedos
The inevitable musical montages to introduce/wrap up the action in any particular event
Usain chuffing Bolt
Sunday 5 August 2012
Congratulations, Andy Murray!
This will be on its way to you, just as soon as we've had it fitted with a Jimmy wig...
Thursday 2 August 2012
Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day
Tuesday 31 July 2012
Monday 30 July 2012
The Monday List
Son of Ten Songs By Artists You've Never Heard Of Before, Since or During - Eighties Edition!
Keeping The Dream Alive - Freiheit
Cry - Waterfront
Lean on Me - Red Box
Is Vic There? - Department S
C'est La Vie - Robbie Nevil
I Won't Let You Down - PhD
What's The Colour of Money? - Hollywood Beyond
Let it All Blow - Dazz Band
Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone) - Glass Tiger
Drowning In Berlin - Mobiles
Keeping The Dream Alive - Freiheit
Cry - Waterfront
Lean on Me - Red Box
Is Vic There? - Department S
C'est La Vie - Robbie Nevil
I Won't Let You Down - PhD
What's The Colour of Money? - Hollywood Beyond
Let it All Blow - Dazz Band
Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone) - Glass Tiger
Drowning In Berlin - Mobiles
Sunday 29 July 2012
Saturday 28 July 2012
30th OlympiADGE!
Danny Boyle, Planet Sad salutes you!
For celebrating the role of Adge in Great Britain's rich heritage. Mutton chops and naked flames are usually a risky combination, but oh, how you pulled it off.
Friday 27 July 2012
The Adge Files
Deep in The Adge Files lurks a piece of grease-stained piece of paper that appears to have been singed while someone was smoking a fag, and bears only the words 'Wayne Slob'. Though based on the pictorial evidence, our investigators believe Wayne only grew sideburns because he was simply too lazy to shave the whole of his face...
Thursday 26 July 2012
Planet Sad Gets Sexy
Now that it's all about erotic fiction, we've decided to offer you some quality reading to arouse your senses and inflame your passions:
Or you can always go for this derivative, bandwagon-jumping shower of poorly written smut-shite:
(He promised to lay off moithering us for 'a go' for a few days if we gave them a plug, OK?'
Or you can always go for this derivative, bandwagon-jumping shower of poorly written smut-shite:
(He promised to lay off moithering us for 'a go' for a few days if we gave them a plug, OK?'
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