Arise, Sir Andy Murray!

But you do realise that from now on you'll have to play tennis wearing this...

The Monday List

Cheers! Planet Sad's Ten Favourite Bizarrely Named Christmas Beers 

Mistletoe Bliss - Lazy Boy Brewing
Tsjeeses - De Struise Brouwers
Santa's Little Helper - Port Brewing
F**k de Kerstboom Staat in de Fik!! (F**k, the Christmas Tree's On Fire!) - Het Uiltje
Old Fezziwig Ale - Samuel Adams
Avec Les Bons Voeux De La Brasserie Dupont (With The Best Wishes of Brasserie Dupont) - Brasserie Dupont
Feast of Fools - Magic Hat
Vinter Varmer - Laurelwood
The Mad Elf Holiday Ale - Troegs
Santa's Butt Holiday Porter - Ridgeway

On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas, Planet Sad Gave To Me...

Dinner lady rock stars
The Manneken Pis Santa
Buff Belgian cows
A dog that looks like Jack Black
Potato Leto
Jerry the Pool Boy

BEAR CHUFF-FING GRYLLS
Me... Calvin Tran
Hi we're Muse!
Uncle Peter Steele
And George Clooney with his sex ramp

And don't forget, readers, if Clooney does show up on your front lawn during the festive season, give him a mince pie and a glass of sherry before you send him away with a flea in his ear. It is Christmas, after all!

Great Random Moments In Fashion History

No 16: Will.i.am. Will you stop, more like...

The Monday List

The Ten Albums On The Planet Sad Gramophone This Christmas

A Partridge Family Christmas Carol
Christmas With Buck Owens and His Buckaroos
Merry Ole Soul - Duke Pearson
Happy Clucking Holidays
A Christmas Sing With Bing Around The World - Bing Crosby
Pokemon Christmas Bash
The 4 Seasons Greetings - The Four Seasons
Daddy Plays: Lullaby Christmas
A Chipmunk Christmas - Alvin and the Chipmunks
Snoop Dogg Presents Christmas In The Dogg House

Rock Stars Who Look Like Dinner Ladies

No 33: Mike Dirnt out of Green Day

Great Random Moments In Musical History

No 15: Steve Hogarth out of Marillion realises, a few moments too late, that the rest of the band have not taken part in the Daz Challenge...

The Monday List

Ten Completely Unnecessary Cover Versions - Christmas Edition

Santa Baby - Kylie Minogue
Last Christmas - Whigfield
Happy Xmas (War Is Over) - The Fray
2000 Miles - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Driving Home For Christmas - Stacey Solomon
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - Bruce Springsteen
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Michael Buble
Fairytale of New York - Ronan Keating and Maire Brennan
When A Child Is Born - Il Divo
White Christmas - Paul Di'Anno

Jean-Claude Van Damme out of Hard Target...

...wash your hair!

The Monday List

Ten Songs That Have The Names Of London Underground Stations In Their Titles

Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks
The Paddington Frisk - Enter Shikari
Morden - Good Shoes
Guns of Brixton - The Clash
Warwick Avenue - Duffy
Mornington Crescent - Belle and Sebastian
Plaistow Patricia - Ian Dury and the Blockheads
London Bridge - Fergie
Baker Street - Gerry Rafferty
Camden Town - Suggs

The Monday List

Ten More Horror Films For People Who Find Horror Films A Little Too Scary

Drag Me To Hull
Quatermass And The Pet
It Doesn't Follow
Slumber Party Pillow Fight
The Hills Have Nice, Soft Grass
I Spit On Your Gravy
Pomeranian Creek
Little Shop of Bargains
Treat or Treat
John Lives At The End

The Monday List

Look, Ladies, It's Ten Further Music Videos That Feature Horses... You're Welcome

Funeral of Hearts - Him
Blue Orchid - White Stripes
Season In The Abyss - Slayer
Visions in Blue - Ultravox
Beautiful War - Kings of Leon
Cucurucu - Nick Mulvey
Loverboy - Billy Ocean
Love Runs Out - One Republic
Get Off - Dandy Warhols
That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

The Monday List

Ten Musicians Who've Appeared As Themselves On Family Guy

Barry Manilow
Kevin Cronin out of REO Speedwagon
Ann Murray
Jason Mraz
Gene Simmons out of Kiss
Carly Simon
Ann Wilson out of Heart
Adam Levine
Mick Hucknall
Louis Tomlinson out of One Direction

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 14: A 1:1 scale replica of Lionel Messi

The Monday List

The Return Of Ten Novelty Hits You've Probably Completely Forgotten About

Chalk Dust - The Brat
Loadsamoney (Doin' Up The House) - Harry Enfield
The Stonk - Hale and Pace
Black Pudding Bertha - The Goodies
King Of The Cops - Billy Howard
One Pound Fish - £1 Fish Man
Ullo John! Got A New Motor - Alexei Sayle
Stutter Rap (No Sleep Til Bedtime) - Morris Minor and the Majors
Y Viva Suspenders - Judge Dread
Renta Santa - Chris Hill

The Monday List

Ten Movie Characters Who Have Artifical Limbs, Just Because They Can

Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) - Mad Max: Fury Road
Parker Barnes (Denzel Washington) - Virtuosity
Dikko Henderson (Charles Grey) - You Only Live Twice
C.A. Rotwang (Rudolph Klein-Rogge) - Metropolis
Del Spooner (Will Smith) - I, Robot
Inspector Kemp (Kenneth Mars) - Young Frankenstein
Aubrey Fleming (Lindsay Lohan) - I Know Who Killed Me
Tee Hee (Julius Harris) - Live And Let Die
Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell) - The Hitchhikers' Guide To The Galaxy
Dr Strangelove (Peter Sellers) - Dr Strangelove: Or How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Bomb

The Monday List

The Ten Most Manly Jason Statham Character Names

Lee Christmas (The Expendables)
Jericho Butler (Ghosts of Mars)
Chev Chelios (Crank)
Deckard Shaw (Fast & Furious 7)
Phil Broker (Homefront)
Jensen Ames (Death Race)
Terry Leather (The Bank Job)
Frank Martin (The Transporter)
Evan Funsch (The One)
Nick Wild (Wild Card)

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 13: Either Nelson Mandela or a South African dinner lady...

Today's Young, Thin Alec Baldwin Moment

With great hotness comes great shirt moustache...

The Monday List

Ten More Of Roger The Alien Out Of American Dad's Best Persona Names

LeVar Crush
Sholanda Dykes
Applebee McFridays
Horse Renoir
Luke Fondelberg
Madelyn Carpal-Tunnel
Twill Ongebone
Roy Rogers McFreely
Abigail Lemonparty
Demitri Krotchliknioff

The Adge Files – Ross Kananga

Ross was Roger Moore's stunt double for the iconic croc-hopping scene in Live And Let Die, and he ended up getting 193 stitches in the process. Sadly, he's no longer with us – he survived an attack by 'Satan', one of his pet black leopards, only to die of cardiac arrest at the age of just 32, while spear-fishing in the Everglades. But in this ever-changing world in which we live in, at least one thing remains constant – our admiration for his magnificent ADGE. We like to imagine that those MANLY sidies are still at large in the wilds of Florida today, feeding off UNENDANGERED SPECIES but maybe clogging up the fan of the occasional airboat for shits and giggles. Then emerging from the blades unscathed, because of course they bloody would.

The Monday List

Ten More Musicians/Bands Who Are Mentioned In Other Bands' Lyrics

Mr Mister (Hey Soul Sister, Train)
Iron Maiden (Teenage Dirtbag, Wheatus)
James Brown (Genius of Love, Tom Tom Club)
Shangri-Las (R.O.C.K. In The USA, John Cougar Mellencamp)
Lou Rawls (Sweet Soul Music, Arthur Conley)
Aretha Franklin (Tribute, Pasadenas)
Marilyn Manson (You Get What You Give, The New Radicals)
Buddy Holly (Reasons To Be Cheerful (Part Three), Ian Dury and the Blockheads)
Frank Zappa (Smoke On The Water, Deep Purple)
Benny Goodman (If It Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow)

The Monday List

Ten Animals That Have Their Own Twitter Feeds

Len, the Redchurch Brewery Cat
The Horniman Museum Walrus
Clyde the turtle out of Elementary
Boo the Alpaca
Gladys and Pixie, Brix Smith Start's pugs
The Bronx Zoo's cobra
Grumpy Cat
The Aflac Duck
Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund
Charlie Guinea Pig

Get Well Soon, Rick Parfitt

After all, those school dinners aren't going to serve themselves...

The Monday List

The Return Of Ten Things We're Really, Really Bored Of On TV

People who all work in the same profession being turned into a choir
High-concept dystopian sci-fi series that end up not making any sense
Reality shows about bailiffs
Cookery programmes that appear to be excuses for celebrity chefs to get fancy paid-for holidays
Moody Nordic crime dramas featuring socially awkward detectives
English language remakes of moody Nordic crime dramas featuring socially awkward detectives
People being judged on their ability to cook dinner for someone else
Mid-afternoon quiz shows hosted by Matt Allwright and/or Gabby Logan 
Reality shows about people on benefits
Bear chuffing Grylls

Great Random Moments In Fashion History

No 25: Dencia arrives at the Grammys in an outfit even Katie Price would consider a tad too pink...

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 12: Come on, Andy Murray!

The Monday List

Yet Another Ten Music Videos That Feature Policemen
The Downfall Of Us All - A Day To Remember
No Son Of Mine - Genesis
Time and Time Again - Papa Roach
A.D.I.D.A.S. - Korn
Sleep Now In The Fire - Rage Against The Machine
Where The Streets Have No Name - U2
Show Me How To Live - Audioslave
Secret Garden - T'Pau
Save Me - Aimee Mann
Trouble - Iggy Azalea

Planet Sad's Ridiculously Jabot-y Still Of The Day

From the BBC's Versailles:

'And of course, Madame, after I am brutally guillotined by the mob, my fine collection of stupidly flouncy neckwear will be donated to Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen...'

Amazing 'Lookalikes Are For Closers' Lookalikes!

Yes, it's Alec Baldwin and Watford manager, Walter Marrazzi. We've never seen Alec in the dugout at Vicarage Road, but given the way they've been getting through coaching staff in the last couple of seasons it can only be a matter of time...

Harrison Ford Is Very Disappointed In You

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 11: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. We had a really great 'Water Music' gag lined up, and then we remembered Handel wrote that. Chiz.

The Monday List

Ten Of Roger The Alien Out Of American Dad's Best Persona Names

Krispy Kreme McDonald
Jenny Fromdabloc
Scotch Bingington
Betty Bea Getty McLanahan
Reaganomics Lamborghini
Chex LeMemeneux
Ruby Zeldastein
Braf Zachland
Laura Vanderbooben
Captain Francois Dubonais

The Monday List

Ten Songs By Acts You've Never Heard Of Before, Since Or During - Instrumental Edition

Strings For Yasmin - Tin Tin Out
Mouldy Old Dough - Lieutenant Pigeon
Flat Beat - Mr Oizo
Children - Robert Miles
Harlem Shake - Bauuer
Popcorn - Hot Butter
Infinity - Guru Josh
The Birdie Song - The Tweets
Classical Gas - Mason Williams
Doop - Doop

The Monday List

Ten Books We'd Like To See Turned Into West End Musicals

120 Days Of Sodom
The Road
Everybody Poops
The Gulag Archipelago
A Brief History Of Time
Slugs
We Need To Talk About Kevin
Delia Smith's One Is Fun!
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
The AA Road Atlas of Britain

Amazing 'You Wouldn't Let It Lie!' Lookalikes

Yes, it's Bob 'The Smell of Reeves and...' Mortimer and Sheffield Wednesday manager, Carlos Carvalhal. We think we know how to tell the two of them apart. One's part of a famous team responsible for a series of surreal comedy performances, and the other one is Bob Mortimer...

The Monday List

Ten Things We're Really, Really Bored Of In Dystopian Sci-fi

A different and special teenager who is destined to overthrow the evil regime
Everyone having perfectly styled hair in a post-apocalyptic world
The construct of society being an experiment by a twisted scientist within the community
The construct of society being an experiment by some unseen group outside the community
A love triangle featuring two hunks with all the personality of a piece of flat-pack furniture
Chucking in zombies just for the hell of it
Everything being an allegory for whatever war the US in engaged in at the time
Everything being an allegory for reality TV
Trilogies that are split into four parts to extend the film franchise
Shailene chuffing Woodley

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall Is Very Disappointed In You

The Monday List

Ten Music Videos That Feature Incredibly Famous Movie Stars
I Really Like You, Carly Rae Jepsen - Tom Hanks
Out Of The Game, Rufus Wainwright - Helena Bonham Carter
Weapon Of Choice, Fatboy Slim - Christopher Walken
Last Dance With Mary Jane, Tom Petty - Kim Basinger
I Want Love, Elton John - Robert Downey Jr
Lovers On The Sun, David Guetta - Ray Liotta
When The Deal Goes Down, Bob Dylan - Scarlett Johansson
Stylo, Gorillaz - Bruce Willis
Don't Worry, Be Happy, Bobby McFerrin - Robin Williams
Hero, Enrique Iglesias - Angelina Jolie

The Monday List

Would You Believe It's Ten More Completely Unnecessary Cover Versions

Crash - Matt Willis
The Time Warp - Damian
Without You - Mariah Carey
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Nikki French
Boys Of Summer - Ataris
Under The Bridge - All Saints
Glad All Over - Suzi Quatro
Papa Don't Preach - Kelly Osbourne
Heaven - DJ Sammy
The Locomotion - Kylie Minogue

Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day

And here's Matt Damon being ridiculously manly in a still from Jason Bourne (aka We've So Run Out Of Bourne Puns We Nearly Called This One The Bourne Mouth). Oooh, he's all shirtless and about to put somebody's face back in front of a mildly indifferent crowd. Does it get more manly than that? Er, probably.

The Monday List

Ten TV Science Programmes You've Probably Completely Forgotten About

The Big Science
The Investigators
Eureka!
Science Shack
Young Scientists of the Year
Hollywood Science
Don't Ask Me
Don't Just Sit There
Rough Science
The Tomorrow's World Roadshow

Congratulations Yet Again, Andy Murray!

And here's your inevitable cow for winning Wimbledon and then having a little cry. Though we went for a buff Belgian one this time. Just because we could, you understand...

The Monday List

Ten Musicians/Bands Who Are Mentioned In Other Bands' Lyrics

Bob Marley (Give It Away, Red Hot Chili Peppers)
T. Rex (You Better You Bet, The Who)
Britney Spears (The Real Slim Shady, Eminem)
Kiss (Strong, Robbie Williams)
Michael Jackson (Year 3000, Busted)
Neil Young (Sweet Home Alabama, Lynyrd Skynryd)
Elvis Presley (We Didn't Start The Fire, Billy Joel)
Johnny Cash (American Badass, Kid Rock)
Al Green (Goody Two Shoes, Adam Ant)
Limp Bizkit (1985, Bowling For Soup)

The Monday List

The Ten Most Bizarrely Named Liqueurs From 'T Nieuwe Diep Distillery, Amsterdam

Bittere Lijdenstroost (Bitter Consolation)
Bruidstranen (Bride's Tears)
Drie Maal Drie (Three Times Three)
Hansje In De Kelder (Hansel In The Cellar)
Hoe Langer Hoe Liever (The Longer The Better)
Juffertje in 'T Groen (Missy In The Green)
Kwartier Voor Vijfen (Quarter To Five)
Naveltje Bloot (Naked Navel)
Roosje Zonder Dornen (Rose Without Thorns)
Volmaakt Geluk (Perfect Happiness)

The Monday List

Ten Music Videos Made By Surprisingly Famous Film Directors

I Would Do Anything For Love - Meatloaf (Michael Bay)
Bones - The Killers (Tim Burton)
All Star - Smash Mouth (McG)
Tomorrow - Morrissey (Zack Snyder)
Fast As You Can - Fiona Apple (Paul Thomas Anderson)
Sabotage - The Beastie Boys (Spike Jonze)
Vogue - Madonna (David Fincher)
Negasonic Teenage Warhead - Monster Magnet (Gore Verbinski)
Enjoy The Silence - Depeche Mode (Anton Corbijn)
Star Guitar - The Chemical Brothers (Michel Gondry)

The Monday List

The Ten Most Manly Character Names in Clive Cussler Novels

Dirk Pitt
Conger Rand
Sam Fargo
Rudi Gunn
Sal Casio
Jake Hobart
Kurt Austin
Ben Drummer
Foss Gly
Mike Trono

The Monday List

Ten Songs By Acts You've Never Heard Of Before, Since Or During - Rock and Metal Edition

In The Shadows - The Rasmus
Three Little Pigs - Green Jelly
The Warrior - Scandal
Black Betty - Ram Jam
I Alone - Live
Broken - Seether
Pretend We're Dead - L7
Nothing - A
Harden My Heart - Quarterflash
When Your Heart Stops Beating - +44

The Monday List

A Matter Of The Great Escape From Stalug Luft 633 Squadron Is Missing

It's Bank Holiday weekend again, and that means most TV channels will be showing a classic war film. So here at Planet Sad Towers, we'll be plonked in front of the telly with a packet or six of Barbecue Beef Monster Munch, waiting to spot these particular characters:

A sadistic German camp commandant sporting a monocle
Someone on an upper bunk in the POW's quarters, playing a mournful tune on the harmonica
A spy parachuting behind enemy lines, dressed as a nun
A doomed airman whose burning plane is being talked down by a beautiful radio controller
Some shipwrecked seaman, clinging to a piece of flotsam in shark-infested waters
A pair of Land Girls, probably called Lil and Flo
Some children being evacuated from London, waiting on a railway station platform clutching cardboard suitcases and with their name on a label pinned to their coat
Steve McQueen, jumping over something on a huge, shiny motorbike just because he can
An American GI getting off with the local girls by giving them chocolate and nylons
The private who talks about the sweetheart he'll be going back to once the fighting ends, and is therefore a dead man walking
A couple of POWs walking around surreptitiously dispensing earth from the escape tunnel that's being dug in the compound
Donald Pleasance, trying to persuade everyone else he can see
The new recruit to the platoon, who will meet a nasty end before anyone has actually learned his name
Someone's pet Labrador with a name that's highly inappropriate name to modern ears
A couple of Japanese soldiers who haven't realised the war is over
Noel chuffing Coward

The Monday List

Ten More Comedy Sketch Shows You've Probably Completely Forgotten About

Hello Mum
Barking
TV Go Home
Rock With Laughter
Jo Brand Through The Cakehole
Tittybangbang
The Kevin Bishop Show
Alfresco
Who Dares Wins...
Blunder

Nathan Fillion Is Very Disappointed In You

The Monday List

Ten Musicians/Bands Who Have Cameos In Other Bands' Videos

The Specials (Driving In My Car, Madness)
Salon Kitty (Wannabe, The Spice Girls)
Paul McCartney (They Don't Know, Tracey Ullman)
Kid Rock (Rockstar, Nickelback)
Jonathan Davies out of Korn (Break Stuff, Limp Bizkit)
Kaiser Chiefs (Oh My God, Mark Ronson/Lily Allen)
Lemmy (Running Free, Airbourne)
Mark Hopus out of Blink 182 (Weightless, All Time Low)
Beck (The Hardest Button To Button, White Stripes)
Stevie Nicks (Bootylicious, Destiny's Child)

The Monday List

Ten More Weird Valspar Paint Names

Peruvian Pom Pom
Hello Prism
City Arboretum
Lofty Delight
Timid Absinthe
Coastal Jetty
Sunset Curtains
Leprechaun Laugh
Pronghorn
Baked Bahama

Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day

At first, we thought this was an out-take from one of Idris Elba's Sky Box Set ads, after he'd got tired of cajoling viewers to binge-watch Game Of Thrones and resorted to plain old-fashioned violence instead. Then we realised he's just being incredibly manly in a still from Bastille Day, and once he's put the gun down he's going to twig he's in a French high-concept thriller and go do the requisite twenty minutes of parkour through the Ninth Arrondissement...

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 10: a dustman. We think. It might be the Kwik-fit Fitter. You can tell we really put a lot of research into these things, can't you?

The Monday List

The Not At All Cliched Return Of Ten Gang Names Taken From TV Tropes.org We'd Like To See In A Remake Of The Warriors

The Fighting Narcissists
The Apron Matrons
The Drunken Sailors
The Gratuitous Animal Sidekicks
The Useless Boyfriends
The Green-skinned Space Babes
The Innocent Bystanders
The Tiny Schoolboys
The Obi-Wannabes
The Mary Sues

These Dogues de Bordeaux…

…are very disappointed in you.

The Monday List

The Return Of Ten Music Videos That Are Homages To Classic Films
Sunday Morning Call - Oasis (One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest)
Love's Great Adventure - Ultravox (Raiders of the Lost Ark)
Rush Rush - Paula Abdul (Rebel Without A Cause)
In Too Deep - Belinda Carlisle (La Dolce Vita)
Nightmare - Avenged Sevenfold (Jacob's Ladder)
To The End - Blur (Last Year At Marienbad)
Best Of Me - The Starting Line (Say Anything...)
Mr Brightside - The Killers (Moulin Rouge)
Everlong - Foo Fighters (The Evil Dead)
Fancy - Iggy Azalea (Clueless)

The Monday List

Ten More Albums That Need To Be Performed Live In Their Entirety
Winifred Atwell Plays A Further Fifty All Time Favourites
Railroad Sounds Steam and Diesel
Keep Fit With Eileen Fowler
Bob The Builder: The Album
Art Of Love - The Kama Sutra
A Field Guide To The Bird Songs Of Britain And Europe - An Introductory Selection
The Fruity Bits Of Ivor Biggun
Crazy Frog Presents More Crazy Hits
Christmas With Colonel Sanders
Facial Exercises For Beauty, Glamour And Personality

The Monday List

Ten Young Adult Franchises That Sound Like Band Names
Percy Jackson and the Olympians
The Mortal Instruments
Everworld
House Of Night
Chrystal Falls
His Dark Materials
Cirque du Freak
Monster Blood Tattoo
The Joshua Files
Balefire

The Monday List

Ten Films That Surprisingly Have Their Own Board Game

Dawn Of The Dead
Escape From New York
300
Alien
Congo
Small Soldiers
Beowulf
Dune
Waterworld
The Mask

Once upon a time, there was a little birdie…

…who looked like Henry Rollins.

The Monday List

Ten Television Programmes That Are Mentioned In Song Lyrics
The X-Files (Bad Touch, The Bloodhound Gang)
Wheel Of Fortune (We Didn't Start The Fire, Billy Joel)
Top Of The Pops (Top Of The Pops, X-Ray Spex)
South Park (Gorgeous, Kanye West)
Dynasty (Kiss, Prince)
Peyton Place (Harper Valley PTA, Jeannie C. Riley)
The Sweeney (Cool For Cats, Squeeze)
The Rockford Files (Battle Of Who Could Care Less, Ben Folds Five)
Match Of The Day (Match Of The Day, Genesis)
Dallas (The Day Before You Came, Abba)

Music And Whimsical Popular Culture Writers Who Look Like Dinner Ladies

No 1 (like there'll be any more): Stuart Maconie

The Monday List

The Return Of Ten People Who Are A Bit Too Pleased With Themselves

Robert Peston
Victoria Pendleton
Sam Allardyce
Tim Lovejoy
Katherine Ryan
Karl Robinson who manages MK Dons
Rachel Khoo
Michael Mosley
Michelle Obama
Everyone who's ever been an Egghead on Eggheads

Great Random Moments In 'Why Do People Wear These?' History

No 2: The suspiciously false beard the chap on the left is sporting. Because there's a perfectly valid reason for Madonna dressing like the clown out of Stephen King's IT. Just give us several months to think of it...

The Monday List

Ten Film Prequels We Didn't Realise They Made

Marley and Me: The Puppy Years
Leprechaun: Origins
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
Butch And Sundance: The Early Years
The Scorpion King: Rise Of A Warrior
Dominion: Prequel To The Exorcist
Carlito's Way: Rise To Power
Caravan Of Courage: An Ewok Adventure
The First 91/2 Weeks
Tremors 4: The Legend Begins

The Adge Files

Once again, we delve into the world of ostentatious and frankly unnecessary facial hair, and discover Sasha Baron Cohen channelling Liam Gallagher channelling the window of a barber's shop circa 1974 for his latest film, Grimsby. And no, this isn't just an excuse to point out that there used to be a dog grooming parlour on the way to Grimsby's Blundell Park ground called Shampoodles...

The Monday List

Ten More Novelty Hits You've Probably Completely Forgotten About
Loving You Has Made Me Bananas - Guy Marks
The Chicken Song - Spitting Image
Stars Over 45 - Chas and Dave
Doctorin' The Tardis - The Time Lords
The Winker's Song (Misprint) - Ivor Biggun
Christmas In Blobbyland - Mr Blobby
The Sit Song - The Barron Knights
Teletubbies Say 'Eh-oh!' - The Teletubbies
Pump Up The Bitter - Star Turn On 45 (Pints)
Rochdale Cowboy - Mike Harding

Great Random Moments In 'Why Do People Waar These?' History

No 1: What Leonardo DiCaprio took home last night, possibly:

The Monday List

Ten Famous People Who Were Born On February 29th
Joss Ackland
Dinah Shore
Ja Rule
Dennis Farina
Jimmy Dorsey
Sir Dave Brailsford
Jonno Coleman
Wendi Peters
Aileen Wournos
Tony Robbins

The Monday List

The Return Of Ten TV Shows That Surprisingly Have Their Own Board Game
The Bill
Firefly
Saved By The Bell
Mr Bean
The Big Bang Theory
The Addams Family
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The Six Million Dollar Man
Lost
Noel's House Party

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 9: a boy scout. Anyone know the Flemish for 'woggle'?

Films That Sound Like They Should Be About That Bloke Out Of Downton Abbey With Big Bushy Eyebrows

No 1 in a series of the worst puns we've ever done

The Monday List

A Further Ten Animated Music Videos (That Still Aren't Sledgehammer or Take On Me)
Bridge to Your Heart - Wax
Leave Me Alone - Michael Jackson
Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys
Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? - Moby
For Baltimore - All Time Low
Shoot The Runner - Kasabian
How Long's A Tear Take To Dry - Beautiful South
Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park
Heartless - Kanye West
Right Here, Right Now - Fatboy Slim

The Monday List

Ten More Quick Cash-in Follow-ups To Pride And Prejudice And Zombies

North And South And Zombies
Romeo And Juliet And Zombies
Man And Superman And Zombies
Mary, Mungo And Midge And Zombies
My Family And Other Animals And Zombies
Home And Away And Zombies
The Long and The Short And The Tall And Zombies
Steptoe And Son And Zombies
Hannah And Her Sisters And Zombies
Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) And Zombies (Sort Of Deceased)

Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day

This random collection of inguinal creases and sleeve tattoos is the ridiculously manly cast of the new Point Break. But we don't care how manly it's going to be, if it hasn't got Patrick Swayze going all Zen, Keanu Reeves looking a bit constipated and Gary Busey just generally being Gary Busey, then we're frankly not interested.

The Monday List

Ten Songs With Surprisingly Famous Singers On Backing Vocals

Games Without Frontiers, Peter Gabriel - Kate Bush
Tempted, Squeeze - Elvis Costello
Mellow Yellow, Donovan - Paul McCartney
No Regrets, Robbie Williams - Neil Tennant
Justify My Love, Madonna - Lenny Kravitz
Somebody's Watching Me, Rockwell - Michael Jackson
Never Let Her Slip Away, Andrew Gold - Freddie Mercury
You're So Vain, Carly Simon - Mick Jagger
The Bitch Is Back, Elton John - Dusty Springfield
Don't Come Around Here No More, Tom Petty - Stevie Nicks

Mayors Of Amsterdam Who Look Like Dinner Ladies

Nummer één in a series of we knew those Dutch lessons would pay off: Eberhard van de Laan

The Monday List

Ten Alternative Names For The Welsh Dinosaur
Daiceratops
Ivor the Extinct
Old Lleiopllurodon
Ptreorchy
Tyrannosaurus Rhys / Tyrannosaurus Wrexham
Jurassic Bach
Velindreraptor
Gellimimus
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochysaurus
Shirley Bassey

Great Random Costumes As Worn By The Manneken Pis

No 8: So this is what happened to Shergar...

The Adge Files: Epic Fail Edition

Or as our paranormal sideburn investigation squad labelled this one: Ed Sheeran Had Some Fuzzy Felt And Was Very Bored...

The Monday List

Ten Alternative Names For Howard Donald's New Baby
Ziggy
Major Tom
Blue Jean
Thin White Duke
Aladdin Sane
John (if he's only dancing)
Lazarus
Baby Universal
The Laughing Gnome
Scrooge McDuck

Planet Sad's Ridiculously Manly Film Still Of The Day

Ah, just breathe in the testosterone emanating from this still from Sylvester Stallone's Too Old To Box Any More Creed. If these two were any more pumped up, they'd be Dolly Parton's chest...

Great Random Moments In Fashion History

No 24: The late David Bowie frocks up and goes for a night on the town with an unusually overdressed Iggy Pop

 

The Monday List

Ten Things We're Really, Really Bored Of In Online 'Sponsored Content'

Tricks the retailers/bankers/life insurers don't want you to know
Dodgy stock market get-rich-quick schemes
Weird police mugshots
Ugly celebrities who got hot
Hot celebrities who got ugly
Quizzes that are really ways of selling you stuff
Before and after weight-loss photos where the subject is just standing up straight and sucking their stomach in like mad
Ordinary housewives who are infuriating medical professionals
Men who've learned to speak twenty-six foreign languages just because they can
Lindsay chuffing Lohan