Monday 28 December 2015

The Monday List

Ten Rejected Names For Wetherspoon Pubs
The Moon Out Of The Window
The Moon's A Balloon
The Everyone's Gone To The Moon
The Keith Moon's Roller Under Water
The Killing Moon
The Moon Landings Were Faked
The Daphne Moon Off Of Frasier
The Moonbase Alpha
The Dark Side Of The Moon
The Moon and Firkin

Monday 21 December 2015

The Monday List

The Ten Albums On The Planet Sad Gramophone This Christmas

And Christmas For All: The Holiday Tribute To Metallica - Wreck The Halls
Hung For The Holidays - William Hung
Glad Tidings: Mrs Mills' Christmas Party
A Merry Mancini Christmas - Henry Mancini
Christmas Jollies - The Salsoul Orchestra
Christmas With The Brady Bunch
Yuletide Disco - Mirror Image
Ren & Stimpy's Crock O'Christmas
Ho Ho Ho - RuPaul
John Denver And The Muppets: A Christmas Together

Thursday 17 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 17 December

It's…



















Penn & Teller & Slipknot!
No idea what's going on here aside from the obvious Thothing, but we reckon it's the clown one backstage at Bullshit! or something. How terribly festive, eh, readers?

Wednesday 16 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 16 December

It's…


Peter Steele!
Oh, Uncle Peter… why did you have to leave us? More to the point, why didn't you pose for a picture throwing the horns before you popped your size-17 clogs? A V-sign will have to do for now. Season's greetings, tall bugger. x

Tuesday 15 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 15 December

It's…























Gwen Stefani!
No doubt (yes, we went there…) this shot was taken on an ill-advised pub crawl, during which G-Stef would have warned her Harajuku Girls to avoid blokes called Gavin because they are the devil. We disagree – they're not Satanic, they just BRING SHAME ON WALES.













WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. When we said we liked a husky gentleman, we were thinking Parks & Rec-era Chris Pratt.

Monday 14 December 2015

The Monday List

Ten Films/TV Shows That Borrow The Plot of The Gift of the Magi

Gifts For Christmas
Love's Surprises Are Futile
Mickey's Once Upon A Christmas
The Gift Of Love
Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas
The Sacrifice
Christmas On Sesame Street
Gift For The Living
Raincoat
The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 14 December

It's…



















Pope Francis and Archbishop Antonio Tagle! Apparently it means "I love you" in the Philippines – metal as eff! Nice one, Francis – although we're still hoping for a Scandinavian Pope to be elected at some point, just because of how "Urbi et Orbi" would sound in the accent.

Saturday 12 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 13 December

It's…























Dave Mustaine! 
Because there's nothing we like better in the run-up to Christmas than to snuggle up under a tatty old Slanket sipping a cup of Dave Mustaine Coffee. Which inevitably leads to dreams of being abandoned outside a pub and forced to scrap with "Junior" Ellefson over pop and crisps. May your coffee be Thothy, everyone.


Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 12 December

It's…























Katy Perry! 
She Thothed a girl, and she liked it, apparently.

Friday 11 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 11 December

It's…



Peter Dinklage!
He goes up to 11. Face it, you'll never be this cool, will you?

Thursday 10 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 10 December

It's…























Guy Fieri! 
We once read an article that attempted to disparage Guy by likening him to one of the Biker Mice From Mars. Well, you know what? We actually WANTED a Biker Mouse From Mars for Christmas when they were the in thing, and we would have got one too, except we ended up choosing the Street Shark that looks like Pete Steele instead. But, as we settle down to our Christmas dinner of Quavers seasoned with turkey gravy powder, we'd give anything for a taste of Triple D. All very well in hindsight, isn't it?














The Street Shark that looks like Pete Steele.
Can't cook, won't cook.
Twat.

Wednesday 9 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 9 December

It's…























Dustin Hoffman!
With Anvil xxxxxxxxxxxx.

Tuesday 8 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 8 December

It's…






















Celine Dion!
From Dio to Dion! Poor Celine's had a tough time of it this past year, what with all the worries aboot her husband, The Wizard Rene Angelil. We wish them well, and one thing we know – near, far, wherever she are, we know that her Thoth will go on. Her Thoth will go on and on.

Monday 7 December 2015

The Monday List

Son Of Ten More Music Videos That Feature Horses


Candy - Robbie Williams
Growing On Me - The Darkness
Diamonds - Rhianna
Heartline - Robin George
I Could Be The One - Anicii vs Nicky Romero
Heart - Pet Shop Boys
Blue Orchid - White Stripes
Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something
Swerve City - Deftones
Living On The Ceiling - Blancmange

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 7 December

It's…

 
Ronnie James Dio!
Shown actual size. Hahahahahahaha.

Sunday 6 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 6 December

It's…


Tiny, tiny Justin Bieber!
He (and us) would like to wish a merry Christmas to all the lesbians who look like him.

Saturday 5 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 5 December

It's…























Charlie Brooker!
Yes, Charlie's made it into the calendar for a second successive year. And call us astute, but we believe he still may have children...

Friday 4 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 4 December

It's…
























Sir Alfred Hitchcock!
Leytonstone's finest export (sorry, David Beckham and Jonathan Ross, but you know it's true) is the second knight of the realm caught flashing the devil horns on our Sadvent tree. Of course, there's a possibility he was having problems with his hand swearing and was actually trying to flip someone The Bird(s)...

Thursday 3 December 2015

Sadvent Calendar 2015 – The Thothening! 3 December

It's…























George Dubya Bush!
Because we have no political bias. Or because we found the picture and we're not fussy, so he's in. Whatever.

Wednesday 2 December 2015

Tuesday 1 December 2015