Ten Things We're Really, Really Bored Of At New Year
Some bell-end setting off fireworks at any time later than 1am.
TV clip show countdowns of the year's most shocking events/most appalling people/most spurious excuses for a clip show
Having to find someone with dark hair to walk through the front door and let the New Year in
Live, on-the-spot coverage of the countdown to Big Ben…
…Inevitably featuring some wet git proposing to his equally soppy girlfriend on national television
Being charged £10 to get in your local pub for the evening
Jools Holland's Hootenanny that was probably filmed sometime in July
Family gatherings where you're compelled to play ultra-competitive games of Newmarket with relatives you barely know
Pubs that put up 'humorous' Re-Tox Here! signs to tempt in lapsed resolvers on 2 January
Chuffing New Year's Resolutions
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We're here, we're sad - get used to us! Whenever two or more are gathered together having a conversation about how the Kings of Leon look like they need a wash, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you find yourself inadvertently stalking a lower league footballer, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you are in need of a window to scrabble at, you are on Planet Sad. And if you are in the Twilight Zone, you should have turned left at the lights.
We're here, we're sad - get used to us!
WHERE ALL THE TRAGIC HAPPENS
We're here, we're sad - get used to us! Whenever two or more are gathered together having a conversation about how the Kings of Leon look like they need a wash, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you find yourself inadvertently stalking a lower league footballer, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you are in need of a window to scrabble at, you are on Planet Sad. And if you are in the Twilight Zone, you should have turned left at the lights.
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- HERE'S WHERE ALL THE TRAGIC HAPPENS! Whenever two or more are gathered together having a conversation about how the Kings of Leon look like they need a wash, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you find yourself inadvertently stalking a lower league footballer, you are on Planet Sad. Whenever you are in need of a window to scrabble at, you are on Planet Sad. And if you are in the Twilight Zone, you should have turned left at the lights.
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