Who Needs The Open...

...when you can play a round on the Planet Sad Crazy Golf course? This not-at-all-crap attraction has been set up in the back garden of Sad Towers, and features a variety of holes including

The Clown's Pocket

The Spartan's Well (par score 300)

The Ridiculously Manly Hole

The Dinner Lady's Tureen

The 'Hi, We're Muse!' Supermassive Black Hole

The Murray Mount (participants are awarded a bonus Jimmy Wig if they manage to successfully negotiate all the cows)

The James Spader (who is very disappointed in you if you can't get the ball through his mouth)

and The Windmill (because on every crazy golf course there's always a chuffing windmill)

And the ideal thing for negotiating this course is, of course, a wedge...