Ten Categories We'd Like To Have Seen At This Year's Oscars
Best Reboot Of A Prequel To A Sequel To A Remake
Best Attempt To Resurrect A Career Derailed By Scandal
Best Film Based On A Mediocre Sitcom
Best Film To Receive Extravagant Praise Without Actually Being Any Good
The Meryl Streep Award For Simply Being In A Film This Year
Best Performance By Someone You Didn't Realise Was Still Alive
Best Film Nobody Will Remember In Three Years' Time
Best Picture People Claim To Have Watched But Never Will
Best Film That Exists Purely To Stoke Up Outrage On Twitter
Best Delivery Of The film's Title In Dialogue
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