Little Mark Owen: The Official Planet Sad Statement

You may be aware that there is currently much speculation regarding Little Mark Owen out of Take That, with women queuing up to claim that in the past they have had 'a go'. At Planet Sad, we feel it unfair to add to his personal troubles at this difficult time.

Little Mark Owen having a difficult time, yesterday

Therefore all we will say on the matter is that yes, little Mark may have turned up at Planet Sad Towers while we were lounging on the settee in front of Glamour Puds, picking crumbs of Frazzle out of our Slankets. Our response was to say, 'Eee, little Mark, you look like you could do with a good steak and kidney pie down you, son.' Fortified with a generous helping of suet and a splash of Bisto Best onion gravy, he then went on his way.

Any other questions can be referred to our solicitors, Messrs Jock, Spiv, Slapper and Blouse. Now move along, there's nothing to see here...