The Monday List

Ten Signs That You're The Heroine Of A Lifetime Movie
Your children's nanny is trying to kill you because she's obsessed with your husband
The nice man you've just met online is actually a deranged stalker
The shy new friend you've made at school totally wants to take over your life and become
you
Your oldest and closest friend is trying to kill you because she's obsessed with your husband
Someone you think you can trust has emailed a fake porn clip of you to everyone you know in an attempt to ruin your life
Your morally upstanding husband is about to be unmasked as a serial rapist
The woman carrying your surrogate child is trying to kill you because she's obsessed with
your husband
The police are ignoring all your suspicions that you're being stalked/terrorised in your own home/about to be murdered
You've discover your husband has a secret love child who is determined to destroy your family
The mousy secretary at your husband's law firm is trying to kill you because she's obsessed with your husband